tony3000 Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 I was dating this girl for a month or so. I met her where she works. We were great together but I think she got scared and pulled back. We talked a little about it and it's pretty much over now. I'm fine with it, but there is something about her.. I can't get her out of my mind. I still go to where she works cuz it's my favorite place to eat. Our conversations have been friendly. When i was there a couple of weeks ago she flirted with me the whole time.. Touching me every time she walked by. Even asked me out, but then cancelled. We text messaged once in a while after, i kinda told her how i felt, but didn't pour my heart out.. Well one time i sent her a text message just to see how she was doing.. Well, apparently her new guy was with her when i sent it. I guess she's been seeing him for a week or so. He's already very jealous and told one of my friends that i better stop texting her. She then came up and asked what he said. My buddy said I can't believe your dating that guy.. My friend basically laughed in his face. This guys a real punk. I'm 33 she's 21 by the way. He's young to and says stuff like YO YO , " Ya know what i'm sayin" stuff like that... I hope she recognizes that his behavior early on is a warning sign that he might be possessive and abusive.. It's only been a week and is warning other guys. I'm afraid of what i'll do if he tries anything with me. I guess he hangs out there every night where she works.(loser) I'm a blackbelt in different areas of martial arts and really don't want to hurt the kid. Help please, I need advice on this whole situation... and still want to date her.. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 He's already very jealous and told one of my friends that i better stop texting her. How does this make him very jealous? How does this mean he could be possessive and abusive? How would you feel if the girl you just started dating was receiving text messages from a recent ex? Maybe there's more about this "punk" that you haven't said, but based only on what you've written here I don't see how you come to these conclusions. I'm afraid of what i'll do if he tries anything with me. What are you afraid of? Can't you control yourself? Could this be why she got scared and pulled back? If the two of you are finished then sorry mate, but she's free to make her own decisions about who she sees and she's free to make her own mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tony3000 Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 I agree with you to a certain extent. I treated her well, and yes i have self control.. Obviously he doesn't. He doesn't have the right after a week to start warning other people not to talk to her. He's probably has some insecurity issues. Anyway, she is the one who said I could call her anytime. Hell, if i just started seeing someone, I would never do anything like that even if it was an ex boyfriend. It's up to her to tell me to stop talking to her(by the way, she hasn't).. I've seen behavior in people like this and believe me it doesn't usually end up good. Thanx for your reply.. Link to post Share on other sites
R_E_D_needsadvice Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 i was somewhat dating a girl for about a month. she did the same thing like your ex did and backed out. from what i have been hearing is that she is already talking to someone else. some sorta thug that her mom doesnt want her to hang around with. when i ask her if she is talking to anyone she never replies to my messages. but now she asked me to go to prom with her two weeks ago and she never has contacted me up until i went to the place she works at and got something to eat yesterday. now she asked me if it was ok if her friend and her date could ride with us. i treated the girl really good, but i guess she must have lost interest in me. what is it that girls see in thugs? i have been trying to find someone else but for some odd reason i want to try things again with her. she kinda gave me false hope when she asked me to prom. i kinda thought that could be my second chance. but it looks like she wants her friends there with her and that kinda spoiled my plans of being alone with her. do you know why we want to go out with these kinda girls? knowing that we will probably not get anywhere with them. keep me posted on your situation and ill do the same. i really dont see much in the future for us tho! Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Tony3000 I think it is important in your situation to realize the age difference and the levels of maturity. She is still pretty young and probably isn't really ready to settle down for the long haul with anyone. I think it would be best if you didn't contact her. Not because of her boyfriend and his behaviors, but because you have already said that you are worried if he starts anything with you, and that you don't want to hurt him. He is young, he is foolish ... but it isn't your right to put him in his place. Your relationship is over, you can't jump into her new relationship (to save her) unless she asks for your help .. and apparently she isn't. For whatever reason she is attracted to the guy. That is her choice and her life. I am sorry, I wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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