Is a girl a b*tch if she will not date a shorter guy?

[ptp]

Not the same as talking about breasts, but polite people don't talk about breast size or penis size out of the blue. To me, it's the same as saying, "I don't date blondes." I've definitely told a guy that, even though it's hyperbole. I'm not anti-dating blondes; I just rarely find them attractive, and when you're speaking, we often shorten. (In my case, it's be a playful, "Aw, thanks for the offer, but I don't generally go for the blonde boys" or something because that's my style.)

 

The OP is stating it in relation to a conversation where it came up. The breast size thing is rude because it's rude to talk about someone's breasts, period. Totally different reason.

 

Right but, then blonde isn't a preference for you, it is a deal breaker. A preference is some you prefer but not a necessity. While a deal breaker is something that prevents you from dating someone.

 

I have a preference for women with blonde hair, small butts and big breasts, I can date a woman who isn't that.

 

A deal breaker for me is obesity I am not going to date a woman who is obese regardless of anything else.

 

Height vs breasts...

 

It only seems ruder to you because now we are talking about a female short coming vs a male short coming.

 

Height and breasts, both are physical attributes that can't be changed without surgery.

 

A girl telling a guy he has no shot because he is too short is just as hurtful as a guy telling a girl she has no shot because she has small breasts.

 

Look IMO the guy was an idiot for asking "would you date me" but the OPs response lacked tact.

[zengirl]

You're missing my point about breasts. Breasts seem rude to me because they're considered an inappropriate part of the body to show in public and related to sex by some. If it were a nudist colony or something, it'd be fine to talk about them, but anything I can't show in general public, don't talk to me about unless you know me pretty well. We can all see your height in public.

 

Right but, then blonde isn't a preference for you, it is a deal breaker. A preference is some you prefer but not a necessity. While a deal breaker is something that prevents you from dating someone.

 

It's not a dealbreaker. If I saw a hot guy who was blond (eh, maybe Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting but without the attitude?), I'd go out with him, but I do have an "idea" of my preferences in my head and it's solely a list of all the guys I've ever found hot before, almost none of whom are blond and even the blonds look better with dark hair to me. No biggie. It doesn't mean they're chiseled in stone.

 

Dealbreakers to me are things that, even if I really like a guy, I'll stay away from, and none of those are looks-based. If I like the way a guy looks, I do. And that's instant. Dealbreakers are things you find out later that 'break the deal.' But that's just my view of them.

[ptp]

You're missing my point about breasts. Breasts seem rude to me because they're considered an inappropriate part of the body to show in public and related to sex by some. If it were a nudist colony or something, it'd be fine to talk about them, but anything I can't show in general public, don't talk to me about unless you know me pretty well. We can all see your height in public.

You are drawing an arbitrary distinction.

 

If a girl comes up to me and says "would you date me?" and I reply "No because your face is not attractive"

 

Is that less rude? Her face is "shown in general public", "we can all see her face in public". So according to you that should be less rude than telling her no because of her small breasts? Well I don't agree with that.

 

If you are rejection someone and the reason you give them is a physical attribute that can't be changed it is rude and causes a lot of pain. Whether it be a man's height, breasts size, butt size etc... it doesn't matter they are all equally rude and I would never suggest saying them.

 

It's not a dealbreaker. If I saw a hot guy who was blond (eh, maybe Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting but without the attitude?), I'd go out with him, but I do have an "idea" of my preferences in my head and it's solely a list of all the guys I've ever found hot before, almost none of whom are blond and even the blonds look better with dark hair to me. No biggie. It doesn't mean they're chiseled in stone.

 

Dealbreakers to me are things that, even if I really like a guy, I'll stay away from, and none of those are looks-based. If I like the way a guy looks, I do. And that's instant. Dealbreakers are things you find out later that 'break the deal.' But that's just my view of them.

 

I have already complimented you before because, I think you are very smart but, if that statement is true that makes me like you even more.

 

but enough sucking up.

 

The point is blonde/non-blonde hair is a preference for you, not a deal breaker because it is conceivable you would date a guy with blonde hair. However, this is not the same as the OP saying "I don't date guys who are shorter than me".

 

The OP is saying under no circumstance would she date a guy who is shorter than her and thus making height not a preference but rather a deal breaker and that is what I was originally trying to point out to you.

Edited August 13, 2011 by ptp

[zengirl]

You are drawing an arbitrary distinction.

 

If a girl comes up to me and says "would you date me?" and I reply "No because your face is not attractive"

 

Is that less rude? Her face is "shown in general public", "we can all see her face in public".

 

Yeah, less rude. I'm okay with that, actually, but it has to do with my socialization being more varied.

 

BTW, I'm not saying the OP wasn't a bit socially impolite. I said in another thread though discussing appearances has some weird taboos in Western society it doesn't have in others. So, it's really more societal than anything. But being socially impolite doesn't make her a bitch. And it wasn't the preference; it was the phrasing.

 

If you are rejection someone and the reason you give them is a physical attribute that can't be changed it is rude and causes a lot of pain. Whether it be a man's height, breasts size, butt size etc... it doesn't matter.

 

Oh, I'm not disagreeing it could cause pain, but I actually think it's just as lame to lead people on. It's good to be vague though, "I'm not attracted to you" always works. But the guy in the OP sounds like the type who'd get all frustrated with that and ask why. And if someone asks me why, I'm going to tell him. Just me. Normally, though, I don't come out and say why.

 

I'm just saying her thought process isn't wrong. Her phrasing was perhaps a bit callous, totally. But she doesn't seem to have meant it to be, and he kind of trapped her into it.

 

The point is blonde/non-blonde hair is a preference for you, not a deal breaker because it is conceivable you would date a guy with blonde hair. However, this is not the same as the OP saying "I don't date guys who are shorter than me".

 

Eh, girls say stuff like that all the time which pans out to be untrue. What I see her saying is, "I cannot imagine being attracted to a man that is shorter than me."

 

If someday she is attracted to one, she'll be able to imagine it. If she never is, she won't.

[ptp]

Well I guess we are just different because face,height boobs, makes no difference to me. It is all equally rude, all very hurtful and something I would never dream of saying to a woman.

 

I do not think OP is "bitch" because I don't think she was trying to be malicious and the guy was an idiot to ask the question without being prepared to handle the response.

 

Having said that, IMO the OP lacked a little compassion by saying his height was the reason. Just say "we don't have chemistry" and leave it that.

[lovedeep]

Have not had a chance to read all post, so if I repeat something that was said sorry.

 

I am pretty tall and prefer a taller guy myself. I do not see anything wrong with it having preferences. I know guys that will only date blonde blued women, know guys that will only date petite skinny girls. So if a guy can be picky about who he would and wouldn't date why are we called b*tches or other names if we express our prference?

Kinda goes back to the difference stereotyping between male and female i.e male that sleep around or dates multiple girls as a player or "the man", but a female doing the same thing called a skank or ho.

Edited August 13, 2011 by lovedeep

[xoxoDaniellexoxo]

Well I guess we are just different because face,height boobs, makes no difference to me. It is all equally rude, all very hurtful and something I would never dream of saying to a woman.

 

I do not think OP is "bitch" because I don't think she was trying to be malicious and the guy was an idiot to ask the question without being prepared to handle the response.

 

Having said that, IMO the OP lacked a little compassion by saying his height was the reason. Just say "we don't have chemistry" and leave it that.

 

 

I agree, I think it would be hurtful to say no because you are short, NOT HIS FAULT! But I think it is something that most women would consider to be a dealbreaker. I honestly probably wouldn't care after the 2nd date, at first yeah it would bug me but I don't wear heels that often any way!! Then again I am a midget at 5'3" so most people are taller than me!! It would be hurtful though if someone told me I won't date you because you have shorter hair, or gold eyes, I would be hurt!!

[zengirl]

Well I guess we are just different because face,height boobs, makes no difference to me. It is all equally rude, all very hurtful and something I would never dream of saying to a woman.

 

I do not think OP is "bitch" because I don't think she was trying to be malicious and the guy was an idiot to ask the question without being prepared to handle the response.

 

Having said that, IMO the OP lacked a little compassion by saying his height was the reason. Just say "we don't have chemistry" and leave it that.

 

Oh, I'd never say it either, as it's impolite, but I was just saying she wasn't a bitch is all. And that I disagreed on some definitions of preferences and dealbreakers and the like.

 

Though if a guy asked me, "Am I too short for you to date?" and I felt like the answer was "Yes," I think that'd be fair. Just don't ask that ****!

[Negative Nancy]

Damn right.

 

Any woman who refuses to date a guy because he is shorter, (but still a normal non-dwarf height) is a shallow bitch.

 

yeeeeeeeaaaah.....the same way guys are jerks for not dating fatties....

[Negative Nancy]

Just to make things clear, I am not joking.

 

I am a 5'6 and I have had extreme trouble with women.

 

No woman has ever told me that she rejected me because I'm not tall. But if a girl ever even hints it to me, I will give her an ear-full.

 

It is completely unfair being an otherwise completely normal dude but because of God deciding to make me short, causes me to be unattractive to women.

 

A short guy is often compared to a fat girl because both are considered unattractive to the opposite gender. The key difference is that there isn't a damn thing outside of painful and expensive surgery that a guy can do to get taller.

 

deal with it. millions of girls go thru painful surgery every day just to be more appealing to men because men have set ridiculous standards of how boobs are supposed to look like or how wrinkle-free a face should be.

 

not me though. and even if you were 6"2 the females here probably wouldn't date you cos your negative repulsive attitude reeks through every post. i mean look at that vin diesel wannabe poster (forgot his name, but it was something with ayediesel or so), supposedly he's a good-looking non-short dude (not by my standars, but by others) with plenty of chicks in real life, yet his posts made him unattractive to the majority of women here.

 

we can't help what we're attracted to. a guy doesn't need to be tall, but at least taller than the girl. and he must not have a negative, self-pity attitude. we want a man at our side, not another child. just like every guy wants a good-looking woman, we want a confident man who has his ***** together.

Edited August 13, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[Negative Nancy]

Also even the women who don’t think they like “black” guys or “short” guys or “fat” guys or “bearded” guys could still end up with a “short black fat bearded” guy. Then the girl just says something like “I never thought I’d date a guy like my current bf, he’s special though and I like him better then any other guy.”

 

that's true. i'm usually into the short-hair, tattooed, fit guys, but once i ended up with a long-haired metalhead with a potbelly (ok, he was tall and had tattoos too but had i seen him on the streets without knowing him, i would have ignored him) and he was one of my few relationships that i had the strongest feelings for. parts of his personality were so awesome that i was incredibly attracted to him...beyond words. my god, i was so in love ... not as much as with my current boyfriend, of course , but an individual can indeed alter or at least override your usual preference.

[Woggle]

Women go through all their beauty regiments to impress other women instead of impressing men. Women are much harder on each other about looks than men are towards them. Despite what people think men are actually not as shallow as people think we are. Most men are actually very turned off by the plastic look.

 

As for being short don't worry about it. Women who have the need to feel small because otherwise they don't feel secure are not the type you want anyway.

[Negative Nancy]

Short guy is just like an ugly girl. Is it fair for a perfectly nice girl to go loveless because her eyes are crooked, nose is off center, etc. And you contradicted yourself when you said a girl sho rejects a non-dwarf guy is shallow. Can the oompa loompa control his height any more than you? Just get over the idea life owes you anything: food, water women health, whatever. Many people go without any/all of these. You live in a first world country for chrissake. Count you blessings man.

 

exactly. very good posting.

[Negative Nancy]

BTW somedude you ever consider foreign? Many places in asia/latin america im sure the average height is closer to where you're at. Not to mention your american passport will make you a local celebrity of sorts. You live once man. Don't other people's judgements affect you and do what makes you happy. If you want women and cant get them here it's only logical to look elsewhere... Or you can continue moping and living in quiet desperation

 

the asian women probably have too small boobs for somedude cos as he has admitted numerous times on here, he is into big lucy-pinder-like knockers. how shallow.... ...oh wait, if HE has preferences then of course it's something else entirely and he's NOT a jerk. but women are bitches....yeah

[xoxoDaniellexoxo]

Women go through all their beauty regiments to impress other women instead of impressing men. Women are much harder on each other about looks than men are towards them. Despite what people think men are actually not as shallow as people think we are. Most men are actually very turned off by the plastic look.

 

As for being short don't worry about it. Women who have the need to feel small because otherwise they don't feel secure are not the type you want anyway.

 

I agree about looking good to other women!! Thank god that my teenage years I was surronded by my brother and his friends helping my dad with football practices and games and I started by wearing makeup and at least my hair nice, then after a week it was no makeup and hair either in a ponytail or just wet from out of the shower. I am happy that I had those experiences with guys when I was 15+ because it taught me a lot!! Now I go out with no makeup(and I can't put my hair in a ponytail cause of how long it is) and now I don't care!! I will run basic errands in jeans and a tee with no makeup and possibly glasses.

 

As for being small, it is nice but sometimes it sucks!! I used to want to be taller, but it's kinda fun cause people underestimate how fiesty I can be!! Being small became handy when me and my brother got into fights cause I could jump away faster

[somedude81]

the asian women probably have too small boobs for somedude cos as he has admitted numerous times on here, he is into big lucy-pinder-like knockers. how shallow.... ...oh wait, if HE has preferences then of course it's something else entirely and he's NOT a jerk. but women are bitches....yeah

Cool, you know who she is. Though her boobs are considered small now based on what other girls online have. If you ain't an H, get the hell out.

 

Now back to real life.

 

As long as a girl is a B that's enough for me. Of course I prefer larger boobs as that is what I am most attracted to. But I wouldn't pass up a girl just because she isn't big.

 

And, I would never tell a girl that her boobs are too small for me.

 

BTW, I have pursued Asian women and they had normal sized breasts.

[Tasha49]

So tasha , you said Haha he definitley thought you were making fun and be littling him, but it was his mistake to call you a bitch. He is clearly having a hard time accepting being 5'4" which is not that short I am 5'7" I love my height though cus im very fast and strong pound for pound and have never lost a fight or a race

 

since he's not just some random guy you dont know you should make sure he understands that you don't want to date him so you don't experience drama down the road. Cus rright now he's probably jaming "to don't stop believing " , planning how he is going to win you back lol.

 

I figured the "haha" was actually necessary because I didn't want him to think I was being mean. I thought saying 'haha' in the text would make the tone sound a little less direct and rude. Better than saying something like "I don't really feel chemistry with you and I think dating shorter men is weird."

 

Adding a haha in the end lets someone know I am not being mean. I don't know... maybe I am confusing lol.

[Tasha49]

Update:

 

I messaged him on Facebook last night and said I didn't mean to upset him and asked if he ever planned on talking to me again. He actually did reply at least.

 

His reply:

 

"Um well to be honest, I dont know what too think right now. I always though you were one of the sweetest most caring, beautiful people. And not wanting to date a men who is shorter than you just makes you a bitch. I though you were better then that. I don't know if I can be a friend to some one who is that arrogant."

 

I didn't reply... because he made me a little irritated.

[Tasha49]

This thread is BS. Its ok for her to be honest but god forbid he be honest back. She didnt need to say that to a supposed friend when she knows he has issues on his height or else he wouldnt be asking about it.

 

And no I am not short so I dont have any personal agenda in this but if was messed up and both side got the reaction that was to be expected.

 

That is insane. He NEVER ever said he had any insecurities with his height. So I never thought it was a big deal. And we were in a playful conversation and I answered his question with HONESTY and didn't say it rudely. Then he flipped out.

 

It would be deservinf if I had said "Never. YOU'RE too short and it would feel weird. And I don't like you anyway."

 

I said it in a nice way IMO. What was I supposed to do... lie?

[somedude81]

It sounds that he really liked you.

 

And not only did you reject him, which really hurts when strong feelings are involved, you also hurt his ego by addressing an area that he is insecure about. Basically a double whammy.

 

At this point I think your friendship is over.

 

It might be a good idea to send him one more message saying that you can't spend any more time with him or something like that. That would help both of you to move on.

[Tasha49]

As a tall guy i saw first hand the attraction of being tall i think its two things

 

One: women want to look small and dainty,theyve been programmed all their whole life that they have to look small and a shorter guy automatically gives them insecure feelings from the start about themselves so thats already a negative before knowing the guy

 

two: women are dirty pieces of **** just like Men and their first thoughts are about the bedroom..most women are submissive and the feeling of being towered over makes them fele like they can easily be dominated in the bedroom which is what most are lookign for

 

This could be true to a lot of women preferring taller men. However for me, there is nothing sexual about it. And my initial thought when first seeing a guy is nothing sexual ever. I don't all of a sudden picture him naked on top of me lol.

 

The height thing just makes me feel secure as a lot of people have brought it up. I can't help what I find attractive. It just happens. I am not saying short men are disgusting and avoidable. I am just saying I prefer taller men.

[somedude81]

I am not saying short men are disgusting and avoidable. I am just saying I prefer taller men.

Have you ever dated a man your height or shorter?

[Tasha49]

It sounds that he really liked you.

 

And not only did you reject him, which really hurts when strong feelings are involved, you also hurt his ego by addressing an area that he is insecure about. Basically a double whammy.

 

At this point I think your friendship is over.

 

It might be a good idea to send him one more message saying that you can't spend any more time with him or something like that. That would help both of you to move on.

 

I can understand his insecurity but not his reaction. He acts lije I just punched him down below and called him midget boy. He asked a question about dating someone shorter (which just happened to be him), and I said no because it feels weird. I mean if I had said no because short men are gross I would understand. I guess I just should have said I don't know, since he was short.

 

Lol I just can't win I guess.

 

Shorter men are good people too. Just as good of a person as a taller guy. It's just not for me though. Just as fat girls are not for some men. Or women who are too skinny.

 

I know some men who have turned my friend down because she is 5'10" and although that sucks for her... I guess that is how the world works at times.

[Tasha49]

You are a b*tch not because of your dating preferences but because of your lack of tact and class. For example, I would never date a black woman (I think they look gross), but I would never state that directly. That's just bad manners.

 

I have plenty of class and very good manners.

 

He ASKED that since he was short if I would date him. And I said no. If he had just asked if I would date and I tild him no because he's short... well tbat is another story.

[Tasha49]

Have you ever dated a man your height or shorter?

 

My first bf was the same height. MAYBE barely taller. I didn't mind it. Because i didn't have to look down on him. I seriously can't help feeling out of place by having to look down to a guy. It makes me feel like the guy and he the girl. I hate how it makes me feel weird but I honestly can't help that.