sad&stresd Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 (edited) i am a 20yr old grl i hav a bf who is 23 i hope u've reaad my 1st entry anyways i had anothr prob & hope tht smone here cn solve it during the tym tht my bf ws vry bsy in the office he did nt hav tym to text me evn once & we hardly talked during the day during tht tym i met smone while chatting onlyn the othr guy bcame a vry gd frnd & he ws much much cuter thn my bf & i was tired of hearing ppl tell me hw bad my bf looked & tht i deserved better my own mom knew abt my bf & hd seen his pic evn she kept telling me tht cldn't i find smone better coz this one looked like a thief & a pickpocket this othr guy & i tlked almst throughout the day & bcame quite close we shared evry thought- gd/ bad/ frank...... he knew tht i hd a bf bt still he proposed i tld him no bt he had bcome a habit by thn i couldn't stop talking to him & neithr cld he so he sd he'd wait for my bf to leave he sd we'd gt married after 5 yrs..........& we made huge plans into the future during this tym whenevr i broachd the subjct of future to my bf......he'd say tht he'd w8 till i finishd my studies & thn he wld marry & introduce me to his wife i grew closr & closr to this othr guy nw my bf's back with a bang & i dnt wanna hurt the othr guy wht do i do? plz help me smone i dnt wht the othr guy thinking tht i used him as a toy i tried to stop tlking to him & evn gav him the option of blocking my profile frm evrywhere coz i dint wanna hurt him bt he kept cmin bck bt nw wht do i do??????????? plz help plz............ Edited August 9, 2011 by sad&stresd Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 It would help if you'd write your post in plain english instead of text speak. I feel you on this text speak is for your PHONE it doesn't convey any real emotion what so ever, it's a sound bit not a conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Wow, I'm confused. Are you saying this other guy has proposed to you and yet he is already married? The reason you cite for cheating on your bf is because he didn't have time to text you? Seriously? I suggest you lose both of these guys and get a plant. If you don't kill it, get a dog. I truly don't kow how you made it thru the first few lines of this post. i can't imagine having a real R with anyone that choose to communicate with me like this. Wouldn't text I think the question should have been why not call me instead. Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I actually (though annoying) understood it. Perhaps, having teenagers helps.? I have a 18yrs old and I hate when he sends me the same thing LoL It drives me crazy. I always tell him that true words have meaning and to understand someone's intent it's better to fully understand what they are telling you. He just reply's with SMH... that's why I love him. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 a)i am a 20yr old grl b)during the tym tht my bf ws vry bsy in the office he did nt hav tym to text me evn once & we hardly talked during the day c) he ws much much cuter thn my bf & i was tired of hearing ppl tell me hw bad my bf looked & tht i deserved better my own mom knew abt my bf & hd seen his pic evn she kept telling me tht cldn't i find smone better coz this one looked like a thief & a pickpocket d)whenevr i broachd the subjct of future to my bf......he'd say tht he'd w8 till i finishd my studies & thn he wld marry & introduce me to his wife e)bt nw wht do i do??????????? plz help plz............ A) your age says a lot about your thought process. B)So you decided that someone who is working hard needs to stop that work and entertain you? What do you do for a living? C)You base being a good, hard working person on how someone looks. Hmmmm, Look up Ted Bundy. Listening to others tell you that looks are important speaks to not only their immaturity but yours for listening, that includes your mother. :eek:Maybe you do and maybe you don't deserve better...what do you look like? D)So did you mean that your BF wants you to finish your education(gasp....the horror of such a request), then he would marry you and introduce you as his wife or does he have a wife he needs to introduce you too? E) What should you do....go to school, get a good education, find a job, learn to be more responsible and don't get into a relationship until you can go a full day without hearing from your partner while they are at work. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Ditto Bent. I can't stand this generations way of communicating with improper spelling and grammar. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 A) your age says a lot about your thought process. B)So you decided that someone who is working hard needs to stop that work and entertain you? What do you do for a living? C)You base being a good, hard working person on how someone looks. Hmmmm, Look up Ted Bundy. Listening to others tell you that looks are important speaks to not only their immaturity but yours for listening, that includes your mother. :eek:Maybe you do and maybe you don't deserve better...what do you look like? D)So did you mean that your BF wants you to finish your education(gasp....the horror of such a request), then he would marry you and introduce you as his wife or does he have a wife he needs to introduce you too? E) What should you do....go to school, get a good education, find a job, learn to be more responsible and don't get into a relationship until you can go a full day without hearing from your partner while they are at work. I agree, particularly with the bolded. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 apologise for the spelling and grammer but had very little time to write had to rush off to college i wasn't asking for help about my bf but was asking what to do about the other guy i know my bf is busy but it wasn't tht we never talked only when he was in office we hadn't talked properly for almost 2 weeks and what my bf used to say was that he would wait for me to finish my education & then he would get married to someone else & then introduce me to her because there is the codition of his family wanting a dowry Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Listening to others tell you that looks are important speaks to not only their immaturity but yours for listening, that includes your mother. by the way i really do not appreciate your badmouthing my mother Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 in plain english instead of text speak. i am a 20yr old grl i have a bf who is 23 i hope u've read my 1st entry anyways i had another problem & hope that someone here can solve it during the time that my bf was very busy in the office he did not have time to text me even once & we hardly talked during the day(in almost 2 weeks) during that time i met someone while chatting online the other guy became a very good friend & he was much much cuter than my bf & i was tired of hearing people telling me how bad my bf looked & that i deserved better my own mom knew about my bf & had seen his picture even she kept telling me that couldn't i find someone better because this one looked like a thief & a pickpocket this other guy & i talked almost throughout the day & became quite close we shared every thought- good/ bad/ frank...... he knew that i had a bf but still he proposed i told him no but he had become a habit by then i couldn't stop talking to him & neither could he so he said he'd wait for my bf to leave he said we'd gt married after 5 yrs..........& we made huge plans into the future during this time whenever i broached the subjct of future to my bf......he'd say that he'd wait till i finished my studies & then he would marry someone & introduce me to his wife i grew closer & closer to this other guy now my bf's back with a bang & i don't wanna hurt the other guy what do i do? please help me someone i don't want the other guy thinking that i used him as a toy i tried to stop talking to him & even gave him the option of blocking my profile from everywhere because i din't want to hurt him but he kept coming back but now what do i do??????????? plz help plz............ Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 by the way i really do not appreciate your badmouthing my mother I repeated what you said about your mother. Her advice based on looks is an immature view of human life....period. Whether you appreciate that fact is of no concern to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I repeated what you said about your mother. Her advice based on looks is an immature view of human life....period. Whether you appreciate that fact is of no concern to me. forget it i would rather that you give me a solution for my main problem what to do aboout the other guy or my bf anyways the main problem between me and my bf was that i think i fell in love with the fact that he could love me so much because i met my bf the same way that i met this other guy.......while chatting on the net..........& then we started talking & when he decided to come here there was the anticipation of his coming here but when we met there was no chemistry he felt it i guess........ but not me or maybe i am too immature to expect sparks please reply Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 forget it i would rather that you give me a solution for my main problem what to do aboout the other guy or my bf anyways the main problem between me and my bf was that i think i fell in love with the fact that he could love me so much because i met my bf the same way that i met this other guy.......while chatting on the net..........& then we started talking & when he decided to come here there was the anticipation of his coming here but when we met there was no chemistry he felt it i guess........ but not me or maybe i am too immature to expect sparks please reply I repeat: E) What should you do....go to school, get a good education, find a job, learn to be more responsible and don't get into a relationship until you can go a full day without hearing from your partner while they are at work. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I repeat: i realized that ok....... but when i tried to break off from the relationship my bf wouldn't let me he said that he wouldn't mind not being too serious right now & would like to remain friends and lovers but then he gets angry sometimes about the fact that why do i get so uppity about the fact that we are serious..... how do i tell him that its best if we break it off i'm not comfortable being his lover he won't listen & kinda gets angry and says that since he is only asking to do things with his gf & not someone else.......then what's the problem Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 i realized that ok....... but when i tried to break off from the relationship my bf wouldn't let me he said that he wouldn't mind not being too serious right now & would like to remain friends and lovers but then he gets angry sometimes about the fact that why do i get so uppity about the fact that we are serious..... how do i tell him that its best if we break it off i'm not comfortable being his lover he won't listen & kinda gets angry and says that since he is only asking to do things with his gf & not someone else.......then what's the problem :eek::eek:This is what I mean by maturity. How can someone not let a grown person do what they want to do? Can you explain that to me? If you WANT, the key word being want, who the hell can stop you from interacting with someone you DON'T want to interact with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 fine......maybe i'm not mature enough but how is telling me that i'm immature.......of any use to me??? how is that supposed to help me make or break my relationship??? i care about him & i keep thinking about how much this will hurt him he's been with me for 7 months....... & i wouldn't want to hurt him Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 fine......maybe i'm not mature enough but how is telling me that i'm immature.......of any use to me??? how is that supposed to help me make or break my relationship??? i care about him & i keep thinking about how much this will hurt him he's been with me for 7 months....... & i wouldn't want to hurt him YOU are the only one capable of breaking away from any situation that you find yourself in that you don't want to be in. I think you are right where you want to be. Instead of thinking about hurting him, why not think about the controlling anger you spoke of that he has. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sad&stresd Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 why not think about the controlling anger you spoke of that he has. his main problem is that when he gets angry at every little thing he'll say whatever comes to his mind......even insult me but later on he'll apologize profusely is that bad or normal? Link to post Share on other sites
David Cain Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 YOU are the only one capable of breaking away from any situation that you find yourself in that you don't want to be in. Agreed..... Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 his main problem is that when he gets angry at every little thing he'll say whatever comes to his mind......even insult me but later on he'll apologize profusely is that bad or normal? That's not attractive and it's not normal. We all get angry and say hurtful things but to constantly insult someone and then apologize profusely, to have anger issues, for him "not to let you leave"....sounds like a BAD situation. Sounds like an abusive situation: he is controlling, he puts you down then apologizes and acts like he loves you so much, you seem not to really have any power over yourself in the situation allowing it to be easy for someone like that to take over, he controls you by not allowing you to leave....that's not healthy. I'd suggest you not worry about hurting him, 7 months is not a lifetime, it's not 7 years, you sound young, you aren't married, the longer you stay the harder it will be. I suggest you tell him you don't want to hurt him but you need to end the relationship and then leave him alone, and put some distance between you. Tell him things are done and you'd like some time alone for a while so he shouldn't contact you. He can yell, cry, scream and be upset but he'll get over it. It makes no sense to carry on in a relationship you don't want to be in because of fear. Have you spoken to friends about this? Family? Maybe you should and get their perspective as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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