Sugarkane Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 It just feels like someone screws you over, then you hurt like hell and more. Then you eventually heal only to meet the next person. Then they screw you over aswell. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 With healthy boundaries, they can only screw you over a little and you see it coming so it's not such a big deal. Also, having been through it many times before, the emotional impact is 'meh' rather than . These are some observations I've had. Perhaps the perspective is a function of age, IDK. It's really no big deal anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
dumpedandsore Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 With healthy boundaries, they can only screw you over a little and you see it coming so it's not such a big deal. Also, having been through it many times before, the emotional impact is 'meh' rather than . These are some observations I've had. Perhaps the perspective is a function of age, IDK. It's really no big deal anymore. i am a cynic when it comes to love these days. No matter what i do or try, it just doesnt work for me. I am always used, dumped and left in the lurch like some trash.. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 (edited) If you give and love within your own boundaries of health, you cannot be 'used'. Your efforts are proactive and within defined limits. By communicating those boundaries, you can teach other people how to treat you, or provide them with warning information. I have found that healthy boundaries impels the Hoovers to move on. The dearth of their presence is not a negative. No loss occurred. It was like they never existed. ETA I'll give an example of one simple boundary I have. Whether friend or lover, I expect people to afford me the same proactive interest and care which I voluntarily and generously extend to them. If I don't experience it, then they are disconnected. What I give them, I give freely. If it is not returned, it isn't. Their existence and being a beneficiary of that love and care ends. Life goes on. I feel positive about the love and care given because it is a positive. Edited August 9, 2011 by carhill Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I think next time you will know when it is not going anywhere, and you will be the one who pull the trigger. And even if the other person end things with you, you still will be a much better gf/bf this time. I know I will, so once it done, you will walk away, easier, and less regret. You will know that just like last time, you ll find somebody else, somebody even better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 You become what you think. If you think that all love is in pursuit of failure, then don't be surprised when every relationship ends up in the crapper. Yes, relationships fail. You don't always stay in love with the first person you meet. But to have such a negative attitude towards relationships is a fault of a weak minded person who can't accept that you sometimes fail in life. Get over it. Until you change your mindset, you will continue (if you even try anymore) to seek out unhealthy individuals who will use you and dump you. You will have no idea what a healthy relationship should feel like, so being treated like crap seems to be okay with you since you feel all love sucks. You'll make it this self-fulfilling outcome. You think relationships are worthless + you date worthless people = you prove yourself right. Link to post Share on other sites
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