focus2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 The ex that brought me to this board isnt even a recent ex. He's an ex from years past. I have so much built up anger and anxiety towards this man. I'm planning to move to another town because of this man. When I see him, which is almost everyday at work, I become anxiety filled and can't focus. He's gotten married and I know I'm jealous of that. I don't want to feel this anger and hate towards him. Afterall, all he really did was choose not to return my love. Maybe it's because I have to see him all of the time that I can't let go of the anger and hate. Maybe's its because he's living a happy life with a new wife and stepson. Maybe it's just that I'm selfish and have decided either he loves me or I hate him. Whatever it is, I'm tired of feeling this way toward him. Yes, he's done some things that weren't very nice toward me, but nothing compared to what some other guys in relationships have done. Its like I've focused all of my rage and anger on this one man. I know I'm rambling and not sure this makes much sense, but I'm getting ready to move to a whole new town just so I don't have to feel this way any more. A huge life change just because I can't let go of this anger towards this one man. I've had relationships come and go and I've never been so bitter toward any of them. Maybe it's because I have to interact with him on a daily basis. Maybe its just because I'm a selfish bitch that can't stand to see him happy when I'm not. All I know is I'm exhausted from the anger and bitterness and anxiety I feel when I'm near him. Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 Hey Focus - I completely understand how you feel. Rejection is such a powerful force. It makes you irrational and hold on to bad feelings for far longer and for reasons that don't make sense. Work on your self esteem, I have just been reading this and all of these tips put the power back on your side and away for the person that hurt you. http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/100-tips-thoughts-for-better-self-esteem-because-if-you-dont-like-love-you-youll-choose-people-that-reflect-this/ He is a constant reminder every day of someone who rejected you and didn't choose you, getting away from that will surely help. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author focus2011 Posted August 8, 2011 Author Share Posted August 8, 2011 Thank you so much for that website. I got to number 4 and the tears i've been holding back just flowed. I don't understand why this man or why this much hate and anger, but I do believe you're correct......the answer lies in my self-esteem, not something he has or hasn't done. He is a constant reminder of rejection, but that's my problem and not something I should hate him for. Link to post Share on other sites
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