how do you know when?????

[crzay]

i'm really confused about my feelings for my boyfriend.

 

i love him dearly, i know i do, but seriously, how do you tell when you are just settling down with someone or are bored or are falling out of love witht them? i love our little life together for the most part, but sometimes i want to be alone.

 

he wants to watch too much t.v. sports, go out too much, and i am such a home body. i guess the main thing is that we don't fight hardly at all, but when we do he throws alot of things at me that make me feel like i'm ruining his life.

 

he accuses me of acting like his mother, not wanting to ever do anything, always complaining about everything, while he sits there and acts like he is perfect and i point out all his faults too; all you want to do is watch sports and t.v. don't want to listen to me, you bitch about work too much, your way too moody.

 

like i said tho we don't fight much, rarely, really, but when we do i feel so bad and so does he, then we make up and all is well again except?????????????

 

me! once again, i start to question if this is the way i want to live out my life. i know i love him and i can't think of spending my life without him, but other times i want to be alone to watch what i want, to be on the computer when i want, to stay home all weekend long if i want, to not have to go to his family if i don't want and so on and so forth.

 

so how do i know if it's just us settling down or me getting bored with the monotomy of a relationship or ????

 

any suggestions? sex life is still great! been together a little over a couple years now.........

[Tony T]

You have to answer these questions for yourself.

 

From reading your post, your relationship seems to be pretty normal. However, you need to communicate with him and compromise on some issues that will make you happier. He needs to understand that you want to stay home more and that some of the time, he needs to do things alone without you. Let him know you want to be on the computer and sometimes you just want to stay home rather than go out anywhere. Assure him you enjoy his company but you require a balance between time spent doing things together and times spent doing things apart.

 

You can also be at home together, each of you doing your own thing.

 

You may be surprised that he will be OK with this, especially if you explain to him it has nothing to do with him or your love for him, it's just what you feel you need.

 

If you can't talk to him like this and get him to compromise, you are with the wrong dude...no matter how much you love him.

 

As far as the arguments go, you probably ought to discuss the issues he brings up in these arguments and try to resolve some of them...but lots of times people don't mean the things they say when they're made. You need to talk about them because lots of times people DO mean the things they say when they are angry.