worriedinside Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Someone please help me ! My boyfriend of year and 1 mnth has broken up with me and I don't know what to do I feel like I can't get through the day ! it started on wed and I didn't eat and then yesterday he just said it was over so I still haven't ate ! I moved back home with my parents cuz I lived with him . Last nite was my first nite away from him and his house in a very long time and I was so homesick and I am mostly just dreading the days to come I need some serious help I want to be with him and I know I can't make him want to be with me but it hurts so bad ! I have done good I have not called him I am respecting what he wants and that is hard . He told me he loved me he just was not happy, and he just didn't think that he wasn't sure about things right now ! If someone could just give me a few words of advice anything I would appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 Guess what just happened ....... I got on my messenger and he was on!! Ughh he should have been at work , so I didn't think I would have a run in with him on the pc now look that just made it worse !! He told me about something that he watched last nite and I was like well blah blah maybe 2 lines at that and I said "well I gotta go ttyl" Oh my god I am 21 yrs old I feel like such a baby this is killing me that just made is so much worse on me. I feel like crawling in a whole and dying! After yesterday you would think he wouldn't torture me by talking to me. Link to post Share on other sites
HurtPup Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Hi WorriedInside, I know how you're feeling right now, I just broke up with my BF last week. We had broken up once before, but on better terms than this, so we still chatted a little on the computer. After this breakup (which IS for good), things couldn't be on worse terms. I am angry and bitter, and I don't feel it's in my best interest to talk to him anymore. Although a clean break is very hard to deal with, because he's been a part of you for so long. Talking to him will keep making this pain linger on for you. It draws it out and makes it very painful, especially if you are feeling from your conversation with him that HE is just fine, while you are sitting there unable to think of anything else. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of having the privledge to talk to you. Let him feel what it is he lost. Good luck to you sweetie..I feel your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 I hope everyone understands ... i feel like I just need to call him to make things better i Know that it will not but deep down I feel like if I dont talk to him I am not going to make it another day so I am trying to be strong so when I get like this (staring at the phone) I think I will just post and talk to the people who care and help each other out! I hope this doesn't bother anyone but I love him and I am trying to respect his wishes and leave it alone! Thanks to everyone who has took time out to help me thru the day! This is only my second day so I hope things get better. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Don't worry about others, but the problem is that those phone calls after a breakup often go really wrong - not what you intend at all - because emotions are high and wounds are open. You may intend it to be nice and make you both feel better, but it might not turn out that way at all. Or it may give you false hope. Just think before you do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 This is only my second day so I hope things get better. Things will get better. I think Hurtpup is right - you should have no contact with this guy. Take him off your messenger list and even block his number from your phone. So many people say that they were starting to feel alright and then WHAM he/she calls and they're back where they started. You need time to heal and gather your strength. Being on the wrong side of a break up always feels like the worst thing in the world ( have you been there before? I certainly have ) and somehow we continue to live, breath AND EAT ( ), and eventually one day we're over it. You'll get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 1, 2004 Author Share Posted May 1, 2004 Today I went to his house to get the rest of my things while he was at work so I didn't have to be around him ,I thought that would be the best thing to do instead of seeing him . So I went in , and his sister was there which was fine because we get along so well , I told her what I was doing ,and asked her how things had been going for her and etc. She has been there for me when things have went bad , so I asked how my bo had been since I left , and she told me that he won't sleep in our bed he is sleeping on the couch, and he has been moping around the house not talking much, and taking long walks thru out there property! Now I know that I should not give my hopes up and I am not going to although it makes me feel better to know that he may also feel that he misses me ! I have not called him (cheers for me!). And I did go out last nite with some friends and I will be going out tonight with a friend so I am proud of myself for getting out some! She also told me that he has asked if I have called her or if she has called me ! Which I hadn't cause I thought it would be best for know to cut all ties even though his sister and I are friends. She also told me that his and her mother asked how long she thought before we get back together and she told her a month and his mom says if she knows her son right that maybe two weeks if that ! So like I said I am not giving up but this I feel is going to help me get thru my day a little better just for the fact I know that it has affected him in some way even if we do not get back together. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 You know whats nice to do after something like this? Give yourself a pick me up! Dye your hair, get some new outfits.... I've done that and it helps me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 2, 2004 Author Share Posted May 2, 2004 Today is 3 days of not seeing him or hearing his voice and it is so hard to deal with! The going to bed and waking up in the morning is the hardest times for me ! I have talked to his sister again and she told me that he asked her if she knew where I was staying and asking what I said to her when I picked up the rest of my things so I just keep thinking about that and how he must care somewhat! I just can't help but to think my relationship with him is over and I am not ready to accept that in my heart or in my head! I just wish I could get a good mind frame and stay strong because I am so weak and I just want to pick up the phone and call him ! Link to post Share on other sites
roxy_silver16 Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 I know exactley how you feel. My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me a while ago and I thought the world had ended. We basically lived together so I had to get used to having a new routine without him. The hardest part was going to bed and waking up like you said. It took a good 4 days for me to stop crying! I don't know if this will help your situation, but I booked an appointment with a psychiatrist just to get things off my chest, which has helped alot! They ended up putting me on a mild medication to help relieve my anxiety (I don't know if that would help you or not?) but this combination has worked alot for me. I was always calling my ex everyday, going back to his apartment, taking things of mine back, and pretty much begging for him to take me back. This didn't work! It only pushed him away. So no matter how hard it is, stay away. Block him online, take your cell phone away and get out with friends, do homework, do whatever to keep busy. It is so hard, I know how hard it is, but just take it day by day. My situtation ended up working out for the best....After a few weeks of no contact, he realized what a good thing we had, and what a mistake he had made. We talked for days and days and after much deliberation I gave him a second chance, and things are better than before! So just put your faith in God, your family, and friends, and leave it up to fate. Sometimes, you need to let go to understand what a wonderful thing you have. Focus on your life and try to be happy being you! If things work out with your ex, its meant to be, if not then you've learned alot about life, and yourself and you will be stronger and more mature in yuor next relationship! So keep up the faith and just live as hard as it may seem now! Good luck and I hope everything works out for the best Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 I have to admit that today is better for me! On sat. nite I picked up my phone to call a friend and I am so use to dialing his number that I called him instead without paying any attention to what I was doing his voice mail picked up and my heart dropped,ugh I was trying to give him his space and leave it be,so I didn't want him to think I was calling him ya know? So I hung up nothing happened and then Sunday he saw me online again and started asking me what I had done Sat nite, just kinda shooting the breeze no big deal,well I cut the convo short and got off line. At about the same time I had made the ph. call the nite before on accident he called my cell , He asked "what I was doing" and I told him "going to bed" and he wanted to know if I called him I said "no" and he said well "I just opened up my ph. and I saw where you had called or somebody called your ph so I thought something was wrong" and I said "no it wasn't me ,ok?" And he said "ok I guess I will go bye".Now I know that sometime during the day he had been on his ph. in his line of buisness he is always on the ph. so I think he just wanted to call but you never know I could just be making more out of it then what it is, But it just feels so good for him to be wondering about me for a change! That is ok to feel, Right?? Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Hi there.. I am sooo sorry for your situation..I know what you mean by not wanting to eat or anything. I was in the same boat.. I still cry over him every day though. And I am missing him more than anything. If you are feeling that bad..you can go on some kind of medication to help you cope. Sometimes I feel like I cant go on anymore without him. I have been strong by not calling him for over a month now. You are doing good by not calling..but I KNOW its soooo hard. Oh..believe me. But thats good that he is contacting you. That should make you feel better. My fiance has made no attempts to contact me since Feb. 3. Ive been the only one initiating contact with him..by letter and a few phone calls. I get no where..and I CANNOT understand it. best of luck to you. Hang in there. Come here as much as you need to. Thats what I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 This is so funny I had to share this with you all so you can tell me what you think. My bo or ex what ever is a vendor for some motorcycle apparel and some of the guys that I work with had ordered a few things from him before we broke-up one of them had not payed for his order so today I made a comment because I usually took him thier money and I felt like I should ask him about it even though it was not my prob, so the guy from my work called to ask him where to send the money and he didn't pick up his cell ph. so he left my ex a message to call him ,It was not 2 min. later he called and asked if I just called him ? Aghh he never did that, If I called him thru the day he would never return my call until later in the day but today was different ! I thought that it was funny because I sorta feel like the tables may be turning ! What do you all think ! Oh when he did call back to see if it was me I didn't give him a chance to say anything else I just said it wasn't me and to hold ! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 I feel like I need a cigarette...and I don't smoke!!! Just keep spending time with others and doind things proactive and productive. Link to post Share on other sites
T0296 Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 You sound so much better today, tomorrow will be even better. Do you really want him back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 LOL Tiki ! I do feel better today I think that it is because like I said even though this may not change anything with our relationship at least he has not just forgotten about it ! That is all I guess. Yeah I would take him back if I he said he was willing to work on it! But I know that things would have to start off really slow and stay that way for a while. Do you all think he may be thinking really hard since he has made these couple attempts to call ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 4, 2004 Author Share Posted May 4, 2004 Ok so I am assuming that I should not talk to his sister for awhile because everytime that I do since we broke up I always ask what he has been doing,and even though she tells me and it is usually what I want to hear, you know like how he is being real cold and stubborn to everyone like something is bothering him,sleeping all the time and not getting out and doing stuff. I just can't help but to be torn by my feelings Ughh.. I want him to be happy but then it feels slighty good knowing that he may not be happy with his decision. So I guess I am gonna have to be strong and not call her until things coool down because it only hurts me! Are these feelings normal or am I just making too much out of all of this ! I don't know I hope someone can help me ! Link to post Share on other sites
T0296 Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 It's probably not fair to the sister to put her in the middle of this. Why don't you wait a few more days and see what happens, but I don't think you should call the sister again. I think you sound perfectly normal, most have been there and done that! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 hmm... Link to post Share on other sites
Starnette83 Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 hey well me and my bf of 3 years 1/2 broke up today, so ive read everything u wrote, and i feel the same way..ugh...i broke up with him cos hes been taking me for granted (u can check out posts ive written) anyways it is hard...it does make me feel a bit better when i know hes miserable or when he tries to call me..but when he doesnt it aches more..ugh i think we just need to be strong, cos if we give in to easily, they will just act that way again...and we will never be happy with them....i dunno im kinda numb right now, i wanna go and smoke even though i dont smoke..this is my first day being single..and im already feeling like "OH NO"...i dont want to see him at school cos its gonna hurt me i know..and i think its better to cut contact completely..if they know that we care, they will always be jack asses and they will get that same benefit we get when they call...so i guess we have to pretend..and make it seem like we fell of eaarth....ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 i dont know what to do anymore..i wanna call over to his apt but i know he's with his gf....but seriously...do you think a 16 yr old and a 19 going on 20 year old will actually work? noone will ever be able to replace me and put up with the stuff i put up with Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 I just want to thank everyone who has replied or has given some thought to my situation. But I am happy to say he already has given in ! We are not back together but we are talking and have agreed that we will work on our relationship one day at a time and not rush into things like we did the first time! I can't tell you how much pain I felt, all I know is it was a lot and if it were not for the LS I would have been in some deep trouble so my advice for everyone who is feeling pain from a breakup just stay strong and let things be and try to get yourself in order my mother told me the other day that I have to love myself before anyone else could and that is true so remember that! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Originally posted by worriedinside I just want to thank everyone who has replied or has given some thought to my situation. But I am happy to say he already has given in ! We are not back together but we are talking and have agreed that we will work on our relationship one day at a time and not rush into things like we did the first time! I can't tell you how much pain I felt, all I know is it was a lot and if it were not for the LS I would have been in some deep trouble so my advice for everyone who is feeling pain from a breakup just stay strong and let things be and try to get yourself in order my mother told me the other day that I have to love myself before anyone else could and that is true so remember that! thats awesome....im still waiting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 Meanttolive4ever, I am a firm believer that age does not matter as long as both parties are mature, so the only advice that I could give you is that you have to let time heal all wounds and let things be if Your relationship is meant to be it will be and if not there is someone out there who will love you more than you have ever been loved and make you feel like you have never felt and you will look back on this and laugh at yourself for beating yourself up so bad, when something so much better was waiting on you! But as for right now your heart is torn and it will take time so do what I did and stay busy, post here , anything you can to keep your mind off of things! I got married when I was 18 and I thought that guy hung the moon he was 7yrs older than me (like i said age to me does not matter) , but I realized he didn't and we were not meant to be and I moved on and found something so much greater and you will too! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Originally posted by worriedinside Meanttolive4ever, I am a firm believer that age does not matter as long as both parties are mature, so the only advice that I could give you is that you have to let time heal all wounds and let things be if Your relationship is meant to be it will be and if not there is someone out there who will love you more than you have ever been loved and make you feel like you have never felt and you will look back on this and laugh at yourself for beating yourself up so bad, when something so much better was waiting on you! But as for right now your heart is torn and it will take time so do what I did and stay busy, post here , anything you can to keep your mind off of things! I got married when I was 18 and I thought that guy hung the moon he was 7yrs older than me (like i said age to me does not matter) , but I realized he didn't and we were not meant to be and I moved on and found something so much greater and you will too! thank you for your advice... ive been trying to work as much as possible to keep my mind off of him but he did come in one night when i was working with his sister...and he was like laughing at me and smiling and then he would stick his tongue out at me once or twice....but then when i called him the other day he sounded so either down or just mad...with him u can never tell... i doubt that 16 yr old nowadays are mature...i mean she was the one who broke up his first relationship and that was a 2 1/2 yea relationship and then i think maybe she broke up mine which was 10 1/2 months..i mean cmon this girl is bad. Everyone knows how easy she is and that she's a sk**k. but anyway...i hate waiting...its so hard to do. i just wanna call him n tell him how much i love him but i know he'll prolly be like yea ok.. Link to post Share on other sites
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