AlanN Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 While I was checking my FB earlier I was searching for friends and my ex-gf came up as a suggestion. So before I could stop myself, I clicked on her FB page and I was bombarded with lots of new photos of her. When we broke up she asked me to make my FB private and she would do the same - which I did because I checked the day after we split up and her entire profile was private. She said this would make the breakup easier on her because she has a tendency to check my FB quite often even while we're apart and doesn't want to see me or my posts. So for the past 3 1/2 weeks I have had NC with her - no FB, No text, No email, No driving by her house or her by mine - I have neighbors who confirm that! We split up 6 weeks weeks ago and although we did see each other for a few hours in my car 3 1/2 weeks ago we have had NC before and after . That conversation was for some closure for me and her. She told me she wanted to marry me and have my baby (if she decides she wants kids) and I told her I couldn't promise her a child so we left it like that. We were together 3 1/2 years. Why would she make her FB public (except for her friends) if she told me she would make it private??? Is it just a game that she's playing??? Is she looking for a reaction? I'm not not opposed to seeing her again but just not to be back where we were when we split up. Link to post Share on other sites
lovesickmonkey Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Block Block Block. There you will find peace. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I think she just kinda gotten over you a little bit and so she tried to make things normal again. Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 How about this. Think about what is best for you and your situation and don't try to guess why she is doing anything. It has driven me crazy when I keep trying to analyze why she has done anything in this crazy mess I am going through. I know that when I focus on myself I feel better. When I focus on why she is doing anything that she has done there is not enough Xanax in the world. I know it is hard not to do it but try to work yourself away from the why's and etc. Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Block Block Block. There you will find peace. Unless you have a will power of steel that allows you to never lurk her site again...exactly what he said. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Block Block Block. There you will find peace. Unless you have a will power of steel that allows you to never lurk her site again...exactly what he said. Yep. My ex is still a Facebook buddy. No we haven't spoken and absolutely have I not looked at his site. He wants the break up, he can cut all the ties himself and the reason why this works for me is, I haven't taken to "stalking" through Facebook. No good comes out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 While I was checking my FB earlier I was searching for friends and my ex-gf came up as a suggestion. So before I could stop myself, I clicked on her FB page and I was bombarded with lots of new photos of her. When we broke up she asked me to make my FB private and she would do the same - which I did because I checked the day after we split up and her entire profile was private. She said this would make the breakup easier on her because she has a tendency to check my FB quite often even while we're apart and doesn't want to see me or my posts. So for the past 3 1/2 weeks I have had NC with her - no FB, No text, No email, No driving by her house or her by mine - I have neighbors who confirm that! We split up 6 weeks weeks ago and although we did see each other for a few hours in my car 3 1/2 weeks ago we have had NC before and after . That conversation was for some closure for me and her. She told me she wanted to marry me and have my baby (if she decides she wants kids) and I told her I couldn't promise her a child so we left it like that. We were together 3 1/2 years. Why would she make her FB public (except for her friends) if she told me she would make it private??? Is it just a game that she's playing??? Is she looking for a reaction? I'm not not opposed to seeing her again but just not to be back where we were when we split up. Not everyone does the facebook my space stuff. And I think were better off. Its way less stress on the whole breakup thing. I think its funny when I hear that people put on there..going to store..going to dinner now..or we broke up and he called me this or that then I said this...the whole thing is nuts if you really think about it..I guess what am saying is if you choose to be on there. You get what you get..delete delete. You can always put it back up later..Thats what one of my kids did after a bad breakup..smthing to think about...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlanN Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 I appreciate everyone's input on the FB thing and I have thought about blocking but never did. The more I've had NC the more I want closure and feel I need to say some things to her that have been bothering me. I know I should have stopped myself from checking her FB page but it's too late, but my question is still: Why would she make it public if it was private the day after we broke up??? My FB is still private as she requested. Is she trying to get a reaction from me? Is it a game to get me to call or email her? We both agreed to make the pages private this way it would be easier if either of us snooped! Thanks again.. Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I appreciate everyone's input on the FB thing and I have thought about blocking but never did. The more I've had NC the more I want closure and feel I need to say some things to her that have been bothering me. I know I should have stopped myself from checking her FB page but it's too late, but my question is still: Why would she make it public if it was private the day after we broke up??? My FB is still private as she requested. Is she trying to get a reaction from me? Is it a game to get me to call or email her? We both agreed to make the pages private this way it would be easier if either of us snooped! Thanks again.. You realize that no one can really answer this question for you, right? We aren't her... I'm going to be frank with you. You could drive yourself crazy asking these questions and trying to guess her intentions. And it's SO easy after a breakup to dwell and obsess on the other person in an attempt to keep some connection or hope alive that they still think and act in a way that is somehow directed at you (whether that be positively or negatively). Maybe she is doing to screw with you. Or, it's also entirely possible that it has nothing to do with you... Perhaps after a month she simply feels that you aren't likely to be trolling her FB account anymore and changed it. Or maybe she's just the attention-seeking type and can't stand not having her information out there for the whole world to see. Maybe she's looking for someone new. Maybe she was drunk and did it on impulse, and now doesn't even realize she's now public. The possibilities are endless... Whatever the reason, just realize that you've broken up and her actions/life/choices/etc no longer have anything to do with you...regardless of whether she's intending them to or not. Repeat after me - it just doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) I appreciate everyone's input on the FB thing and I have thought about blocking but never did. The more I've had NC the more I want closure and feel I need to say some things to her that have been bothering me. I know I should have stopped myself from checking her FB page but it's too late, but my question is still: Why would she make it public if it was private the day after we broke up??? My FB is still private as she requested. Is she trying to get a reaction from me? Is it a game to get me to call or email her? We both agreed to make the pages private this way it would be easier if either of us snooped! Thanks again.. Because she wanted to make her profile public even if it was private the day after your break-up. You can make yours not private if you want, just as she decided to not make hers private any longer. It's when you look for something beyond this very direct answer that becomes a problem. I can relate to you, but you need to take more active steps to back away from doing that. Why has my ex not deleted me as a Facebook friend? Because he hasn't. Any other answer beyond that is just assumptions for me and when I used to make them, that's when I hurt more and that's when the temptation to peek got stronger. I didn't act on them. I stopped gradually. It's possible to let it go. Don't get hung up on that detail. If you want to, you can break NC and ask her yourself, then you'll be quickly reminded of why NC's the better option for you at this time and probably the near future. Edited August 13, 2011 by 0hpenelope Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts