The BS from hell!

[dreamingoftigers]

You're suggesting we should both play her game? That's an idea I hadn't thought of!

 

Why involve yourself in a continuing power-struggle that isn't your to begun with.

 

Truth be told you don't want him having an emotional reaction to the wife at all unless it is something that draws the two of you closer together (I.e. "she's the enemy.") and you want him to turn to you in that case.

 

Men generally like to handle their emotional garbage by having space and bit being shamed for it. Back off. Or you are going to drain him, quite frankly.

[xxoo]

Alls I want to know is how to get this **** she's pulling to not frustrate him so bad. Cuz that's all it is ****!

 

You can't. It is out of your control.

 

It isn't out of his control, but you aren't going to change him.

[Silly_Girl]

But...everyone has said the same thing that Silly_Girl did: Basically, just stay out of it.

 

*Runs off to print herself a certificate on her home PC to mark such a momentous occasion: "People on LS agreed with me, upon the 11th day of August...."*

[Spark1111]

Daisy, I know being told often and for a long time that their marriage was caput, you truly did believe she would want to quickly divorce and move on.

 

And the reality is, that will probably NOT be what happens. Whether it is her, or her attorneys, divorce is often a long, drawn out, emotional rollercoaster for BOTH parties involved.

 

Ultimately, the court will make it's decision and that can take as long or as short as the attorneys intend to litigate disputes between husband and wife.

 

This isn't going to be over anytime soon, as much as you may want or hope it to be. Especially, if he is a man of means as I am sure her attorney's are aware of. And if she has been unemployed during there marriage, yes, it is common that he will have to pay for her attorney fees since he inititated the filing and it sounds like she intends to contest it.

 

All you can do is have patience and wait and do not try to flame the fires that are already lit.

[daisy love]

No, I think you and super special lover dude are being beat at your own game. Tawanda!!!!!!!!!!

 

What are you talking about? He offered her everything she wanted from the very beginning. Do you want him to offer her his nuts on a silver platter too?

 

I like your other idea though! Every time she says ok but trys for more, he should offer less! That would Nip. It. In. The. BUD!

[daisy love]

Daisy, I know being told often and for a long time that their marriage was caput, you truly did believe she would want to quickly divorce and move on.

 

And the reality is, that will probably NOT be what happens. Whether it is her, or her attorneys, divorce is often a long, drawn out, emotional rollercoaster for BOTH parties involved.

 

Ultimately, the court will make it's decision and that can take as long or as short as the attorneys intend to litigate disputes between husband and wife.

 

This isn't going to be over anytime soon, as much as you may want or hope it to be. Especially, if he is a man of means as I am sure her attorney's are aware of. And if she has been unemployed during there marriage, yes, it is common that he will have to pay for her attorney fees since he inititated the filing and it sounds like she intends to contest it.

 

All you can do is have patience and wait and do not try to flame the fires that are already lit.

 

Thank you. This makes sense to me. Good things come to those who wait huh!

[MissBee]

So he has a "type."

 

As for getting her stuff not to frustrate him so bad.... You have no control over how he feels about it or how he is going to react. Zilch. Word to the wise... Don't ever try to own someone else's feelings: it is a recipe for a very unhealthy relationship.

 

 

But cosign.....

[bentnotbroken]

What are you talking about? He offered her everything she wanted from the very beginning. Do you want him to offer her his nuts on a silver platter too?

 

I like your other idea though! Every time she says ok but trys for more, he should offer less! That would Nip. It. In. The. BUD!

 

 

If he had nuts maybe he should offer them up. And you can read whatever you want into my posts if that floats your boat....float on. But the fact is, you can't tell him what to do as he has already told you to but out. :D The thing about Biotches they tend to pack a powerful slap, especially when pushed beyond their limits. Let's face it, you are still(until the divorce at least) on the outside looking in. :lmao::lmao:

[Linda9999]

Do you want him to offer her his nuts on a silver platter too?

 

There's an idea!!

[Silly_Girl]

There's lots of sadness here on LS.

My spidey-sense tells me that there will be more.

What do you think?

 

I don't necessarily disagree with you. I just don't see why it's such a source of fun for you, given what you feel about the situation underneath the jibes... That's all

[dreamingoftigers]

What are you talking about? He offered her everything she wanted from the very beginning. Do you want him to offer her his nuts on a silver platter too?

 

I like your other idea though! Every time she says ok but trys for more, he should offer less! That would Nip. It. In. The. BUD!

 

That's not what BNB suggested at all.

 

She doesn't want the goods as much as she wants the validation. Honestly if I were emotionally dependent on my H and he pulled the **** your MM has pulled, I would make it Hell for him like he is making it an emotional Hell for me by cheating, lying and threatening me. He could expect a Veeeerrrrryyyy long battle with not much to show for it except a long legal bill in the end.

 

Think of how annoyed you are and how much say you want to have in the situation, now multiply that by 100. There's your answer for how long and hard this is going to be.

 

Why MMs ever figure they can pay off the W is completely beyond me. If I were furious enough, I would let the damn D bankrupt us both. Hell hath no fury..... And according to you Hell is her hometown.

 

Brace yourself.

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't necessarily disagree with you. I just don't see why it's such a source of fun for you, given what you feel about the situation underneath the jibes... That's all

 

Why it is such a source of fun for me this week: misery lives company. Especially company on the other side of the spectrum.

 

Since my own life is sadly powerless against the cheating kind and their accessories (for the time being) I take a little pinch of happiness knowing that somewhere out there, someone causing poor misery like the kind I have suffered is getting at least annoyed.

 

I'll grow up next week, today I'll take a day off from maturity and bask in the random naïveté of others.

 

Pass the shame along....

[bentnotbroken]

That's not what BNB suggested at all.

 

She doesn't want the goods as much as she wants the validation. Honestly if I were emotionally dependent on my H and he pulled the **** your MM has pulled, I would make it Hell for him like he is making it an emotional Hell for me by cheating, lying and threatening me. He could expect a Veeeerrrrryyyy long battle with not much to show for it except a long legal bill in the end.

 

Think of how annoyed you are and how much say you want to have in the situation, now multiply that by 100. There's your answer for how long and hard this is going to be.

 

Why MMs ever figure they can pay off the W is completely beyond me. If I were furious enough, I would let the damn D bankrupt us both. Hell hath no fury..... And according to you Hell is her hometown.

 

Brace yourself.

 

Mr. Messy felt like he could move assets, hide monies and lie about debts that he and OW would live happily ever after if I sold my dream home and moved out of state to be with my family(yes, he wanted me to take his children out of state:sick:)to make his(their) lives easier.......Not a flying chance in hell. Not only did I get what I was entitled to, I knew how important his reputation was to him:lmao::lmao::lmao:. Funny thing, money can't change who you really are underneath. If you are a piece scum before, all you can do is dress it up to make it look better, but it is still just a piece of scum(threatening to do things over her dead body:sick:)

[Mme. Chaucer]

At first, BS said they wold get a D over her dead body. Then my love told her he could make that happen

 

The fact that you shared this, Daisy, makes you look very trashy. And it portrays your "lover man" as a lowlife creep.

 

 

But he insists on talking to her and try to get her to make nice and go away. But then he gets all upset again and real grumpy! I suggested again sweetly with a kiss that he GO NC and he was real pissed about everything and he told me to mind my own business.What should I do?? She is making my life MISERABLE!!

 

As others have said; you and this prize of a looserman are probably making HER life more miserable than you can imagine. And, you are bugging your snuggums and probably making HIM miserable yourself. If you don't lay off, he is going to have a "light bulb moment" (arguably the first one in your story) and realize that he might be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

 

If his wife is really a big PIA, he could start to dream of peaceful days without any nagging, demanding, conflicts.

[dreamingoftigers]

MMs tend to dive into the steroid versions of the relationships that they had with their wives. I.e she used to be so much fun etc. So this time they find the girl that parties extra-hard and turns out to have bigger arguments with them then they ever did with the XW. stuff like that.

[happywithme]

I know I'm young and I've been really stupid and have done something I shouldn't have with MM, and I feel terrible about it and I'm sure I will forever, but I have to say wow. If I ever turned into this much of a self obsorbed whatever I think I'd be even sadder. It is there finances, there raltionship, there marriage that is ending, not yours. If you want to take care of your baby make sure he pays child support. That is all that your entitled to yet. be happy its heading in your direction.

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh cripes, there's a baby involved?

[daisy love]

I know I'm young and I've been really stupid and have done something I shouldn't have with MM, and I feel terrible about it and I'm sure I will forever, but I have to say wow. If I ever turned into this much of a self obsorbed whatever I think I'd be even sadder. It is there finances, there raltionship, there marriage that is ending, not yours. If you want to take care of your baby make sure he pays child support. That is all that your entitled to yet. be happy its heading in your direction.

WHERE did you get THAT IDEA? There are NO children involved. Unless you count how BS is acting!

[Owl]

WHERE did you get THAT IDEA? There are NO children involved. Unless you count how BS is acting!

 

And you wonder why people think the worst when you post?

 

I'm sorry...but I really wish you could read your posts and see how they sound from the other side of the internet.

 

To phrase this as politely as I possibly can...there seems to be a huge opportunity for large-scale emotional development to be had here.

[bentnotbroken]

WHERE did you get THAT IDEA? There are NO children involved. Unless you count how BS is acting!

 

 

She took her lead from loverboy.

[daisy love]

But...everyone has said the same thing that Silly_Girl did: Basically, just stay out of it.

This is not what she said. Everyone told me to but out. Silly_Girl said that if I chose to stay involved, it would drive me crazy. Don't you see the difference?

[bentnotbroken]

And you wonder why people think the worst when you post?

 

I'm sorry...but I really wish you could read your posts and see how they sound from the other side of the internet.

 

To phrase this as politely as I possibly can...there seems to be a huge opportunity for large-scale emotional development to be had here.

^^^^^^^^What he said.:bunny::bunny:

[IfWishesWereHorses]

WHERE did you get THAT IDEA? There are NO children involved. Unless you count how BS is acting!

 

"her baby" is the MM! That's who she was referring to.

[bentnotbroken]

This is not what she said. Everyone told me to but out. Silly_Girl said that if I chose to stay involved, it would drive me crazy. Don't you see the difference?

 

No, and I would bet money you don't either and if you do....well..........

[serial muse]

This is not what she said. Everyone told me to but out. Silly_Girl said that if I chose to stay involved, it would drive me crazy. Don't you see the difference?

 

And this doesn't sound like advice to you to butt out? Why not?