sally4sara Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Yeah, wow. I have to agree. I know. I'm picturing her and one of her female friends out to lunch together with the bill sitting between them, time just ticking by; looking around for some man to come to their rescue before they have to arm wrestle to decide which of them has to be "the man" and pull out their wallet. Or in this case would they engage in competitive manicuring? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Hmm, I wonder if you and I know the same people. In this particular instance, the man cheats -- perhaps to not feel emasculated, since the wife controls the money. Not all men that live this way, cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Self respect? Yeah I have self respect and I expect a man to pay for a dinner date. This has never been a problem nor an issue, likely because the men I do date have zero hang ups over who is suppose to pay or misconceptions of women in general. They want to pay for the date because they are estatic that I agreed to give them a chance and opportunity to take me on a date. It is mutual:p Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 The key issue here is "expectation." What is wrong with someone wanting to take care of someone else? Nothing. What's wrong with expecting someone to take care of you? Everything. (Unless you're a pet or small child.) Hey, hey! Those pets and children don't deserve a free ride! To the salt mines with them! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Personally, I rather (and I have) pay for pleasure of dinner with a friend rather than for a woman I will likely never speak to again. Well what are you going out on dates with women that you will never see again after the first date ?.. isn't the best expectation that there will be more dates ? I don't think going to dinner with a girl that you are hoping to get a connection with and eventually have a relationship with is the same as going to dinner with a friend. Your argument is that they are the same.. and they are not in the least close to being the same... So saying that a woman should pay her way on a date because friends pay their own way when going to dinner is a big fail. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 No need to slam you, just inform me prior to the beginning of said date so I can rescind my invitation. Nothing annoys me more than a woman staring and the ceiling with a dumb smile on her face when the check comes. Even though I think the person that does the asking out, should do the paying, on dates I went on I always brought money and offered to pay for the bill or even my half. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 That is fine for you. I wouldn't expect to pay for someone or expect them to pay for me if it wasn't with the intention of a romantic date. Different strokes. I don't expect anyone to pay for me under ANY circumstances. However, I appreciate when they do. That is my point of view. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Self respect? Yeah I have self respect and I expect a man to pay for a dinner date. This has never been a problem nor an issue, likely because the men I do date have zero hang ups over who is suppose to pay or misconceptions of women in general. They want to pay for the date because they are estatic that I agreed to give them a chance and opportunity to take me on a date. It is mutual:p There is nothing wrong with this. If the guys she is going out with are ok with it. Than I don't see an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I don't expect anyone to pay for me under ANY circumstances. However, I appreciate when they do. That is my point of view. Well we have different opinions. If you ask out a woman I think YOU should pay, if she asks you out, I think SHE should pay. Just my outlook. Link to post Share on other sites
ptp Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Yeah, wow. I have to agree. Then women who expect their meal to be paid for by someone else have no self respect? I suspected as much. Thanks for confirming. I have to agree with both of you here. It shouldn't be an expectation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Well what are you going out on dates with women that you will never see again after the first date ?.. isn't the best expectation that there will be more dates ? I don't think going to dinner with a girl that you are hoping to get a connection with and eventually have a relationship with is the same as going to dinner with a friend. Your argument is that they are the same.. and they are not in the least close to being the same... So saying that a woman should pay her way on a date because friends pay their own way when going to dinner is a big fail. I don't know anyone that pays for their "friends". I mean maybe if its a bday or something special thats different. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Self respect? Yeah I have self respect and I expect a man to pay for a dinner date. This has never been a problem nor an issue, likely because the men I do date have zero hang ups over who is suppose to pay or misconceptions of women in general. They want to pay for the date because they are estatic that I agreed to give them a chance and opportunity to take me on a date. It is mutual:p Maybe this is my problem. Enough accept my dinner invites that I really am not ecstatic that they accepted my invitation. I am really more interested in seeing if they are a compatible partner and have no issue moving on the next one if they are not. I just don't feel the need to spend money on them if they are not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Maybe this is my problem. Enough accept my dinner invites that I really am not ecstatic that they accepted my invitation. I am really more interested in seeing if they are a compatible partner and have no issue moving on the next one if they are not. I just don't feel the need to spend money on them if they are not. Than it would probably be wise on your part to talk about it before the date. Ask her what her feeling is on the topic. OR don't go to dinner. Go to get a coffee, something cheap or free. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 No need to slam you, just inform me prior to the beginning of said date so I can rescind my invitation. Nothing annoys me more than a woman staring and the ceiling with a dumb smile on her face when the check comes. No worries Sanman, after reading your misconceptions of women in general, you could have a 12 inch dick and a 100,000 dollar monthly wage, and I would have zero interest in dating you. Men should pay for dates, period. If the relationship becomes exclusive, I say go for it, let the woman pay for it. The men I date know I have the means to pay for my date and 12 other dates in the room if necessary, they choose to pay, and I have no problem being treated like a lady should be when in pursuit of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Men should pay for dates, period. If the relationship becomes exclusive, I say go for it, let the woman pay for it. Now this makes no sense. So you would rather some guy snow you into thinking he's all about throwing cash at you UNTIL you are exclusive, and then suddenly close his wallet? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 This has never been a problem nor an issue, likely because the men I do date have zero hang ups over who is suppose to pay or misconceptions of women in general. They want to pay for the date because they are ecstatic that I agreed to give them a chance and opportunity to take me on a date. It is mutual:p I don't know if men pay because you agree to go out or not.. that seems a bit weird, maybe your thought is getting lost in your words some.. I always paid for dates because I wanted to put my best foot forward and that is a start on being gentlemanly... so is opening doors and planning the night out.. Courting a woman seems to be lost in today's generation.. Look at some of the bitter guys out there.. they haven't a clue what it takes to court and land a woman but they complain that it should be equal and that is crazy.. life/love/marriage isn't equal and we all play roles.. we just have to know what roles to play in order to be happy an successful in our relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 No worries Sanman, after reading your misconceptions of women in general, you could have a 12 inch dick and a 100,000 dollar monthly wage, and I would have zero interest in dating you. Men should pay for dates, period. If the relationship becomes exclusive, I say go for it, let the woman pay for it. The men I date know I have the means to pay for my date and 12 other dates in the room if necessary, they choose to pay, and I have no problem being treated like a lady should be when in pursuit of a relationship. I know alot of people that feel this way, men and women alike. I recently went away with my boyfriend and I offered to pay for my own plane ticket, he wouldn't hear of it. He thinks paying is something, as a man, he should do and was insulted that I offered. So if LoveandSuch dates men that feel the same way she does, more power to her. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Maybe this is my problem. Enough accept my dinner invites that I really am not ecstatic that they accepted my invitation. I am really more interested in seeing if they are a compatible partner and have no issue moving on the next one if they are not. I just don't feel the need to spend money on them if they are not. You should not be accepting of dinner dates you are not ecstatic about! What you are referring to are hook ups, why not just take them to a bar for drinks. If they are accepting of that, then you will not be worrying about spending your money on doomed prospects. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I don't know if men pay because you agree to go out or not.. that seems a bit weird, maybe your thought is getting lost in your words some.. I always paid for dates because I wanted to put my best foot forward and that is a start on being gentlemanly... so is opening doors and planning the night out.. Courting a woman seems to be lost in today's generation.. Look at some of the bitter guys out there.. they haven't a clue what it takes to court and land a woman but they complain that it should be equal and that is crazy.. life/love/marriage isn't equal and we all play roles.. we just have to know what roles to play in order to be happy an successful in our relationships. I think a man courting is important and todays younger men don't know their ass from their elbow on that topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 By the way.. anybody know how much it costs to have a babysitter sit your kid for an evening while you take your date out ? .. more than the meal.. Any time I ever dated a woman with kids I always also paid for the sitter... A woman getting all dolled up for an evening is also more expensive than a guy has to deal with.. When I was single it cost me nothing to get ready, but most dates might spend 30-50 bucks getting ready.. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Well what are you going out on dates with women that you will never see again after the first date ?.. isn't the best expectation that there will be more dates ? I don't think going to dinner with a girl that you are hoping to get a connection with and eventually have a relationship with is the same as going to dinner with a friend. Your argument is that they are the same.. and they are not in the least close to being the same... So saying that a woman should pay her way on a date because friends pay their own way when going to dinner is a big fail. We can disagree here. I have no expectations on a first date other than I will meet a new person and get to know them. I am not hoping for anything until I know the girl better. I would hope that she would like to know me as well. We are mutually getting to know each other. I'm saying we all pay our own way and in many cultures you do so while dating as well. I think the whole concept that you pay for a woman is ridiculous. Especially in this day and age where she likely is dating others and picking from her options as are you. I have no issues paying for my gf (though she does not expect it and is okay with splitting dating costs) or my good friends as I have known them for decades and they are worth paying for. I think the whole American concept is upside down. It is treasuring a stranger over those closest to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 By the way.. anybody know how much it costs to have a babysitter sit your kid for an evening while you take your date out ? .. more than the meal.. Any time I ever dated a woman with kids I always also paid for the sitter... A woman getting all dolled up for an evening is also more expensive than a guy has to deal with.. When I was single it cost me nothing to get ready, but most dates might spend 30-50 bucks getting ready.. aw thats so sweet. I don't have kids but I'm sure women that did would appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CatNtheHat Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 We can disagree here. I have no expectations on a first date other than I will meet a new person and get to know them. I am not hoping for anything until I know the girl better. I would hope that she would like to know me as well. We are mutually getting to know each other. I'm saying we all pay our own way and in many cultures you do so while dating as well. I think the whole concept that you pay for a woman is ridiculous. Especially in this day and age where she likely is dating others and picking from her options as are you. I have no issues paying for my gf (though she does not expect it and is okay with splitting dating costs) or my good friends as I have known them for decades and they are worth paying for. I think the whole American concept is upside down. It is treasuring a stranger over those closest to you.\ the bottom line is if you don't want to spend YOUR money on a "stranger" than don't go to dinners or other things that you don't want to pay for. Go for a walk, or for coffee until you know someone better and their "paying for date" style. Gotta say you should like a cheapskate. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 You should not be accepting of dinner dates you are not ecstatic about! What you are referring to are hook ups, why not just take them to a bar for drinks. If they are accepting of that, then you will not be worrying about spending your money on doomed prospects. Well it is not just dinner, but they are dates. Besides, have you seen how much drinks cost at a nice bar in NYC? May as well eat for the same price if you pick the right restaurant. They aren't hookups, I just am not that excited until I know the person well enough to be excited about seeing them. A few conversations is not enough for that. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 We can disagree here. I have no expectations on a first date other than I will meet a new person and get to know them. I am not hoping for anything until I know the girl better. I would hope that she would like to know me as well. We are mutually getting to know each other. I'm saying we all pay our own way and in many cultures you do so while dating as well. I think the whole concept that you pay for a woman is ridiculous. Especially in this day and age where she likely is dating others and picking from her options as are you. I have no issues paying for my gf (though she does not expect it and is okay with splitting dating costs) or my good friends as I have known them for decades and they are worth paying for. I think the whole American concept is upside down. It is treasuring a stranger over those closest to you. Wow, I think this is really true. Well said. I like being treated as much as the next person, and I know my guy likes being treated too. There can be great joy in treating someone to something, or in having someone give you the gift of a delicious dinner. But it's the expectation of it, the assumption that someone has to pay/receive or somehow be less male/female, that is the problem, IMO. Takes a lot of the joy of out giving and receiving. Link to post Share on other sites
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