Cassandra92 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Does anybody else find the weekends really hard when you are dealing with a break up? Granted, I've been dealing with mine a while. About 8 months, although a whole lot has happened between us since then. No contact for almost 2 months now though, and I know this is absolutely the best thing for me. But when it comes to the weekend, all of my good friends are off with their significant others and I basically spend the time alone. It's horrible. I am especially aware of my loneliness when I'm surrounded by other people who are happily coupled, doing all of the things I used to do, and that's when I spiral the most. I can try to catch up on assignments or watch movies but I feel distracted the whole time. I don't think I've really been able to relax since the break up. I've started to dread the end of the week because of this, and I hate to feel this way. Link to post Share on other sites
sleepykitten Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Hi cass Yep, same here, its been 3 mths for me, the first ones were the worst especially sundays, all i did was smoke, watch movies, wander round the shops but constanly feeling this heavy sad feeling! Bit better a few mths on, maybe join a social network or something in the uk theres one called city socialising its not a dating site, just lots of people in similar situations that want to meet new people and get out and about be it an eve, day time etc and lots of groups and socials organised daily. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Oh yeh, totally - I hate the idea that Friday and Saturday night, even Sunday maybe, my ex is probably with her new guy and I live less than a mile away. I'm trying my best to block her out of my mind... Link to post Share on other sites
Steven T Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Yeah it's hard! Especially today as it's her birthday Been 2 months NC. Link to post Share on other sites
california15 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 ugh I hated weekends in the beginning. Dreaded them like the dentist. Now I'm coming around. Baby steps though. Weekend days aren't so bad. Weekend nights are still bothersome and I don't like going to bed alone regardless of what night it is. But I think its natural. Easier said than done, and also cliche, but keep yourself busy. You have a life too! Don't worry so much about what they're doing. you deserve to enjoy the weekend as well. you mentioned assignments or movies. Are you doing this alone? do you have siblings or roommates or friends you could hangout with so you're not alone during those weekend activities? How about volunteering on a weekend? Getting out of the apartment. Like I said, easier said than done and I still struggle with the weekends. Be patient with yourself. Before you know it you'll be at work saying TGIF the weekend is here!! instead of ah s**t its the weekend... Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I don't know why, but Friday nights are the worst for me. I can sit in front of my computer, clean my house, or do whatever else to stay home bound on Saturdays and have no problems at all. But Fridays, for whatever reason, are the most haunting and emotionally charged of the weekend. Weird, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 yeah me too. lucky me i m still in school so i go out to see some plays and work on homework. it is an excellent me night when i can massage my feet, and work on some project. I like to use weekends to get ahead so it works for me. sometimes i hang out with some guy friends. they are single so they can hang out with me. maybe you can just go out. really. do an adventure by yourself. go to wherever as long as it is new to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cassandra92 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Thanks for your thoughts everybody. I do live with friends but they are all in relationships so this is quite upsetting me for sometimes, though I try to be happy for them. I'm also living in a new city so there are lots of new things for me to do and I will try to take advantage of this more. Just finding the motivation can be difficult sometimes when all I feel like doing is wallowing. And I totally get the Friday thing as well, they are especially hard for me too. Also I don't mind being completely alone as much as I mind being around other people who are busy with their own things. Just a weird quirk I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
light_vader Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) Hello there. Imma be harsh as I used to be the kind of person that wouldn't mind "dying" for a chance with my ex. Countless sleepless nights of tragedy and suffering. But not anymore. ... and I basically spend the time alone. It's horrible. I think your problem is that you're not comfortable with your own self. You need to basically LOVE yourself first and be able to do things on your own, enjoy life and that way you'll be able to give a lot of things in the future to your friends, new couple, and so on. If the idea of being alone is terrible for you, then there is still a lot of work (self-improvement) to be done. I understand you, as 99% of the human population is just like that. My workmates cannot believe I can actually go to the movies alone or just sit on a bench in a mall to read a book. Maybe I'm just not the average human being but the advance I've made on these 4 months since the terrible day has been so unbelievable I find the courage everyday to keep moving on and thinking what a "beast" I will be in the future, only being able to enjoy life and living real, healthy relationships. So it's up to you, if you wanna be "just like the rest" or take the plunge and start shifting your mindset towards a more positive "I can enjoy life by myself". Otherwise I'm afraid you will return you your ex (if any chance there is) or in the future you WONT have a healthy relationship, based on your inability to spend sometime with the best person in the world, YOURSELF (that is, being unable to say goodbye or end the relationship out of fear of being "alone" once again). Remember that a healthy relationship involves TWO parallel lives that cross their paths continuously. NOT a single one like you normally see. And I should know, because I was there (I lost my identity, was unable to do anything if it wasn't with her, and so on). Have a nice week Edited August 15, 2011 by light_vader Link to post Share on other sites
Diatribes Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I think your problem is that you're not comfortable with your own self. You need to basically LOVE yourself first and be able to do things on your own, enjoy life and that way you'll be able to give a lot of things in the future to your friends, new couple, and so on. If the idea of being alone is terrible for you, then there is still a lot of work (self-improvement) to be done. This should be a rule of thumb. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts