awreck Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Ok it has been about 4 weeks since my ex an i broke up and about 3 of NC and we were together almost 5years Well she came to me today and cried in my arms for 2 hours She said she regrets breaking up with me an that she still cares about me still likes me and misses me and all of the things we did Well then she starts hugging and kissing me and i stopped it at that She says she has mixed feelings because she has feelings for another guy but does not know which way to go I would do anything to have her back How would i convince her to choose her feelings for me over him? What should i do i need some advice asap Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I don't know if my advice is worth more than 2 cents but it appears you need someone to talk to so here I am! lol Do you want her back or do you want to make sure you are doing the best thing for you? If you want her back at all costs, go get her a ring and tell her she is the love of your life and you eventually want to marry her. She wants to know she has someone to rely on and to make her feel loved and secure. Some sign of that is sure to make her turn toward you at the moment and forget about him...even if it's only for 10 seconds. The point is, that if she is torn between you (who she had a LT relationship with for 5 years) and this other guy (where the heck did HE come from?) then how can she be in love with either one of you? Did she meet this guy when she was with you? How disrespectful. Are you sure you want her back? So how did you both leave things? She is still torn? Are you a couple again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author awreck Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 Well we ended on good terms, she said she felt like we drifted apart but we never fought or anything. An she is very trustworthy and honest so i do believe her but she met this guy at work after we broke up and we were engaged but no set date And yes i do want her back and i would do anything to get her back Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Well we ended on good terms, she said she felt like we drifted apart but we never fought or anything. An she is very trustworthy and honest so i do believe her but she met this guy at work after we broke up and we were engaged but no set date And yes i do want her back and i would do anything to get her back Good God! You have only been broken up for 4 weeks and she met a guy in that short of a time period and can't decide between you and him? Link to post Share on other sites
lvm Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 You were together for 5 years. She found someone quickly. Most likely, she was just doing whatever it took to "feel better", though not in the healthiest way at all. With that said, it has only been a month since the breakup. She is still reeling from that - hence jumping into a new relationship and then being confused. I'd tell her to take some time to herself before she contacts you again. You need to know that it is coming from a place of reflection.. and not just reflection tinged with the highly charged emotions that follow after a breakup in a serious relationship (that occur for both parties). Time and space is needed for healing for the both of you before you can revisit the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awreck Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Alright so sat down and talked to her and I said tell me how you feel honestly no bs She said that she only did ad said those things cause she did not want to hurt my feelings. Should I believe that or should I believe there is something more or less? Link to post Share on other sites
Author awreck Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 And she said she does not have those feeling for me anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Author awreck Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 A co worker suggested that maybe she still has feelings for me but is suppressing them to allow her to give this other guy a chance Could this be true? What do I look for to know if she has feelings for me or not Link to post Share on other sites
lvm Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I think suppressing feelings could definitely be a possibility. Coming back to talk could be also her trying to convince herself. Best just to walk away from now... she needs time to figure things out in her head. Link to post Share on other sites
daileyburgboy Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I was told that after a break up, you will find the true reason for the break up within 6 weeks of it happening. I truely believe this statement, read it here and see it regularly now that I pay attention to these things. Well, this other guy just didn't come into her picture, he's been in the picture for sometime now....hence your break up. Now she's seeing that the grass wasn't greener on the other side!!!!!!! Yes she still has feelings, etc, but she seen you as not worth it and gave this other person a try!!!!!! So Tread lightly!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Actions speak louder than words. Watch to see what she does, and disregard whatever she says. And go no contact, hard. If she doesn't want to be with you, she won't. If she does, she will. Nothing you do or say will convince her - so let her figure it out and in the meantime focus on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awreck Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Well we have a apartment together but she has been staying at her moms and our NC broke when she came back and started living in her room again. But she always asks me to do things now. So I have no clue lol Sorry I should have posted this earlier http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t288640/ That is a recap of what happened with the break up Link to post Share on other sites
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