alexa137 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 ok, a guy i was dating for 3 mths stopped contacting me about 1 1/2 weeks ago, he was somewhat upset with me(see previous posts in second chances forum), i deleted his number from my phone so i couldnt text or call him. now i am on the plentyoffish dating site and that is where we meet in may. i reactivated my account 2 weeks ago and he wasnt on there( i know this because it says mutual matches and he usually shows up_ so anyways 2 days he reappears! with a picture that i took of him when we went to his family members wedding in june! smdh! his profile now reads: looking for someone new and exciting, I am a caring and thoughtful guy, i just moved into my new house and is looking for someone to share it with. oh and also he is searching for a long term relationship so, i tried not to send him a message on the site, but after a day i just had to make a comment! so I said, nice pic!hmmm.. this site says we are a match!!! well no response! so I decided to send this message: its funny how this site says youre a match! anyways, I dropped my water so i dont have your number so this is the only way i have to contact you. so, why did you stop talking to me? Just would like to know for closure. thank you. no response!! are you kidding me so 1 last final message i sent this morning: nevermind, you dont have the decency to respond! unbelievable! oh, FYI you shouldnt lie on your profile, youre NOT caring and thoughtful! so if a guy no longer wants anything to do with you why cant he just say the reason> i mean be respectful and answer the damn question! i would think a guy would just want to get it over with and just say whats on his mind or maybe hes a coward! it just annoys me alot oh yea he hasnt removed me from his facebook page yet though! weird i just hope the next person he is with hurts him as much as he hurt me! and that he realizes i was a good catch! Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 We have all wrapped ourselves up in 'why', but if psych 101 taught me nothing (and it didn't), it's that people have no idea why they do anything. Most explanations are justifications come up with after the fact. This is difficult to accept, but why isn't important. If it happened, it happened. All that remains now is how to deal with it. Not what you wanted to hear, but this is as close to truth as you may find. Link to post Share on other sites
lovesickmonkey Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 alexa, My ex, within days of leaving me, posted a photo of herself on her FB profile taken by me at our first anniversary dinner! When I saw that, I was livid. How could I not take that as a smack in the face? I am so sick of this ... process, I'm ready to hurl. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Be pro-active and delete and block him from your facebook. Seeing his account back on POF should have told you all you needed to know- why you bothered sending him 3 messages is beyond me, he doesn't deserve any more of your time and energy. He's a coward, plain and simple. He didn't know how to end the relationship so he just went MIA. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hey Alexa, the last time you dumped a guy, did you tell him he real reasons you dumped him? or did you just say its not working out? Many things about you probably turned him off, usually people give you clues as to what those things are while youre dating, if youre paying attention. It could be something that he thinks will give you self esteem issues, so he might have avoided you so he wouldnt have to say what that reason is. or on the other hand, he just might not care at all, and wants to stay as far away from you as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 yea hes a punk! i hate him now! i know i messed up and talked about it but he seemed liked he liked me alot but i guess that was just the player in him. i have a problem trusting me from my past, everyone cheated or lied to me. well to be honest, ive never dumped a guy! im the one who always gets dumped! i dont understand why either! i feel like a failure, and worthless. it has happened too many times and now im done! he wanted to continue dating but i wanted more and he said it was too soon but i was willing to step back for a little while longer to see where it would go. but now i found out by putting a fake profile on the plentyoffish site that he as dating someone else! i mean IMO isnt right, im just different, i think if you are dating 1 person then thats it! men think its ok to date several women at a time. also with this fake profile he keeps sending messages, and we chatted and i was trying to find out what his deal is, but at this point it doesnt even matter anymore. i just hope the next girl hurts him like he hurt me and that he realizes i was a good woman, because u dont find too many out there! Link to post Share on other sites
dumpedandsore Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 yea hes a punk! i hate him now! i know i messed up and talked about it but he seemed liked he liked me alot but i guess that was just the player in him. i have a problem trusting me from my past, everyone cheated or lied to me. well to be honest, ive never dumped a guy! im the one who always gets dumped! i dont understand why either! i feel like a failure, and worthless. it has happened too many times and now im done! he wanted to continue dating but i wanted more and he said it was too soon but i was willing to step back for a little while longer to see where it would go. but now i found out by putting a fake profile on the plentyoffish site that he as dating someone else! i mean IMO isnt right, im just different, i think if you are dating 1 person then thats it! men think its ok to date several women at a time. also with this fake profile he keeps sending messages, and we chatted and i was trying to find out what his deal is, but at this point it doesnt even matter anymore. i just hope the next girl hurts him like he hurt me and that he realizes i was a good woman, because u dont find too many out there! You sounded like a serious committed nice lady. He is similar to my ex or i call scumbag, he left without a word, left me in a mess trying to figure out what exactly happened. And guess what, he is right back on the dating sites, adding and checking out new random girls. He knows im awfully miserable and disturbed from the whole "silent breakup" ordeal. He knows he needs to end it properly and owns me some real explanation. I have been scolding and ranting at him. He doesn't seem the least disturbed, offended or guilty, he just continue to know more new girls. Thats what gets me mad! Its like he is enjoying and gloating at my misfortune. If he has toned down a little, at least i know he is feeling slightly remorseful over the break-up but nope, he is doing very fine. I reckon he is not the least afraid about me, even if i do hurt myself over him. typical behaviour of a player, they just come and go, with little emotions or accountability. You deserve better. Its a blessing in disguise. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I think most people, not just men, don't want to say the actual reasons they ended it (or didn't contact again) is because they don't want to say things that would hurt your feelings. It's just the way it is and it sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
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