OCGirl Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Okay, here's the deal in short. I have had a FWB for about 6 months now. There's more friends than the benefits involved I have to say. We are best friends, always there for each etc. The problem is, when he's drunk he's all over me. When he's sober, he gets jealous (says he doesn't know why), doesn't want anyone looking at, apparently talks about me all the time to his friends, calls me at least once everyday and emails me all day long, buys me presents, can't go without seeing me a couple times a week (no sex involved) and tells me how much I mean to him. He recently, while we were just sitting and talking, asked me if I thought I could be faithful to him if we got together but also threw in way in the future. I am lost. I don't understand him. I have even told him once how I felt about him and he got scared. I even went on a vacation to get away from it all and he went crazy worrying about what I was doing and who I might be seeing etc. He's always paranoid that I am out be player but I don't udnerstand why because he makes it clear we are friends. Ugh, it's frustrating being called baby, my love, my girl (being introduced as such to his friends), boo, sweetheart etc. Any ideas? I am at a loss here. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 sorry, pardon my ignorance, but can you help be out a little here - what's a FWB? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 And FWB is a Friendship With Benefits. What that is are two people who are only friends, who have no emotional committment who engage in sex just to meet each other's physical needs. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 FWB - a politically correct f*** buddy ?? OCGirl - sounds like it's time to remove the "just friends" part, if that is what you both want. Personally I don't think these kinds of arrangements can ever really work out, there's got to be an unbalance of emotional feelings somewhere, but that's just my take. If you're just friends who occosionally have sex then surely both of you are free to persue other relationships? Do you want an exclusive relationship with this guy? It sounds like that is what he's looking for with you. If that is indeed what you both want then you need to set some boundaries - lovers can ( and should ) be friends as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCGirl Posted May 1, 2004 Author Share Posted May 1, 2004 Blu- You are right but I did get yet another subtle hint today which I think, might be my answer. We were having a conversation through email and he made a statement "if there wasn't so much drama in both our lives right now, you would be my perfect girl." He's said things like that before but somehow I didn't really listen. He has an baby by his ex as I am divorced with a child. Our children are the most important things to us and I know he is like me and puts his parenting before anyone. I know that his view is regardless of him being unhappy with his ex, he thinks you have to make things work for your child. We all know differently but that's his view but he can't get along with her enough to make it work. I think he's afraid of getting into soemthing with me serious and where it will go with his child. Which honestly, makes me love him even more. lol Call me a sap. I guess it's just confusing and hard but everyone has to learn their lesson on their own. I learned mine but I can't force my experience on him because he truly indeed needs to learn it for himself. I guess, I just have to be patient and get a life in the meantime. lol Link to post Share on other sites
southerngirl84 Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Sounds like he wants to be more than just friends, but is a little afraid to get into a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCGirl Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 I think you might be correct although, it seems to come in cycles. All I know is I have made myself extremely busy and unavailable except for casual phone calls. I figure if he really cares or really does love me, he'll finally see the light. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts