Bill Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Today, I came home to find that my ex-girlfriend had sent me a few messages via instant messaging. I messaged back, because she said a few times she had thought of calling me. I told her that might not be a good idea, since I was involved. She said, "what's wrong with being a friend?". I have been dating a girl for about 3 months now, this ex was from about 4 months ago. My current girlfriend, she's the jealous kind. I have no problems with this. What do you think I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 You say she's the jealous type so I guess you figure she wouldn't like it much? I think you should give you and your current girlfriend some more time before being friends with your ex. You should probably ask her ( your current that is ) what she feels about it because if she finds out later that the two of you have been in touch and you didn't tell her, well........ And if she feels the least bit uneasy I would tell your ex that this is not the right time for the two of you to start being friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bill Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 Talked via IM, these lines kinda worried me... [19:26:33PM] Her: got a question for you.... [19:27:35PM] Her: you want to go grab coffee and just hangout sometime as friends nothing more..? [19:27:53PM] Her: would you want to do that or something? [19:28:08PM] Me: I don't think that would be a good idea right now [19:28:28PM] Me: maybe in the future, but right now, isn't a good time [19:28:42PM] Her: well i wouldnt want to get you in trouble with your g/f [19:29:05PM] Me: well, nor would I, I'm 100% faithful, and I would not want to seem like it's anything else [19:29:35PM] Her: well it wouldnt be just as friends [19:29:58PM] Me: ? [19:30:27PM] Her: ok never mind [19:31:51PM] Her: never mind [19:31:56PM] Her: just a thought Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 An ex is an ex for a reason. You have a girlfriend, and one who's jealous to boot. Who cares what she writes you? She's in the past. You've got someone else in your life now. How would YOU feel if your girlfriend was chatting online with an ex boyfriend and discussing the possibility of getting together "as friends"? Seems like a no-brainer to me. Why waste time trying to analyze and real or hidden meanings in her IM to you? You have a girlfriend. Devote your energy into her and your friendship with her. Unless you enjoy this attention or something. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Aaaaa.... hello? what stopped you from seeing she is obviously testing the waters? And in a really selfish way, 'cause she's like giving you the sign and if you ask her "what does this mean" she can always say you've read too much into it. Also called "tempting" it an action most females undergo when they feel something belonging to then apearantly does not. That's you. Why did she do it? It can be vanity - a possible outcame if you call for a cup of coffee will be her thinking she can always have you back if she puts her mind to it; it can be curiosity - to see how special your current relationship with your gf is compared to what you used to have and if you're willing to cross the line for her; it can simply be that she wants to be friends. Be careful it may be simply about ego, a question of her power over you, it does not necessarily mean she wants you back. Think a bit about where this puts you and more importantly your gf. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 She is probably messaging you because she misses you and sees friendship a way to keep you in her life. Then that a way try get you back maybe? That's what I think. I also agree with an ex is an ex for a reason. Don't give your current girlfriend something to be jelous about. Just enjoy what you have with this girl now. If you don't want this girl (the ex) to keep messaging you just make yourself invisible on the Instant Message thing if you can for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bill Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 Just to let you all know, I was never going to attempt any "friends" thing. I just wanted to know what you thought on that, and what others would do in this situation. All of my exs have dissapointed me. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Well if it was me I would just ignore them like I would do what I said in the last message I posted. My Ex messaged me on my mobile a couple of nights ago. . This is an Ex from two years ago. . I hadn't even heard or spoken of the guy in a long time. He must have been a little messed up and drunk. I deleted the messages straight away and turned off my phone. There is no way I would go back out with him now. . Like you I am also seeing somebody new. I would never dump him for any of my Ex's. He is not like the one that messaged me on the mobile at all. The total opposite. A really great guy. Not the least bit messed up at all! Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Hi Bill - block her. Her: well it wouldnt be just as friends she knows you are with someone else, she 'doesnt want to get you in trouble' but then tries to get you in trouble. Block block block. Link to post Share on other sites
Southerngirl84 Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 I agree block her, sounds to me like she wants to cause some drama Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 just to see if she can, leaving you with... nothing Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 Definately sounds like either an ego trip to see how much hold she has on you or she misses you. An ex like this is hardly worth tossing aside your current gf. Link to post Share on other sites
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