Months later

[eidolon]

So, after that second break up, jesus. I was/am still a wreck. This is probably more coping related, but yeah. I just still want to thank everyone who was here for me throughout December-March. It meant a lot that people took their time to get me to my senses and such. And that people cared.

It's been almost half a year since it ended, and well, dang, he started playing WoW again. Wouldn't you have guessed. I still have silly feelings of hope like if he hung out with me he'd realise how much he misses me, but ah well. What can you do?

I didn't initiate contact for the majority of these past months, but I'll admit that sometimes I got high/drunk solely for the purpose of having an excuse to talk to him because I couldn't face him sober.

Quite sure he doesn't care for me at all anymore though.

Last time we spoke was about a month ago over the phone. He said he'd "talk to me later" and I replied that "no, no you won't" and hung up. Not to sound cryptic, but because I knew he genuinely just would not give enough ****s to call me, y'know?

 

I really am trying hard to deal with the idea that we have "first" loves and "second" ones and so on. It really bothers me. I'm not okay with it. It makes me feel dirty and broken and used and easy. And I do still love him. I'm assuming that never entirely goes away?

 

Anyway, I cope by losing weight (down almost 45lbs since Feb!), watching movies (it's so hard finding things that don't remind me of him, oh god), reading, and I'm currently trying to learn Swedish

 

Just an update, I guess, not that a lot of people really care. If anyone does bother to read this, how have you dealt with a LDR breakup?

[eidolon]

After 1 month NC he messaged me. Just asking me why my Skype status is in Swedish. At the very end of it, he just stopped responding (it was a 10 minute convo, nothing big), and I gave up on the convo and said "kbye."

Ever since he messaged me I've been shaking and crying though.

I don't understand why I can't even handle a "hello" from him.

Damn it, haha. I'm a mess. I miss him. 1 month NC ruined.

[LickABattery]

The NC was good you were pulling it off and the stuff you said you were doing is really good cause it keeps your mind off him. I need to learn Swedish tbh my GF is swedish and it would be good if i could understand her when she talks swedish to me XD. But this time Keep the NC going and make sure you keep your mind occupied, I know it must be hard for you to get over him but if you keep the NC going and keep your mind occupied i know you will do it and make yoursef happy ^^.

 

When you start your NC with him again make sure it stays NC and seriously you will gradually feel better instead of making yourself shake and cry.

 

To your Question... How have i dealt with a LRD break up

 

Well i really dont know how i did it, i kept my mind occupied, i completely stopped talking to her even if i got the feeling to go and talk to her i stopped myself and just thought about what i was doing and what it would do to me. I kept myself occupied by just reading alot, playing alot of video games, going out with friends you know something that just make you forget ^^.

Edited August 6, 2011 by LickABattery
Spelling mistakes lol

[creighton0123]

There is no fundamental difference in dealing with an LDR breakup compared to a regular breakup. At an emotional level, you can't get over the things you are feeling until you work through them. Time will help you work through them more. If you feel as though it is preventing you from being productive in life, you can always seek professional help to work through your emotions. There is no shame in that.

 

I would recommend rethinking a breakup. Sure, it sucks, but consider it a relationship that ended successfully instead of a relationship that ended in failure. That way, in the instance of future breakups (whether you break up with or are broken up with) do not have the emotional impact of one who is mourning death.

 

If you truly maintain no contact, I can tell you that it may take years before you're able to speak with him again. The benefit of being long distance is that you don't have to speak to him again. If he is messaging you on Skype, block him. If you both play WoW and are on the same server, consider joining a new guild or transferring to a different server. As the GM of <H> Companion Cubes on Dentarg, I can tell you that you would be most welcome in our little guild.