When your SO makes subtle comments that you need to lose weight

[bittersweet memories]

 

2. As of last week, I'm 20.7% body fat. I'm on the short side, but the "curves" are implants. Not overweight, but thanks for playing!

 

Yea sure. Nice try!!! :lmao: That's what they all say...

[threebyfate]

You mean, herself? She's the one saying she has weight issues. . . It's not like someone else made a thread, "ES needs to lose 15 pounds."

 

I do agree there's no point in putting energy into anything bad, real or imagined, her ex may have done. But perhaps ES should not go around with the idea in her head and especially TELLING people she has weight issues. . . if she doesn't want people to think maybe she's right and she could afford to lose a few. (Again, I can't think what she looks like, and said pictures aren't up, so I really don't even know if said 15 pounds of overweight-ness are fictional or real.)

I dunno about you people. Anything to make her feel bad even when she has no reason to feel bad beyond experiencing break up.

 

Most women want to lose anywhere from 5 - 20 lbs. And most of the these women are within the BMI category of healthy weight.

[zengirl]

I dunno about you people. Anything to make her feel bad even when she has no reason to feel bad beyond experiencing break up.

 

Most women want to lose anywhere from 5 - 20 lbs. And most of the these women are within the BMI category of healthy weight.

 

Most secure, beautiful women I know don't go around talking about wanting to lose weight or change their bodies in any other way. (I mean, maybe all women have some thing they'd love to have magically changed about themselves, but there's a huge difference from turning it into an insecurity and airing it and simply accepting it and going about your day.)

 

Beauty and weight are not the things that keep ES from being happy or secure. Nor was her BF. Nor is LS. ES keeps ES from being happy and secure. And this is just one more way for her to perpetuate it is all.

 

All I'm saying is she needs to either lose the weight or not lose it, but stop fretting about it, inside or out, in a way anyone can see. And then actually stop fretting about it in a way she can see.

[Star Gazer]

I think ES is a little...consumed with her body, and comparing herself to others. How many times have we seen her (and her other names) in someone else's threads, where someone is commenting on a woman's body, chime in to ask what he didn't like about the woman-in-question's figure? "Just curious, but what about her body wasn't good to you? Was her butt too big? Her thighs? Boobs?"

 

And of course there's the volleyball player with the hot bod she was afraid for her ex to be around, because she was - her own words - uncomfortable in her own body.

 

And then there were the handful of OKC dates she went on, where she asked for advice about how to lose anywhere from 5-10 pounds in a very short period of time (a matter of days!) so that she could feel comfortable meeting a new guy.

 

As ZG said, most normal, healthy women, even if they have things they want to change (I think we all do), don't obsess like that.

[threebyfate]

All this nitpicking for what? Yes, more nitpicking will make ES happy and more secure about herself. Mmmhmm...right...sure.

 

So very glad the rest of you are so incredibly secure, you don't post threads looking for help on LS or post about your own weight issues on LS or post your own experiences on LS.

 

Anyways, carry on abusing ES. I know you will.

[Star Gazer]

So very glad the rest of you are so incredibly secure, you don't post threads looking for help on LS or post about your own weight issues on LS or post your own experiences on LS.

 

You're talking about yourself, right? I can't recall the last time you posted a thread about anything having to do with your personal life.

 

And other than talking about baby-making efforts, you don't make any posts in other threads about any "help" you need.

 

You only comment on other people's lives and critique the way other people post.

[Feelsgoodman]

The OP is clearly an American. Any other person would be ashamed of the fact that their weight problem is so out of control that even their significant other has to tell them to lose weight. An American, on the other hand, thinks along the following lines: how dare he subtly and tactfully hint at the fact that I'm an overweight slob? He should love me the way I am!

 

I used to wonder how the U.S. managed to accumulate a $14 trillion deficit. I think I know the answer now. The Americans spent all those trillions stuffing their faces with junk food...and then buying oversized, gas-guzzling SUVs to drive their fat @sses around (and by 'around' I mean to the local all you can eat buffet), since they could no longer fit into normal-sized cars.

[zengirl]

All this nitpicking for what? Yes, more nitpicking will make ES happy and more secure about herself. Mmmhmm...right...sure.

 

So very glad the rest of you are so incredibly secure, you don't post threads looking for help on LS or post about your own weight issues on LS or post your own experiences on LS.

 

Anyways, carry on abusing ES. I know you will.

 

I made a thread not long ago when I felt unsure with myself and my own dissonance over my exBF's new GF (already over btw. . . weird). I post plenty of personal stuff in other threads as well. I just posted about overcoming, reasonably recently, a money/career insecurity in a thread another poster made about the subject. . .

 

I really don't see many posts about your own life, as SG says. And yes, people are going to comment on what people say on a message board. . . obviously. It's not a personal journal. It's not sobbing to your Mama or best gal pal. It's a public forum where you'll get a lot of different responses. "Help" to me does not equal, "You're totally okay doing everything the way you have and it's just dumb luck you're unhappy." Maybe it does to you, I don't know, but that seems silly. Who wants to live in their own ego echo chamber?

[IrishCarBomb]

The OP is clearly an American.

 

She's Australian. But don't let "facts" get in the way of your emotional rant.

[Anela]

.............

Edited August 11, 2011 by Anela

[Chocolat]

The OP is clearly an American.

 

Pretty sure the OP is from Eastern Europe, living in Australia now.

[threebyfate]

Quite frankly, I don't bother posting threads on LS since it's no longer a place to get any healthy advice. There are still a few posters on LS who do give good advice but I'd rather PM them for input, if it ever came down to it, not that it has.

[zengirl]

Quite frankly, I don't bother posting threads on LS since it's no longer a place to get any healthy advice. There are still a few posters on LS who do give good advice but I'd rather PM them for input, if it ever came down to it, not that it has.

 

Then why would you criticize people for not posting threads?

[threebyfate]

Then why would you criticize people for not posting threads?

Reread what I wrote. That's not what I said.

[Ruby Slippers]

She's Australian. But don't let "facts" get in the way of your emotional rant.

 

You rule.

[AHardDaysNight]

I would take it seriously.

 

I already know I need to lose weight. It's not like I don't already know.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have been holding back majorly from commenting but here it goes:

 

I think that I look thinner than SG does in the pics she posted so I am amused at her negative feedback (not that I haven't been expecting it). Further, I think that I have a natural hourglass shape, with little fat accumulating in the waist area which is much preferable and sexier than the dreaded apple shape

[Star Gazer]

I have been holding back majorly from commenting but here it goes:

 

I think that I look thinner than SG does in the pics she posted so I am amused at her negative feedback (not that I haven't been expecting it). Further, I think that I have a natural hourglass shape, with little fat accumulating in the waist area which is much preferable and sexier than the dreaded apple shape

 

Did you seriously just say that??

 

First, and most importantly, the alleged negative feedback I made about the pictures you posted - IN A THREAD WHERE YOU YOURSELF CALLED YOURSELF OVERWEIGHT AND WANTING TO LOSE POUNDS - was that you could stand to make some more flattering clothing choices. YOU actually announced that you needed to lose weight, and I didn't even agree with you! Rather, I said you could make better clothing choices! Criminey! Not once did I insult you or call you fat, overweight, or say that you have a "dreaded" figure - as you just described me. (Oh, the irony...*sigh*)

 

Second, this isn't a thread about MY body and clearly shouldn't be a figure competition. YOU started this thread about YOUR body and posted unflattering pictures of YOUR body seeking validation (a quilt-pattern top and black or navy skirt, tights, and white/black mary jane shoes; a purple-ish pattern dress with turquoise shrug/sweater). YOU said you needed to lose weight, at least 15 pounds. YOU made admissions that YOU do not exercise. YOU have previously described YOURSELF as "chunky."

 

I suppose I'm just a little annoyed at what you said about me above because, unlike you, *I* am PROUD of the body that I have worked so very hard for - not only in how it looks, but what I can do with it from a fitness standpoint. I also eat clean, workout vigorously almost daily, and have a body fat percentage which is in the "fit" range. I'm not perfect, but I feel great.

 

But if comparing yourself to yet another woman (me, this time) and declaring yourself better by putting my figure down is what you need to FINALLY gain some body confidence of your own, then by all means, have at it. You may think you have a more desirable figure, but I have news for you: different dudes have different preferences in what they find attractive. I know I have never had a BF tell me to lose weight or join a gym, so maybe I just can't relate to what you're saying. Sure, I have my moments of self-doubt - we all do - but I have to admit that it feels pretty good not comparing my figure to the figure of women my BF hangs out with, and being confident enough to strut around the beach in a bikini, and getting asked out at the gym wearing nothing but a sports bra and tiny tight UA shorts - like tonight - even when baring my "dreaded apple shape." If a guy isn't into *this* with my so-called less-than-desirable-body-shape, then he can go find someone else. No skin off my back.

 

My pictures are still up for public consumption. Yours, curiously, are not. But yeah, if you need to attack me to feel better about yourself... if that's really what you need to do... then I'll post even more pictures for you to attack. You just let me know when you need another boost.

Edited August 11, 2011 by Star Gazer

[Star Gazer]

Weliiiiiiiikkkkeeeeee!!! Where have you beeeeeeennnnn???

[threebyfate]

Are you serious? You definately are one flew over the cuckoos nest. You really need some Richard Simmons or Dr Phil intervention.

I can't see SG's current pics but in some of her past pics, she was more BigBonedW than ES.

 

Edit - But I would also like to add that this pissing match wouldn't have started had SG not been deliberately cruel with ES and commented on her weight. Why would anyone do this when it's obvious that ES wants to lose a few pounds which isn't abnormal for man or woman and also, considering the nature of the thread where ES's ex was bugging her to lose weight?

 

Why not step into one of SG's thread and suggest she too deserved whatever awful thing one of her ex's did to her and that it's because she's crazy and it was her fault that it happened?

Edited August 11, 2011 by threebyfate

[Citizen Erased]

I think that they're both gorgeous and this is getting ridiculous. Neither are fat or BBW, this is getting way too personal now.

[rafallus]

I have been holding back majorly from commenting but here it goes:

 

I think that I look thinner than SG does in the pics she posted so I am amused at her negative feedback (not that I haven't been expecting it). Further, I think that I have a natural hourglass shape, with little fat accumulating in the waist area which is much preferable and sexier than the dreaded apple shape

 

Catfiiiight <brings the popcorn>.

 

I think that they're both gorgeous and this is getting ridiculous.

 

Buzzkill.

 

But I agree on both counts.

[climbergirl]

Did you seriously just say that??

 

First, and most importantly, the alleged negative feedback I made about the pictures you posted - IN A THREAD WHERE YOU YOURSELF CALLED YOURSELF OVERWEIGHT AND WANTING TO LOSE POUNDS - was that you could stand to make some more flattering clothing choices. YOU actually announced that you needed to lose weight, and I didn't even agree with you! Rather, I said you could make better clothing choices! Criminey! Not once did I insult you or call you fat, overweight, or say that you have a "dreaded" figure - as you just described me. (Oh, the irony...*sigh*)

 

Second, this isn't a thread about MY body and clearly shouldn't be a figure competition. YOU started this thread about YOUR body and posted unflattering pictures of YOUR body seeking validation (a quilt-pattern top and black or navy skirt, tights, and white/black mary jane shoes; a purple-ish pattern dress with turquoise shrug/sweater). YOU said you needed to lose weight, at least 15 pounds. YOU made admissions that YOU do not exercise. YOU have previously described YOURSELF as "chunky."

 

I suppose I'm just a little annoyed at what you said about me above because, unlike you, *I* am PROUD of the body that I have worked so very hard for - not only in how it looks, but what I can do with it from a fitness standpoint. I also eat clean, workout vigorously almost daily, and have a body fat percentage which is in the "fit" range. I'm not perfect, but I feel great.

 

But if comparing yourself to yet another woman (me, this time) and declaring yourself better by putting my figure down is what you need to FINALLY gain some body confidence of your own, then by all means, have at it. You may think you have a more desirable figure, but I have news for you: different dudes have different preferences in what they find attractive. I know I have never had a BF tell me to lose weight or join a gym, so maybe I just can't relate to what you're saying. Sure, I have my moments of self-doubt - we all do - but I have to admit that it feels pretty good not comparing my figure to the figure of women my BF hangs out with, and being confident enough to strut around the beach in a bikini, and getting asked out at the gym wearing nothing but a sports bra and tiny tight UA shorts - like tonight - even when baring my "dreaded apple shape." If a guy isn't into *this* with my so-called less-than-desirable-body-shape, then he can go find someone else. No skin off my back.

 

My pictures are still up for public consumption. Yours, curiously, are not. But yeah, if you need to attack me to feel better about yourself... if that's really what you need to do... then I'll post even more pictures for you to attack. You just let me know when you need another boost.

 

I call BS. Yes, she made a comment that she wanted to lose weight, but you tacked on another 10-15 pounds. I won't even go into the "knee" comment as I was disgusted that someone would offer that unsolicited advice. Perhaps it wasn't intended, but you have come off as undeliberately cruel.

 

So now ES is realizing that she has distorted her image of herself and she does look good...isn't that what we should all want here? For a poster to feel good about themselves? But now you are railing on her for THAT! What is it with you? You are coming off as more insecure than you purport ES to be. And to clarify, I am NOT saying you are, just stating how you are coming off on this thread.

 

I think we have all, at one time or another, felt a bit uncomfortable in our own bodies. Whether it is justified or not, I'm surprised by the lack of empathy by some posters.

[zengirl]

Reread what I wrote. That's not what I said.

 

You said:

 

Originally Posted by threebyfate

So very glad the rest of you are so incredibly secure, you don't post threads looking for help on LS or post about your own weight issues on LS or post your own experiences on LS.

 

Granted, the criticism itself is all in the tone, but this is clearly critical and sarcastic. You are not truly glad.

[tigressA]

"Oh, no. No"

 

 

 

"no, no, no, no"

 

 

 

"NONONONONONO"

 

 

 

 

 

ANNNNNNNNNNNNND everything went as expected. Off I go, content that all is well in the world of LoveShack.

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

*stuffing the remaining crumbs of popcorn into my laughing mouth*