daisy love Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My lover man told W that he wanted a D and he laid forth a VERY GENEROUS settlement.At first, BS said they wold get a D over her dead body. Then my love told her he could make that happen and then her attitude changed and she got real sweet. Then she wanted to try to fix everything and my love told her to get out of town. Then she acted like she didn't care and we thought that everything was going to be real good.Now she's being really passive aggressive and acting like a total b*itch. She will call him on the phone and be all nicey nice and try to talk about old times and crap and agree to what he says, and then she will have her lawyer send him some stupid thing over the settlement! Like she told him she agreed to his terms on keeping the house. He told her she could keep the house and it was this many dollars in value. She said ok to him on the phone. Then her stupid lawyer send him notice that it's not ok and she wants more! He will talk to her on the phone about it, and she's all sweet as pie again!I told him a whole lot of times to STOP TALKING to her! He should let his lawyers take care of everything cuz that's what he paid them for you know? But he insists on talking to her and try to get her to make nice and go away. But then he gets all upset again and real grumpy! I suggested again sweetly with a kiss that he GO NC and he was real pissed about everything and he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!! Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My lover man told W that he wanted a D and he laid forth a VERY GENEROUS settlement.At first, BS said they wold get a D over her dead body. Then my love told her he could make that happen and then her attitude changed and she got real sweet. Then she wanted to try to fix everything and my love told her to get out of town. Then she acted like she didn't care and we thought that everything was going to be real good.Now she's being really passive aggressive and acting like a total b*itch. She will call him on the phone and be all nicey nice and try to talk about old times and crap and agree to what he says, and then she will have her lawyer send him some stupid thing over the settlement! Like she told him she agreed to his terms on keeping the house. He told her she could keep the house and it was this many dollars in value. She said ok to him on the phone. Then her stupid lawyer send him notice that it's not ok and she wants more! He will talk to her on the phone about it, and she's all sweet as pie again!I told him a whole lot of times to STOP TALKING to her! He should let his lawyers take care of everything cuz that's what he paid them for you know? But he insists on talking to her and try to get her to make nice and go away. But then he gets all upset again and real grumpy! I suggested again sweetly with a kiss that he GO NC and he was real pissed about everything and he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!! Mind your own business. This is for them to work out. At least he had the decency to file for divorce instead of leading his wife to believe she had a marriage while screwing around with you behind her back. Just let him take care of the messy details and stay out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My lover man told W that he wanted a D and he laid forth a VERY GENEROUS settlement.At first, BS said they wold get a D over her dead body. Then my love told her he could make that happen and then her attitude changed and she got real sweet. Then she wanted to try to fix everything and my love told her to get out of town. Then she acted like she didn't care and we thought that everything was going to be real good.Now she's being really passive aggressive and acting like a total b*itch. She will call him on the phone and be all nicey nice and try to talk about old times and crap and agree to what he says, and then she will have her lawyer send him some stupid thing over the settlement! Like she told him she agreed to his terms on keeping the house. He told her she could keep the house and it was this many dollars in value. She said ok to him on the phone. Then her stupid lawyer send him notice that it's not ok and she wants more! He will talk to her on the phone about it, and she's all sweet as pie again!I told him a whole lot of times to STOP TALKING to her! He should let his lawyers take care of everything cuz that's what he paid them for you know? But he insists on talking to her and try to get her to make nice and go away. But then he gets all upset again and real grumpy! I suggested again sweetly with a kiss that he GO NC and he was real pissed about everything and he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!! He told you what you should do....mind your own business. Sounds pretty clear cut and dry. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 He told you what you should do....mind your own business. Sounds pretty clear cut and dry. I agree. When someone tells you it's not your business, back off and stop pushing them into what you want to happen. Like it or not, their marriage is HIS business and you get absolutely NO say in that part of his life. Maybe it's time for you to grow a spine, pull up your big girl panties and tell him goodbye. Find a single guy worth loving, not some married guy who is messing with you and is selfish. The choice is yours Daisy. Your life can be better and happier if you take a new path. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Darn, I hate that she got a stupid lawyer. She needs a cut throat bulldog lawyer! She needs to let the lawyer work with her H and his lawyer. Actually, though, he's right, it IS none of your business BUT perhaps if you call her lawyer and give him your side of the story, it might help to expedite things! Nothing you've said though makes her the BS from hell. Not yet anyway! She's simply fighting for what's rightfully hers. Now if she aspires to be "the bs from hell", put her in touch with me, I know some gals who can mentor her! Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My lover man told W that he wanted a D and he laid forth a VERY GENEROUS settlement.At first, BS said they wold get a D over her dead body. Then my love told her he could make that happen and then her attitude changed and she got real sweet. Then she wanted to try to fix everything and my love told her to get out of town. Then she acted like she didn't care and we thought that everything was going to be real good.Now she's being really passive aggressive and acting like a total b*itch. She will call him on the phone and be all nicey nice and try to talk about old times and crap and agree to what he says, and then she will have her lawyer send him some stupid thing over the settlement! Like she told him she agreed to his terms on keeping the house. He told her she could keep the house and it was this many dollars in value. She said ok to him on the phone. Then her stupid lawyer send him notice that it's not ok and she wants more! He will talk to her on the phone about it, and she's all sweet as pie again!I told him a whole lot of times to STOP TALKING to her! He should let his lawyers take care of everything cuz that's what he paid them for you know? But he insists on talking to her and try to get her to make nice and go away. But then he gets all upset again and real grumpy! I suggested again sweetly with a kiss that he GO NC and he was real pissed about everything and he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!! You need to stay out of it for right now he's the one that needs to resolve all of his issues with STBXW. I know it's hard to do but in the end it's better if he goe's through this on his own. I'm speaking from experience on this, when I was in his place my W now was in yours sort of to speak and we did the same dance. I met her while I was S and well into the D process she at many times attempted to involve herself in the final outcome and all it did was add extra stress to an already crazy situation. In the end I was the one that had to deal with all drama that was the end of my previous M not her. An you know what it worked out for the best now 20+yrs later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author daisy love Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 I agree. When someone tells you it's not your business, back off and stop pushing them into what you want to happen. Like it or not, their marriage is HIS business and you get absolutely NO say in that part of his life. Maybe it's time for you to grow a spine, pull up your big girl panties and tell him goodbye. Find a single guy worth loving, not some married guy who is messing with you and is selfish. The choice is yours Daisy. Your life can be better and happier if you take a new path.Who said I'm not happy? I'm REAL happy all the time unless SHE is the subject! I don't even care if she's the subject but she upsets my baby so much. I love my sweet man and I want things to go easy for him and I want to help him however I can! What's wrong with that? Aren't there any OW here who are married now that can help me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author daisy love Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 Darn, I hate that she got a stupid lawyer. She needs a cut throat bulldog lawyer! She needs to let the lawyer work with her H and his lawyer. Actually, though, he's right, it IS none of your business BUT perhaps if you call her lawyer and give him your side of the story, it might help to expedite things! Nothing you've said though makes her the BS from hell. Not yet anyway! She's simply fighting for what's rightfully hers. Now if she aspires to be "the bs from hell", put her in touch with me, I know some gals who can mentor her!He's paying for her lawyer! Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Who said I'm not happy? I'm REAL happy all the time unless SHE is the subject! I don't even care if she's the subject but she upsets my baby so much. I love my sweet man and I want things to go easy for him and I want to help him however I can! What's wrong with that? Aren't there any OW here who are married now that can help me? Help you do what? Get the situation to revolve around you. Sure somebody will be along any minute. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 He's paying for her lawyer! Annndddd. I need to talk to her and her lawyer so I can show her how to geter done. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Who said I'm not happy? I'm REAL happy all the time unless SHE is the subject! I don't even care if she's the subject but she upsets my baby so much. I love my sweet man and I want things to go easy for him and I want to help him however I can! What's wrong with that? Aren't there any OW here who are married now that can help me? Well, she's going to be the subject for a while so get used to it or back off it all when it comes to his marriage and "impending" divorce. He doesn't need the stress of having to deal with your jealously or wanting to know what is going on in his marriage/"impending" divorce, so this is something you'll have to accept and deal with on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 He's paying for her lawyer! Good! Given the situation...he can probably expect to be paying for a lot more than just her legal fees! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 He's paying for her lawyer! And obviously this upsets/annoys you that he's spending money on his wife, on her lawyer.. Right? Well again, you don't get a say in how he spends his money.. Sorry to be blunt. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 And for the record...as far as my wife's xOM was concerned...I really was the BS from hell! Once I knew the score, it took me less than two hours from knowing nothing more than his name and email address to knowing where he lived, where he worked, what he drove, how many kids he had and how much child support and alimony he was paying his ex-wife. Hope she doesn't get smarter than she's been so far, or you could really have a "BS from hell" on your hands. If she wises up...she really COULD make your life miserable...all the while taking him to the cleaners. Why would you expect her to do any less? Link to post Share on other sites
Author daisy love Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 I agree. When someone tells you it's not your business, back off and stop pushing them into what you want to happen. Like it or not, their marriage is HIS business and you get absolutely NO say in that part of his life. Maybe it's time for you to grow a spine, pull up your big girl panties and tell him goodbye. Find a single guy worth loving, not some married guy who is messing with you and is selfish. The choice is yours Daisy. Your life can be better and happier if you take a new path.How is it not my business? We can't get M until they get the D, so it is VERY MUCH my business! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!! What to do? Exactly what he suggested: mind your own business. You were not involved in their wedding (at least I hope not), and you should not be part of their divorce. All your participation will do is hurt you more when things don't go like you think they should, and further enflame the both of them and you will find the soon to be DMM internalizing his anger and then projecting it on you. No one will win. Besides, men do not like to be told how to handle their business. Back off and let him take care of what needs to be taken care of. His divorce is not your business. That is unfinished business between the two of them. You can put away any notions of getting married any time soon. The nastier the divorce, the less likely it is he is going to want to marry soon. He'll want to enjoy some sort of single guy life for a while. Let the shackle marks heal for goodness sakes! Have you read "How to Survive My Boyfriend's Divorce"? Pick it up when you get a chance, it may shed some insight. As for the soon to be DBW? There isn't much you can do. Just pray she isn't the Betty Broderick type. Edited August 11, 2011 by LucreziaBorgia Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 My lover man told W that he wanted a D and he laid forth a VERY GENEROUS settlement.At first, BS said they wold get a D over her dead body. Then my love told her he could make that happen and then her attitude changed and she got real sweet. Then she wanted to try to fix everything and my love told her to get out of town. Then she acted like she didn't care and we thought that everything was going to be real good.Now she's being really passive aggressive and acting like a total b*itch. She will call him on the phone and be all nicey nice and try to talk about old times and crap and agree to what he says, and then she will have her lawyer send him some stupid thing over the settlement! Like she told him she agreed to his terms on keeping the house. He told her she could keep the house and it was this many dollars in value. She said ok to him on the phone. Then her stupid lawyer send him notice that it's not ok and she wants more! He will talk to her on the phone about it, and she's all sweet as pie again!I told him a whole lot of times to STOP TALKING to her! He should let his lawyers take care of everything cuz that's what he paid them for you know? But he insists on talking to her and try to get her to make nice and go away. But then he gets all upset again and real grumpy! I suggested again sweetly with a kiss that he GO NC and he was real pissed about everything and he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!! lol well I guess her attitude would change, that sounds like a damn death threat! Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 How is it not my business? We can't get M until they get the D, so it is VERY MUCH my business! This is some seriously funny shiggity. :lmao::lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Did you realistically expect her to just walk away all and be all nice Daisy? He threatened her with making her go away (killing her) uh??? He is a real charmer, not. If she loves him.......she will fight for her marriage. You won't see it for what it is but the way he is treating her is the way you will be treated when you get replaced with a younger prettier version. It's the REAL him that you are seeing Daisy, pay attention. And..........if she finds out about you and she probably will, you can expect a lot of **** to come your way. It will be interesting to see if he throws you under the bus or not. Yup, that's about the size of it. How he treats the wife is how he'll treat his future partner as soon as things aren't going so well in the marriage. People don't generally change who they are. They bring the same crap to each marriage that ruined it for them in the prior one. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 How is it not my business? We can't get M until they get the D, so it is VERY MUCH my business! Hmmm....well given that view, wouldn't it also mean that your affair with him is indeed her business as well. Why not sit down with her and tell her the truth in that case? Sorry...can't have it one way (well...a realistic, grown adult would recognize that you can't have it one way...other mileage may vary). Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hmmm....well given that view, wouldn't it also mean that your affair with him is indeed her business as well. Why not sit down with her and tell her the truth in that case? Sorry...can't have it one way (well...a realistic, grown adult would recognize that you can't have it one way...other mileage may vary). ^^^^^Here, Here:bunny::bunny::bunny:^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 He's paying for her lawyer! All's fair in love and war! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Typical victim-whining. Wah, my boyfriend made a mess of someone else's life and now she won't go quietly into the night. You are both so selfish, unempathetic and lack any relational sense or boundaries that the two of you may just as well call it quits and head for some counseling before you cause each other unimaginable grief. No "sweet, sweet" man tells the woman he is chucking (the woman who wanted to work on the marriage no less) that he can make her dead body happen. And no smart girl stays with a man like that. He's going to be one of those idiots that had the "you're not gonna control me, I'm going to utterly destroy myself to prove it" arguments with the wife. Then when he realizes she wasn't trying to control him to begin with and moves on with her own life, he will feel like he lost bigtime. Especially having such a controlling girlfriend. The cycle continues. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Comes with the territory Daisy. You have to expect it. The STBXW in my situation is playing an 'interesting' game, and it's all a bit annoying but you know, it's not her I'm in love with, and she has no influence over how happy we are or how much we love each other. And she feels wronged (though I might debate that on some counts) so she's entitled to react as she sees fit. Her life, her prerogative. If you try and control those things you'll drive yourself doo-lally Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I hope you can pay for your wedding, cause it sounds like he may not have a pot to piss in after his divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts