Bad days

[Diatribes]

Kind of had a nervous break down last night. I cried and vented on my best friend. Today I feel like life is the worst it's ever been. I don't understand why I feel so bad over my ex. We were only together 3 months, and it's been 3 weeks to the day she left. I never felt this bad about my first love when she left me, and we were together 3 years. I didn't feel this bad when I left my ex-wife, either. I think it may be that I got played so hard. I've never been treated so callously. Even in my past relationships, I know there was a time when my lover actually loved me. I don't think my current ex ever did. I guess I feel like I was nothing to her but a means to her own ends. It hurts really bad that I loved this person who in all actually probably never loved me. The anxiety and depression is very bad. Time doesn't seem to be making this go away. I feel lost and confused. I don't think it helps that I'm going to be 40 soon. Feels like I've wasted years. Is this what a mid-life crisis is? Just what I need on top of everything else that's going wrong in life. I just want to feel good about myself again.

[jeff2321]

I feel ya. I am going through the same thing, only it's been a year for me. After my ex first left, I was laid out on the couch in shock... I quit my job and I took a month to get myself back together. the first month is the worst where you're basically walking around in shock -- I remember at that time having chest pains all the time. It had felt like I was stabbed in the chest for literally a month. I lost 30 lbs because I didn't eat and I was unable to be by myself for any length period of time.

 

Fast forward a year later, 3-4 flings later, and I'm a depressed guy that basically just works and comes home every night to a 65 inch big screen TV with tons of movies/tv shows. I made a few friends right after my ex left, but most of them have dropped off the radar.

 

I don't have any answers for you except that it will get better with time. Time has a way of helping you get over the pain. I'm over the very painful parts and in the depression phase. Keep yourself busy. Post on these forums and read the stories from other people here... These forums have helped me from literally jumping off the cliff a few times.

 

I am 31 with no kids and probably virtually no possibility of attracting any woman that is right for me currently. It's an uphill road and I know at some point I'm going ot have to get back on the saddle and get out there and try again.

 

Hang in there

 

Jeff

[reimeivn]

I think its just way too soon to split up, if you loved the person dearly. You definitely have lots and lots of dreams about future with her deep in your heart. With all of your previous relationships, it seemed like you were a bit more realistic.