Praying praying

[reimeivn]

So since the ex dumped me people have been taking me to church. i am Buddhist so mind you, i try but i got nowhere.

 

The other night, I was crying again, because of just how heartless he was doing some stuffs to me that I never had thought about before. So I prayed to my grandmother, who passed away long time ago. She had cancer, and the family was so poor that I was there with her the entire time, cooking everyday, and just blessed to have the experience and to be with her then.

 

By the morning, I got this enlightenment in the middle of me daydreaming and trying to get up. I realized how I would feel telling somebody that I dont love that person anymore. It was so real, I almost was him for the moment, and I hated to be with me. It broke my heart all over again. I cried a bunch on my pillow, and then I went to sleep.

 

And then I didnt feel bad anymore. It just feel like a tons of weights have been lifted off my chest. Today a friend of him posted something on my fb and so I politely helped her out, with a smiley face.

 

I feel nice. At least I dont hate her. And she doesnt hate me neither. I dont know what else to say about this but it was just my grandmother heard me, I guess? I think I am doing well on my personal journey, now I can stop thinking about when I want to.

[0hpenelope]

Prayer and lots of crying (done away from an ex and mutual friends, of course) are very helpful options. That's so great that it brought you peace. And if you feel that your grandmother heard you, then there's nothing wrong or "crazy" in believing that she did. There is a great love between the two of you and that kind of love, I believe, surpasses death.