Ships that pass in the night

[Teknoe]

Hey guys, please hear me out. I thought about posting this in Dating, but quickly decided not to. Almost in General Relationships, but it didn't seem to fit either. I think best place is right here.

 

I've been single for a while, and I've noticed a disturbing pattern. I need to stop it, self-improve for my own well-being.

 

1. see attractive girl, crush

2. become friends with her, she feels safe sharing intimate details with me. as a result, i like her even more, and we become very good friends

3. i confess my feelings 2-3 months later

4. i get the just a friend talk

 

not too fun. you can read about a recent episode here

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t252255/

 

anyway, I always see friends getting into relationships, and I always wonder when it'll be me again. It's been a while, and the past couple years there have been girls who I felt liked me, but I never fully liked them back that way. Then I'd see another guy swoop in, and they become BF-GF. Not that I regret it but ... it's still like "damn."

 

Friends getting married... one of my biggest crushes in the past is getting married in fact this month. She invited me and I am even going to help her by being an usher. Crazy 2 years ago I confessed to her my feelings... if she liked me that way that guy at the wedding could have been me.

 

Just things like this sometimes replay in my mind and I get bogged down in "ships that pass in the night." Not fun.

 

How does one get over this? Part of me just prays God will give me my own love story one day. One special lady is all I ask for. I guess before He sends that perfect lady (for me anyhow) my way, He wants me to work on me, first.

[betterdeal]

How about changing the pattern:

 

1. meet girl, find her attractive, talk, try kissing her / say you find her attractive

 

Start on the right foot. If she turns you down, don't get down about it. Being able to take it well can result in a change of mind.

[Teknoe]

How about changing the pattern:

 

1. meet girl, find her attractive, talk, try kissing her / say you find her attractive

 

Start on the right foot. If she turns you down, don't get down about it. Being able to take it well can result in a change of mind.

 

 

Yeah, that's something I've considered adopting/doing.

For one thing, it helps clear any confusion and doesn't drop the friend zone on ya. For another, if she rejects you, at least it was early on and you don't have enough time to become infatuated with her.

 

We'll see. I actually enjoy the "break" I am on now, in no rush to find that special lady. I actually understand that this is a time for me to get right mentally and spiritually. Physically too.

[betterdeal]

Good stuff. You don't have to find that a long term lover right away, but you can play around a bit if you like. Just be very clear when it's just for fun, so you don't mislead anyone. Above all else, enjoy what you do.