Author antinko Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 Ok, so tonight is date night and it's with the girl I have really good chemistry with. Obviously, chemistry is nice but I know my next relationship has to be with someone who I believe wants to really make a good go of it. I'm just going to have fun tonight. If it doesn't develop into anything more, so be it, but we'll see. I don't feel at all nervous, well maybe a 'bit', and I think that I'm in the best position I've ever been in to take my love life forward. I'll report back at some point... Link to post Share on other sites
Dblock10 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 And so I'm done with this journal in terms of 'coping'. I am now 'developing' and, while I do feel the loss of my ex, it feels much more like the feeling I experience when I remember my close friend who died of cancer earlier this year. As I said, I remember the good and the rest is history. I will add to this journal for a while so I can update about my dates, but I'm starting to wonder if there's something to be said for becoming more of a private individual. I'll wait and see on that one though. Best wishes to you all. - Antinko hey sorry i took longer to reply than i said, read the letter, it is very good. and so true. speaks everything of the truth, it could sound a little bitter, but you know it isnt... you seem to have moved on very well and are dealing with it with grace. sorry to hear about your friend, that is very upsetting yeah do update but if you feel you now need to leave and move forward without this website anymore, then im glad to have shared my experiences and to have read yours in this space and time. together we become history as life moves forward! our posts will one day be history. saddens me to think there will be days months weeks years of other people to come, hurting and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author antinko Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 I won't go into too much detail out of respect for her, but I went on that date and it went REALLY well. I went in with zero expectations, made moves which felt natural and followed instinct. We kissed a bit. Second date is a go. Both came out happy. We'll see where this leads but in the meantime I'm focusing on self improvement. If anything will help, if this does turn into a relationship, then I'm confident that doing what I'm doing presently is the best way to go. Let's see... Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Congrats on the date , hope things continue to blossom for the two of you. Sorry for not replying earlier, I did read your guide & the email you sent me, which they were both very helpful. Perhaps you should make your guide for motivation in a new thread, as more people will be able to see it & etc. Also, I printed out my resume & I plan on handing it out sometime today. Link to post Share on other sites
sleepykitten Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Am delighted your date went so well, will miss your entrys if you are no longer posting you have been a huge source of comfort and inspiration and I have no doubt you will achieve all you want to in your life, and i wish you all the love and happiness you wish yourself. take care x Link to post Share on other sites
Author antinko Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 Thanks all. I will probably update this thread from time to time and it's very early on with this girl at the moment...just one date...so it might not turn into anything. In fact, I will admit I'm a bit worried about that because, despite saying I'm playing this cool, I really really like her... I'd be disappointed if it didn't go anywhere, but we'll see... Link to post Share on other sites
Author antinko Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 So it was my birthday the other day and my ex didn't send me a message. Not that this particularly bothers me, but she'd made a point of promising when I last spoke to her and I hadn't asked her to. How do I feel? Honestly, I don't really feel anything other than perhaps a slight hint of relief that she didn't. I wasn't even going to write this paragraph, but I thought that, well after this journal has focused primarily on my break up, I may as well. I continue to self improve and I have decided to hang around Love Shack because I like keeping up with people, particularly those whom I have interacted with. Furthermore, I feel that I have something to offer here. I'm no expert, not at all. I'm just a human being, a male one, and I try to live my life as best as possible. I make mistakes and I have other faults, but I am honest and I always try to adapt my behaviour for the better. I don't think anyone can really ask much more than that so I'll share any positive experiences or learning which I believe may help others. The reason I'm formally ending this journal is because I have feelings for someone new and I don't want to analyse or discuss them in detail. I feel like I owe this potentially new relationship a fresh approach and, certainly, the privacy it deserves. I think I'm falling for the girl I mentioned in previous entries, the one whom I share great chemistry with. I won't go into detail about what has happened so far, but I can't deny that my hopes are building. I'm trying to keep them under control. I'm keeping my expectations at a minimum and I continue to focus on my development and work. She is so witty, so kind, down to earth, accepting, genuinely attracted to and interested in me. She genuinely takes interest in my job and wow, she is beautiful, I mean really beautiful. Yes, I'm far more attracted to her than I have ever been to anyone else...in every way. It seems that the feeling is mutual. But I find myself cautioning myself. Don't take things too quickly. Don't declare undying love. On the other hand, don't be aloof. Don't play any games, not that games are my style anyway. But overall, have fun and go with the flow... Keep expectations to a minimum... Focus on yourself... So I'm keeping things balanced. Anyway, I just wanted to check in and not simply let this journal go without any form of closure. Hm, closure. Closure signifies an end, but this is more of a beginning to me. As cliche as it sounds, this feels like the beginning of the rest of my life now and, even if things with this new lady don't work out, I know I have a better approach to relationships now, dealing with any issues and, most importantly, looking after myself. Take care. I'll keep this journal linked in my signature. - Antinko Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 ant, good luck to you and very happy for you as well. thanks for all your openess, honesty and insight. Link to post Share on other sites
fetish1980 Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 antinko congratulations on your moving forward and allowing someone new into your life. I'm sorry to hear you're ending your journal. It's your decision but its a good way to keep up on your progress. Look at the situation with your new girl as a way of notating your progress and opening new chapters in your life. I don't know how much more private you can remain on a forum like this, but your decision to keep your privacy is respected. You sound like you're doing all the right things and definitely seem to have the right attitude. fetish Link to post Share on other sites
Author antinko Posted September 25, 2011 Author Share Posted September 25, 2011 So I'm not going into specifics, but I'm still dating this new girl and I'm developing feelings for her which are very much genuine. She seems to feel the same way... Anyway, I'm checking in because I want you to know that I now don't feel anything other than relief about my ex and her dumping me. It's been a roller coaster getting over her, but all I did was be honest to myself, listen to good advice and exercise some tough love when necessary. I firmly believe that, if you want to get better after being burned by a former partner, then you will if you can be true to yourself. If I hadn't come to Love Shack, then the healing process would have been delayed somewhat I think. I know I would have come to the same conclusions eventually, but it's been very helpful to hear from others about their situations and also reading sage advice from various members. Had a great weekend with this girl. We're taking things slow, we're communicating and neither of us want to rush things. I'm very happy right now and excited about where this might lead but I'm also pleased that I'm keeping my head screwed on tight still. The girl said something very similar actually. I really love the openness of communication we share - it's a new experience for me to have a partner who is equally as communicative. I'm continuing to self develop and the new school year has kicked off really well. I'm still broadening my horizons with different activities and I'm experiencing new things too. I'm concentrating on the present with this girl and enjoying whatever time I happen to have with her. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
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