Double-sided Abuse issue

[Trishi]

This is not me, but a friend whom I got into a horrible discussion with just yesterday... She confessed to me that her boyfriend of 3 month had begun mentally abusing her - Cursing at her, calling her names, laughing at any misfortune that befalls her, ect.

 

So, already here, we have a small problem. She decided to seek me out. And truth to be told, I'm a horrible friend. I'm not cut out for this sort of thing, so... thinks went wrong, fast. I tried remaining calm, and ask her what normally happened. So apparently, he have done this for little more than a month. And two weeks ago, she started retaliating, by hitting him, kicking him, scratching him, ect. And that's when things started going the wrong way. I agreed with her, yeah, she probably shouldn't stay with that guy, but why the hell did she use violence?

 

I have been sufficiently subjected to both types, but no matter how I look at it, physical abuse is worse than mental. Subjective view, perhaps, but from what she told me, I have a hard time taking her side here. She says he doesn't even defend himself, and that he actually have bruises... It sounds surreal, coming from my friend, because she may be a tough girl, but I have never seen her get violent before. She excuses it by saying "he is pushing her", but at the same time tells me that he is too stressed, and apparently can't handle her in those situations... but isn't that the same?

 

I haven't been able to get in touch with her since, and she forbid me from telling this to our other friends... all guys. And that's the problem. I know I can't ask them, because I know they would get violent. They act defensive towards each other, and things wouldn't end pretty if they caught wind of this, but I really need to hear some other point of views on this...

 

So in short, my friend is in a relationship with someone who pratises mental abuse on her, while she retaliates with physical abuse.

 

I agree, his behavior is not okay, and if she hates is as much as she says she does, she should leave him. But I really can't make myself feel pity for her when this is her reaction... Is that wrong of me? I really want to support her, but what she have done is, from my point of view, not only wrong, but outright illegal, isn't it?