Tough day coping

[Arikel]

Been pretty good since I broke up with my ex, the first week was a bit rough, I was under a lot of stress, didn't eat much, barely slept, then over the weekend I felt much better. Maybe because my parents came to visit and my sister was home to keep me company. I was doing ok last night, read, browsed LS..

 

Today is a bit rougher. I feel dull, depressed, not interested in anything at all. I'm a little sad. I wish he would acknowldge that he has caused me pain (but then again I've blocked him on all emails/IM's, heh), I wonder if his freaking imported f***buddy 'girlfriend' actually did come over from the Phillipines or was she a total scammer. I hope she is and didn't come! and if she did I hope she sucks and he heartily regrets cheating on me (doubtful!) I hope she finds out the truth about him while being alone in his apartment while he works and calls him out on it!

 

Argh, I'm tired today. I just want to move on with my life, get the projects I'm doing complete, go on a couple of dates with some nice people who can make me feel happy again. But I dont find anyone interesting at all on the dating sites so far, most of them just make me go Ack I guess i need some time off to get over that suave lying bastard first.

[smudge21]

You're not alone - was doing fine then for some reason memories flooded in on Friday night and I lost it. Haven't cried like that for some time over her! I'm not a suicidal person (partly due to a religious upbringing and my belief that life is a gift, and despite this pain there are people out there going through much worse and still pushing on) but there's been times like this when I can understand why people would take the easy option.

 

Feel fine today, but it's those little down moments that just come out of nowhere, usually when alone for a while with nothing to occupy my brain.

[Arikel]

Those little down moments really suck azz though. I don't know why I have been thinking about him so much today. Maybe I should have found something, anything to occupy my mind. Thinking of the if onlys, wondering why there was just something wired wrongly in this man that he just doesn't know what love is. Why did I have to meet him. The unfairness of it all hurts so much, but that's life isn't it. It's hardly fair

 

I wish I could cry and cry. Wish I could sob my heart out, but I won't cry over him and I have work tmr :/ I am not going to go around looking like a wreck. Screw that!

[smudge21]

Don't keep it in - if you want to cry, cry. There's no shame in showing the world you have emotions and that you have loved and lost.

 

I was thinking the same the other day - why did I have to meet her, how better my life would've been without her... okay, maybe not better, but different.

 

The fact is, for all you know your life could've been even worse had you chosen a different path. As bad as this seems now, it could always be worse.

 

I also get what you say about your ex maybe not knowing what love is. I felt the same way too due to how she reacted around me. I know that love wasn't a strong part of her previous relationships, and I always remember her telling me I was so different to any other guy she'd known (I like to see that in a good way). So yeah, maybe both our exs simply didn't know how to deal with what we gave them. That said, it's clearly their loss.

 

Just remember, you have to experience these low moments so you can appreciate the high moments. That's life...

[Arikel]

Thanks for your wise words Smudge! You're totally right, it's their loss! And yeah, life would've been different if we had never met our exes, and like you I believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe if we hadn't met them we wouldn't have learnt something, or we might be in a worse situation.