That_girl Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I've been seeing a therapist for the past little bit to deal with my abandonment issues. I've been getting more and more open with him over the last little bit. And recently it seems like his demeanor toward me has changed. I'm pretty sure it could be my imagination. But he's been telling me that I have to take care of the "little girl" in me that just wants somebody to love her. And I feel like he is looking into my soul when he says things like that. His tone changes, it becomes softer. And lately, he's been saying things to me like "you're an attractive girl, the only problem is that you haven't met a man yet...just boys". He complimented me on my hair yesterday too...asking me if I had changed it. Am I crazy? I'm somewhat attracted to him too, but I know this is just transference or whatever. He is a married man...actually, another weird thing is that while I was telling him about how guilty I felt about cheating on my first boyfriend, he told me that he cheated once too. What is HIS deal? Link to post Share on other sites
thehead Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 If you're feeling sexual tension, eliminate it by switching therapists. Switch to a female if that would make it more comfortable. The patient-doctor relationship needs to be solid. You're not going to get much out of therapy if you're spending energy wondering if the doctor's a creeper. Link to post Share on other sites
Author That_girl Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 I'm going to have to switch because yesterday he told me that he can't accommodate my work schedule anymore. He said that I can call him if I ever wanted to talk, but that he is too busy and can't work outside of the typical 9-5 week. I feel like he is telling the truth because i've only been seeing him in between those hours up until this point, but it's just kinda weird. Maybe he sensed some kind of attraction too? Link to post Share on other sites
TrueColors Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 (edited) Hi, That_girl, I was going to advise you to talk it over, but seeing as your sessions with him have ended, this doesn't seem relevant now. What I would say though is for you to read more about inner child work. That way you would be empowering yourself with a deeper understanding of this type of therapy and not solely relying on you therapist. I also believe this contributes to greater personal change and self awareness. Did your therapist recommend anyone else for you to see or does he work independently? I know that when my therapist left her practice, she gave me some options: to either continue with her or she could recommend me to someone else. Also, maybe consider getting a female therapist to avoid a similar scenario in the future? Edited August 12, 2011 by TrueColors Link to post Share on other sites
TrueColors Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 If you're feeling sexual tension, eliminate it by switching therapists. Switch to a female if that would make it more comfortable. The patient-doctor relationship needs to be solid. You're not going to get much out of therapy if you're spending energy wondering if the doctor's a creeper. I agree. The relationship, no matter how emotionally intimate, should be purely professional. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Reading what you said, he did kinda come off as sounding creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 It is actually extremely common for patients to have crushes on their therapists, therapists are well aware of this too. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 I've been seeing a therapist for the past little bit to deal with my abandonment issues. I've been getting more and more open with him over the last little bit. And recently it seems like his demeanor toward me has changed. I'm pretty sure it could be my imagination. But he's been telling me that I have to take care of the "little girl" in me that just wants somebody to love her. And I feel like he is looking into my soul when he says things like that. His tone changes, it becomes softer. And lately, he's been saying things to me like "you're an attractive girl, the only problem is that you haven't met a man yet...just boys". He complimented me on my hair yesterday too...asking me if I had changed it. Am I crazy? I'm somewhat attracted to him too, but I know this is just transference or whatever. He is a married man...actually, another weird thing is that while I was telling him about how guilty I felt about cheating on my first boyfriend, he told me that he cheated once too. What is HIS deal? Therapists are bound by a strict ethical guideline to maintain a professional relationship with a client and not let it get amorous. If they let a therapeutic relationship become romantic, they could lose their license. He may just be trying to be supportive, but you do have to be aware of not crossing a boundary with him. If it continues, I would suggest that you transfer to another therapist, preferably a woman. I think when people are baring their soul, their dreams, their insecurities, their innermost thoughts to someone, it can, not only, elicit strong feelings for a therapist who is empathetic, but also can elicit feelings from the therapist for the client that are beyond professional. Therapists are trained to guard against that, but a few do cross that line into unprofessional behavior. If you continue to sense something more than professional therapy, I would suggest you transfer to a female therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
RebuiltNJ Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Since we're on the subject, I had a similar circumstance however it was my daughters therapist. I had been taking her to a lot of appts and there were a few minor issues and I spoke to the therapist on the phone a few times. We then started texting to confirm appts, follow up, etc and those seemed to get more and more informal. In one post session discussion she told me she was going through a divorce as well. I distanced myself and started splitting appts with my ex. I thought my suspicions were confirmed when she viewed my profile on a dating site. She is a great therapist and my daughter loves her, but I am sure it would be wrong for me to pursue anything. Too bad tho, she is a great lady. Link to post Share on other sites
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