fetish1980 Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 And i say this as a very physical fit man. Relatively young (31) Who goes to the gym faithfully 3-4 times a week (minimum). Life is not about being happy about how much you weigh, but being happy with yourself. But why does it seem that some of the most unfit, short, and average looking people i see around here have some of the hottest babes on their arm? LOL fetish Link to post Share on other sites
Trojan John Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 And i say this as a very physical fit man. Relatively young (31) Who goes to the gym faithfully 3-4 times a week (minimum). Life is not about being happy about how much you weigh, but being happy with yourself. But why does it seem that some of the most unfit, short, and average looking people i see around here have some of the hottest babes on their arm? LOL fetish Looks and weight are not necessarily related. My wife would be considered heavy for a woman, but she is tall and has a good deal of muscle weight. I consider myself quite fit, and I expect my partner to maintain at least a moderate level of fitness. Unfit with fat rolls, etc. is an entirely different thing. It's not everything, but it's something fairly important. When was the last time you dated someone purely based on their personality? Link to post Share on other sites
JohnM Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 The last time I dated for just personality it ended disastrously. Looks are important, if I'm not even a little bit sexually attracted to them ON physical side there really is no point I think. This was proven when I tried it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fetish1980 Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 I agree with John M and agree that personality play an essential role. But honestly, i am not going to want to date a woman based on personality alone. I can have a good friend based on personality but someone i want to have a sexual relationship with, i do want them to be somewhat attractive. No offense becausee it seems like those are bad words here on LS My ex fiance was very pretty, but she was overweight. Sometimes i got frustrated about it but tried my best to love her anyway. I thought she had a good personality in the beginning. I did my best to reward her for it and treating her nice. At some point, she started letting it all go to her head and then started showing her true colors: selfishness, demanding, insensitivity, and basically her whole inability to respect me. fetish Link to post Share on other sites
gogozodbrpcc Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 ?????? ??????? very nice - thanks ????? ???? | ?????? | ????? ??? | ?????? ?????? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Everyone has a type they are attracted to. I think it must be hardwired or something. Whenever I've dated outside of that type, I've never been sexually attracted. Just the very idea of seeing them naked was repulsive to me. Not to say they weren't nice guys and no doubt were someone else's type. I am not every guy's type either but I don't care. To each his or her own. That's why it saddens me to read posts from men and women who try to change themselves to appeal to all types of men or women. It can't be done. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 It's a mixture of things we're after I think. Looks are important, but we're not all necessarily after the type of beauty presented in the media; it's personal. Link to post Share on other sites
patagonia Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 In my opinion, even if someone is 'hot' or very attractive or drop dead gorgeous in most eyes, they are still not going to be appealing to everyone. Like is said before, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I'm a picky one when it comes to looks. But I maintain mine, so I think I'm allowed to be the same way in my picking. That's part of the sexual attraction game. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 And i say this as a very physical fit man. Relatively young (31) Who goes to the gym faithfully 3-4 times a week (minimum). Life is not about being happy about how much you weigh, but being happy with yourself. But why does it seem that some of the most unfit, short, and average looking people i see around here have some of the hottest babes on their arm? LOL fetish I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but the way I interpret what you're saying is a bit of "don't judge a book by its cover" or thereabouts. Someone could be the hottest, most attractive, drop dead handsome or gorgeous person, but if there's nothing inside, their looks are rather empty as you get to know them. On the other hand, it's also "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" as well, and I agree with the thoughts that say that your attraction meter can be set by many aspects of a person, not just their looks. A great sense of humor, intelligence, charisma, sincerity, etc etc are all attributes that make a person attractive. Overall, does "packaging" matter? -- of course it does, but the extent it matters is variable, depending on what someone brings in the way of those inner qualities. Being open to a person, despite the initial reaction of physical attraction, is critical, IMHO. Everyone deserves a chance when you're getting yourself back into dating. I also pay attention to my body, mind and spirit, and am very fit. I don't feel there is anything wrong with my desire to find those same qualities in a partner. For me to be with a couch potato? Not gonna happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I usually become attracted to personality first, and then become physically attracted thereafter. That is more and more true the older I get. I can't just fall for someone's looks anymore, never really did, but that is double true now I am in my forties. I am all too aware that 'ugly on the inside' is very dangerous to my emotional health, and I won't go there, no matter how attractive the man may be on the outside. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 In my opinion, even if someone is 'hot' or very attractive or drop dead gorgeous in most eyes, they are still not going to be appealing to everyone. Like is said before, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know I'm a picky one when it comes to looks. But I maintain mine, so I think I'm allowed to be the same way in my picking. That's part of the sexual attraction game. I love this post and agree with it 100%. It's tiresome when people will post pictures of his or her self hoping to get consensus about attractiveness. Thankfully, preferences vary wildly. Link to post Share on other sites
patagonia Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I love this post and agree with it 100%. It's tiresome when people will post pictures of his or her self hoping to get consensus about attractiveness. Thankfully, preferences vary wildly. Thanks Dorie! And you said it well yourself! "Thankfully, preferences vary wildly." YES!! Thankfully so!!! I will admit. Sometimes I get caught up in my looks or wonder if I am physically attractive but it isn't something I am focusing on all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
moontiger Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Unfit with fat rolls, etc. is an entirely different thing. It's not everything, but it's something fairly important. When was the last time you dated someone purely based on their personality? Mostly, I do date purely based on personality. I guess I'm in a small minority, but while other things matter a lot to me, I just don't care that much what someone looks like--I'd like him to be healthy, and that's all. To me, if a man is spending a lot of time maintaining his looks and physique, beyond being clean and healthy, that's time he *isn't* spending on things that (to me) are more important. Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingSmall Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Mostly, I do date purely based on personality. I guess I'm in a small minority, but while other things matter a lot to me, I just don't care that much what someone looks like--I'd like him to be healthy, and that's all. To me, if a man is spending a lot of time maintaining his looks and physique, beyond being clean and healthy, that's time he *isn't* spending on things that (to me) are more important. I concur and am the same. Looks matter very little to me. I love a person for their insides. I would never date someone because they were "hot". People get older, looks fade. Some things can't be helped. I want someone to grow old with, I want to still love that person when they're wrinkly, have liver spots, loose skin, turkey necks so on and so forth. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 If looks aren't everything, then why do I strike out? Obviously, it's because I'm 50 pounds overweight, and average looking. Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 If looks aren't everything, then why do I strike out? Obviously, it's because I'm 50 pounds overweight, and average looking. Looks might not be EVERYTHING, but it's certainly something. While personality might seal the deal in terms of staying in a relationship, it's much harder to get your foot in the door if you are unattractive. If your looks aren't helping you, you'll need to compensate with personality. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Looks might not be EVERYTHING, but it's certainly something. While personality might seal the deal in terms of staying in a relationship, it's much harder to get your foot in the door if you are unattractive. If your looks aren't helping you, you'll need to compensate with personality. I have plenty of personality. I'm just too scared to show it. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 For me, their personality attracts me to their looks. But if I had to choose a type of look, it would be slim and not muscly, I'm much more attracted to eyes and expression, and how warm/friendly a person they are. And i say this as a very physical fit man. Relatively young (31) Who goes to the gym faithfully 3-4 times a week (minimum). Life is not about being happy about how much you weigh, but being happy with yourself. But why does it seem that some of the most unfit, short, and average looking people i see around here have some of the hottest babes on their arm? LOL fetish Link to post Share on other sites
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