zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I have been holding back majorly from commenting but here it goes: I think that I look thinner than SG does in the pics she posted so I am amused at her negative feedback (not that I haven't been expecting it). Further, I think that I have a natural hourglass shape, with little fat accumulating in the waist area which is much preferable and sexier than the dreaded apple shape Wow, what a disgusting way to seek validation---through the comparison and put downs of others. SG's weight should be off the table IMO, as I've not seen a thread of her complaining (and begging for disagreement validation, essentially) about her weight. I don't think she was needlessly cruel. She was discussing something ES herself put on the table to discuss. I don't actually know what either of them weigh and haven't seen good body shots of either of them, but at no time did ES say only people thinner than her could respond to her post, so WTF does it matter what SG looks like. At any rate: If you point out a flaw (real or imagined) in yourself and go on and on about it, expect someone to agree. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 "Oh, no. No" "no, no, no, no" "NONONONONONO" ANNNNNNNNNNNNND everything went as expected. Off I go, content that all is well in the world of LoveShack. :lmao::lmao: *stuffing the remaining crumbs of popcorn into my laughing mouth* Ditto this completely!! Soooo, this thread has taken a little bit of a dip, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Since this thread has, as per usual, devolved into a dramatic, cat-fighting mess (I certainly am no longer taking it seriously) I'm throwing my hat in. I think I look better than either ES or SG. "Ohhhhh nooooo she didn't!" (Clearly, this is a joke. We're all pretty ladies here.) :rolleyes::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
leftfordead2 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 It's interesting that you cropped your face out of all of those pictures when you regularly have avatars of your face. I think you could make some more flattering clothing choices. The first picture in the navy (?) skirt makes you look about 30 pounds overweight (but then again, right above your knee on the left leg is kinda telling of excess weight). And the light blue dress I'd say 25 pounds. Umm, just to point out, you didn't just criticize her clothes... Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) In what will undoubtedly be a fruitless effort to bring us back on track, the OP posed the question of whether or not her bfs comments suggesting that she lose weight were hurtful. Whether they were or not, whether anyone thinks she's being paranoid and overreacting or not...all fair points of discussion. A direct critique on the OP's actual appearance and weight - including the amount of fat accumulating on her knees - is unnecessary for the purpose of this thread. SG made a dig, ES dug back. Point:Point. Can we move on now? (And for the record TigressA, *I* look better than all three of you! ) Edited August 11, 2011 by LexiB Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 In what will undoubtedly be a fruitless effort to bring us back on track, the OP posed the question of whether or not her bfs comments suggesting that she lose weight were hurtful. Whether they were or not, whether anyone thinks she's being paranoid and overreacting or not...all fair points of discussion. A direct critique on the OP's actual appearance and weight - including the amount of fat accumulating on her knees - is unnecessary for the purpose of this thread. SG made a dig, ES dug back. Point:Point. Can we move on now? (And for the record TigressA, *I* look better than all three of you! ) I can't post pictures online because of what I do (teaching/Education) but I'm sexier than all of you. FTR. ES invited people to look at her pictures, which to me is inviting a critique. I don't think SG was criticizing ES for her own ego purposes, but rather SG is just a naturally critical person who's lost weight herself and probably dresses strategically. I'd never even think to say clothes made you look big, but I don't dress strategically for weight. However, the problem is you're never allowed to criticize or even analyze anyone's looks in our society without seeming rude. Personally, I find this odd, but I'm half-Asian. I walk into my grandma's house, and all my aunts are commenting on my appearance left and right, and, frankly, when I lived in Korea and Japan (well the countryside in Japan more than Tokyo which has become very Westernized), this was not uncommon either. It's just a normal thing to talk about. I was also in modeling for a time in my teens, so perhaps I'm just immune. Even re-reading those comments SG made, I don't get what the fuss is. ES started talking about her weight; why are we supposed to tiptoe around the subject then? As far as her exBF goes. . . ES always looks for exBFs faults after relationships fail. That's a bigger issue than 15 pounds, real or imagined. Link to post Share on other sites
ptp Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Do some of you guys/gals know each other in real life? How do ES and SG know what each other look like? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) -Edited out- I think I'll join in the popcorn munching instead. Goodness only knows I've been wasting too much time on LS recently. Edited August 11, 2011 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
JHS Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My pictures are still up for public consumption. Yours, curiously, are not. But yeah, if you need to attack me to feel better about yourself... if that's really what you need to do... then I'll post even more pictures for you to attack. You just let me know when you need another boost. Does anyone know why I can't look at photos? I get an error message... Link to post Share on other sites
JHS Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 If that's Stargazer's pic in her avatar I think she looks pretty good. Maybe her ex BF was nuts after all... Link to post Share on other sites
JHS Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Do some of you guys/gals know each other in real life? How do ES and SG know what each other look like? They have posted pics in their profiles but at present, neither are visible. Maybe I'm doing something wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Does anyone know why I can't look at photos? I get an error message... My pictures are in links (that I cannot take down) that are included in the "average weight of posters" thread. They are also in my album that my contacts can see. I'll add you. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I can't see SG's current pics but in some of her past pics, she was more BigBonedW than ES. I've NEVER, even at my biggest and highest body fat, been as big as the pictures ES posted a couple days ago. I'm pretty sure you didn't even see those pictures, because you wouldn't be able to say that in good conscience. Then again, everything you say is....nevermind. Edit - But I would also like to add that this pissing match wouldn't have started had SG not been deliberately cruel with ES and commented on her weight. There you go with the "deliberately cruel" accusations. Attack, attack, attack me, it's all you do. ES too. It's pretty twisted. Don't you see the irony in everything you've posted about me in this thread?? Why not step into one of SG's thread and suggest she too deserved whatever awful thing one of her ex's did to her and that it's because she's crazy and it was her fault that it happened? Well, you both already did that in my breakup thread, so... Thankfully all that vitriol was deleted, justifiably so because *I* am not crazy and it wasn't *my* fault that he was an alcoholic - despite what you two said otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I can't post pictures online because of what I do (teaching/Education) but I'm sexier than all of you. FTR. ES invited people to look at her pictures, which to me is inviting a critique. I don't think SG was criticizing ES for her own ego purposes, but rather SG is just a naturally critical person who's lost weight herself and probably dresses strategically. I'd never even think to say clothes made you look big, but I don't dress strategically for weight. However, the problem is you're never allowed to criticize or even analyze anyone's looks in our society without seeming rude. Personally, I find this odd, but I'm half-Asian. I walk into my grandma's house, and all my aunts are commenting on my appearance left and right, and, frankly, when I lived in Korea and Japan (well the countryside in Japan more than Tokyo which has become very Westernized), this was not uncommon either. It's just a normal thing to talk about. I was also in modeling for a time in my teens, so perhaps I'm just immune. Even re-reading those comments SG made, I don't get what the fuss is. ES started talking about her weight; why are we supposed to tiptoe around the subject then? As far as her exBF goes. . . ES always looks for exBFs faults after relationships fail. That's a bigger issue than 15 pounds, real or imagined. To the bolded: probably, but when you're on the receiving end of what you perceive to be an insult (and truthfully, she's not wrong to have taken it that way - I caught the knee comment too the first time I read it, and had an "oh snap!" moment upon reading the BBW comparison ), natural instinct is not to stop and analyze the life journey of the speaker; it's to respond. That's what ES did. Granted her post was waay more in-your-face that what SG said but they both fall under the "Sh*tty Things to Say" category. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) To the bolded: probably, but when you're on the receiving end of what you perceive to be an insult (and truthfully, she's not wrong to have taken it that way - I caught the knee comment too the first time I read it, and had an "oh snap!" moment upon reading the BBW comparison ), natural instinct is not to stop and analyze the life journey of the speaker; it's to respond. That's what ES did. Granted her post was waay more in-your-face that what SG said but they both fall under the "Sh*tty Things to Say" category. If SG had just randomly said that, I'd agree with you, but how could ES expect not to get comments on her appearance (critical comments as well) when SHE brought it up? (Which is I imagine how things went with her exBF if he mentioned anything.) And SG's thing sounded like an honest assessment and some constructive criticism to me. An insult is intended to injure, and I don't think that was the goal. Is it polite? Eh, depends on your culture, but not typically . . . but that's the problem with bringing this up. If you consider it an area where any sort of criticism is impolite, so IMO it's MORE impolite to bring it up. In terms of ES's response, I agree it was her ego being hurt, but it wasn't an "oh, snap!" kneejerk moment. She spent time carefully deciding how to respond (she said so), and that was her choice. I don't think SG meant harm. I think ES did. And, at any rate, I think the whole conversation is a bad one. Don't criticize your looks and invite people to look at your pictures if you don't want to hear bad things as well as good things. So, if you make a post where you do so, expect some criticism and comments that may bother your ego. Otherwise, it's just a completely rude, disingenuous, and disgusting conversation where you're asking people to fawn all over you and validate your ego. Edited August 11, 2011 by zengirl Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don’t think SG was being intentionally hurtful either, especially with the BBW comment now that that’s been explained ad nauseam. But, I still see how the entirety of her comments, made in a thread where the original post wasn’t an open invitation to criticize or rate the OP’s looks, can be considered insults. Intentionally made or not. Agree to disagree, I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 But, I still see how the entirety of her comments, made in a thread where the original post wasn’t an open invitation to criticize or rate the OP’s looks, can be considered insults. Intentionally made or not. Agree to disagree, I suppose. I agree. It certainly was not an invitation to critique ES's appearance. It was only to ask if comments about losing weight were hurtful and how she could deal with them in the future if they came up. I don't know who first went on the criticizing bender, but the thread became extremely off-topic when it got to that point. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don’t think SG was being intentionally hurtful either, especially with the BBW comment now that that’s been explained ad nauseam. But, I still see how the entirety of her comments, made in a thread where the original post wasn’t an open invitation to criticize or rate the OP’s looks, can be considered insults. Intentionally made or not. Agree to disagree, I suppose. Of course I wasn't being intentionally hurtful. And while I agree that the opening post didn't open the door to criticism (and she did not receive any at that point), when she later posted pictures of herself and said basically, "See, I'm fine," she did open the door...at which point I said baaaaad clothing choices. She could LOOK 15 pounds lighter (what she wants to lose), just by picking different outfits. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don’t think SG was being intentionally hurtful either, especially with the BBW comment now that that’s been explained ad nauseam. But, I still see how the entirety of her comments, made in a thread where the original post wasn’t an open invitation to criticize or rate the OP’s looks, can be considered insults. Intentionally made or not. Agree to disagree, I suppose. Of course I wasn't being intentionally hurtful. And while I agree that the opening post didn't open the door to criticism (and she did not receive any at that point), when she later posted pictures of herself and said basically, "See, I'm fine," she did open the door...at which point I said baaaaad clothing choices. She could LOOK 15 pounds lighter (what she wants to lose), just by picking different outfits. *shrug* Yeah. . . that's kind of what I thought. From the OP: no, Lexi, and I don't disagree with that. And to be fair, that wasn't really about what she actually weighed. From when she said: "Hey look at my pictures!" . . . different story. So, if you saw that post as well and still didn't see it as an invitation to look at her pictures and comment, well, then, yes, agree to disagree. I don't see what other purpose it could serve, except the disingenuous, gross purpose it likely did serve that makes me want to say something meaner than anything in this thread, just because it's so damn gross to put people in that positon. (But I don't because I'm not actually a mean person.) At that point, some would say the only polite thing to do would be to stay quiet (if you think she does look overweight) or say, "No, no, no, you're fine" (really or disingenuously), which is likely what ES was looking for, as it always is when people do such things. And that's kind of what I think is gross. Way grosser than telling her what you think of her looks (when she says to look at her photos!). I cannot stand when people (almost always women) do that whole "criticize myself so you'll make me feel better" thing. It's gross. If you don't want real feedback, don't invite it. It's not like SG said anything really biting. She just gave a basic analysis (the pictures were down by the time I got back, so I cannot comment on whether I agree or not). Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don't think SG meant harm. I think ES did. And, at any rate, I think the whole conversation is a bad one. Don't criticize your looks and invite people to look at your pictures if you don't want to hear bad things as well as good things. So, if you make a post where you do so, expect some criticism and comments that may bother your ego. Otherwise, it's just a completely rude, disingenuous, and disgusting conversation where you're asking people to fawn all over you and validate your ego. I agree completely. If I hurt her feelings, it was unintentional, whereas her comments were designed to hurt me (good thing she failed). Perhaps I was impolite to answer her questions honestly. But then again, why present a loaded subject and get upset at the responses? The way it went down was like this: ES: "My ex was looking at BBW porn." Cracker: "BBW means Big Boned Women." Star: "If BBW means Big Boned Women, then that fits ES (aka "He was looking at porn that looks like his GF, what's wrong with that?") ES: "I am NOT a BBW, Star!!! I am overweight, and my BF's comments made me feel bad. I know I have a problem, and I never exercise. If someone tells me to lose weight or diet I shut down and don't do it. Btw, does this skirt make my butt look big? I want to lose at least 15 pounds so it fits better." Star: "That skirt is not flattering on you. It hits at a really bad spot on your leg and because it's poofy it makes you look even bigger. Pick out something else that is more flattering to your figure." ES: "Well, this skirt fits me better than it would fit you and your dreaded figure!! My body is skinnier and more appealing than yours!" Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 You said: Granted, the criticism itself is all in the tone, but this is clearly critical and sarcastic. You are not truly glad. The entire post was ironical in nature, including the bit about not posting threads. The hypocrisy in this thread is rampant. Notice how SG went on the major defensive when criticized about her weight and now she's claiming dishonesty from me and that I didn't see her pics (think Hawaii). And yet with her, she's being "honest" with ES. Come on, if there's any dishonesty, it's SG. zengirl, I have no idea why you keep at ES either and defend SG. Neither one of you are looking terrible secure in this thread which is fascinating considering how secure the two of you claim to be. If anything, it smacks of serious jealousy issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hey TBF, do you have any advice for ES? Or are you, as usual, just here to criticize and attack the way a select few post in ES's threads? Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 The entire post was ironical in nature, including the bit about not posting threads. The hypocrisy in this thread is rampant. Notice how SG went on the major defensive when criticized about her weight and now she's claiming dishonesty from me and that I didn't see her pics (think Hawaii). And yet with her, she's being "honest" with ES. Come on, if there's any dishonesty, it's SG. zengirl, I have no idea why you keep at ES either and defend SG. Neither one of you are looking terrible secure in this thread which is fascinating considering how secure the two of you claim to be. If anything, it smacks of serious jealousy issues. Huh? Who am I jealous of? I'd never claim to be perfect, but I'm probably one of the least jealous/envious people you'll ever meet. I don't think I "keep at" ES. Nor do I always defend SG. I generally state my opinion . . . and I do that across the board, similarly, in every thread, with every poster. SG and I have certainly gotten into it before, over subjects where we disagree. Here, I don't think she did anything objectionable. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I have no idea why you keep at ES either and defend SG. And I don't know why you keep defending ES and bash SG. Would you like to confess about something? We won't judge, I promise. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hey TBF, do you have any advice for ES? Or are you, as usual, just here to criticize and attack the way a select few post in ES's threads?Don't like it when someone turns your tactic back on you? Strange dat...hmmm? Huh? Who am I jealous of? I'd never claim to be perfect, but I'm probably one of the least jealous/envious people you'll ever meet.You have claimed to be a very secure person and yet, secure people don't continually abuse other members. If not jealousy/envy, might it be insecurity? I don't think I "keep at" ES. Nor do I always defend SG. I generally state my opinion . . . and I do that across the board, similarly, in every thread, with every poster. SG and I have certainly gotten into it before, over subjects where we disagree. Here, I don't think she did anything objectionable.Right. In every thread, it's the same ol' group of people all stomping on ES of which you're one of them. Now it's my turn to come back at you people and push back at the bullying. No matter what ES does, it's wrong. No matter what SG does, it's acceptable. What's with you people, enabling each other's abusive ways? And I don't know why you keep defending ES and bash SG. Would you like to confess about something? We won't judge, I promise.Strange how I don't appreciate the consistent abuse heaped on other members. Strange how I only defend ES once SG and others abuse her. So what's your story about why you abuse ES? Link to post Share on other sites
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