jeff2321 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 So here I am on a Friday night at home by myself again. Trying to keep myself busy with the internet, PS3, and movies. My mind is no longer focusing on her, but life just hasn't been the same with out her -- I know her, she's out partying it up and having a great time. She had a huge family as well with three fun teenage sisters she can pal around with. My family is non-existant with my brother in and out of jail the last year and getting slapped with a felony. Sure it could be worse... I could be dying of cancer, unemployed, or in a plethora of other bad situations. I'm financially secure and I have a good job which is something that a lot of people can't say right now. How do you get over it? how do you just let go of it all? I still wake up and she's not there and it just kills me .... Sigh, JEff2321 Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Hey Jeff, Hang in there mate. I too am isolated 80% of the time. Ur right it COULD be worse, look at what u DO have. Job, money, freedom, a PS3 obviously..MAINLY health. Improve it. All the money and pu$$y in the world is no good if ur fu(kin dead. U are right. Its hard as the dumpee to gain a positive menatality surrounding who u are now, and what u enjoy doing, since most of ur previous existance revolved around enjoying life with her. I feel the family thing. I think, fu(k, if they dont care enough of me, why waste my mentality even considering them. It is painful as to do, but after enough tears mate, I feel much better. Theyre just people. Selfish people. Soon enough, without searching for it, pple start comin into ur life who really care for u, some u never knew existed. I had this happen today. I read another post telling, she is out staying busy to the max, cos if she becomes idle, reality WILL set in for her.... She knows she fu(ked up, but wont have to deal with it aslong as shes busy/distracted. So do the same, stay busy. Have u got any mates/colleagues u know of who dont associate with her or know of ur situation??? Hit em up, n do *****, anything. Go out for dinner etc. I hate socialising, but after this Im FORCED to, it does help. Somebody, anybody just to sit and talk with, about the way grass grows etc. At the end of the day YOU WILL become mentally superior to the person u were before this happened. To me, thats priceless. U can't buy it. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 You may want to consider some form of counseling. Being able to talk things out and make plans with a trained professional can be very helpful. Sounds like things definitely aren't all bad, though! Keep up the good work. Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 (edited) Hang in there Jeff... I too this september will be one year after she dumped me, and like you i know my ex is likely to be out in her so-called glamoruos life of partys, big family and so on (while being broke hoping to "catch a man with a big wallet" btw ).. so i definetely know how you feel. I have been feeling really tired or the last two weeks, like i need to take two or trhee naps a day and i know this is depression showing because she dumped me on sep 28, and because soon it will be my birthday... but like another poster said, when it's time we'll heal 100% and we will be SO much stronger mentally... strong enough to ignore our exes if they ever do come back. You have the right state of mind on being thankful for having a good job, money in the bank and above all health... i too i'm doing well in work, and we have to be thankful for that, not onle because of the money but because we get to have our minds occupied on something... it would be so devastating to sit around the couch all day long watching tv. As far as what to do: the obvious. TOTAL NC , no facebook, no messenger, no looking at her site at all... i did the stupid thing to type her name on youtube to see if a new video of her would show up (shes a tv host) luckily... i mean really lucky for me there was absolutely nothing new as of one year from today, i took it ass God giving me a slap on the wrist but warning me that next time i'll see something that would be in my mind for months... so stay NC at all time bro. Another thing i did and definetely DOESNT WORK is to go around sleeping with as many girls as possible... if you dont really find them attractive you'll end up missing you ex even more... i have slept with a lot of easy girls and the next days im devastated. Work as hard as you can bro, save money and when the right one comes along give yourself a well deserved gift and travel to your favorite destination with her... we are here in the meantime! Edited August 13, 2011 by ccfan Link to post Share on other sites
Author jeff2321 Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 She's probably married now... I cried when I found out... I have been shaking all day. I know I didn't treat her good enough and the regret is hitting me hard again. Damn why did I do a stupid internet search? I guess now I know what kind of guy I am... Jeff B Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Marriages in this country have a 50/50 chance of success in the best of circumstances. But seriously, consider talking to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Felixtheecat Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I'm sorry to hear your pain. I agree with the idea that you should think about talking to someone (professional) about your feelings. It helps. My ex of 2 1/2 years let me know she's dating this week. It's not quite the same as her marrying someone, but still hurt my heart. It's been my perspective that 2 1/2 years should warrant a 2nd chance if we're both working on each other, but after 3 1/2 months of being broken up she still ain't hearing it. We gotta take care of ourselves bro, by all means necessary Link to post Share on other sites
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