Radagast Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 My X has a job at a local college, which she got on the strength of my having a word with the former head of department, who is a friend of mine. I was visiting my sister, who lives nearby, and she told me of a colleague who was registered for a CPD qualification at the college. Apparently the colleague had attended a contact session at the college along with some classmates recently. They had arrived at the college at the time stated on the letter they had received from the college notifying them of the session, and found the building locked. An hour later my X arrived and yelled at them for arriving "early" and embarrassing her in front of her supervisor. She ignored them when they pointed out that they had been given that time in their letters, and demanded to see the work they had produced. Apparently she was in a foul mood and was really mean to them. My sister's colleague was called back and asked about her employment history (this was related to the work they had submitted). She was then asked if she knew my sister. She said she did, and went to to speak highly of my sister and the work they did together, but was cut off by my X who got up and opened the door and motioned for her to leave. She didn't understand what was going on, and so she phoned my sister later to ask if she knew this woman and why she reacted in that way. My sister mentioned that it was her XSIL, but was still shocked at the lack of professionalism and suggested to her colleague that she take it up with the college. My sister has registered for the course - before she knew my X was involved - and is now worried about how she will be treated. I suggested she mention the relationship to the enrollment tutor and ask to be graded by someone else, given the incident which shows an inability to separate private from professional conduct. My X is now furious with me for interfering with her career and is blaming me for her getting into trouble at work. I have ignored her messages and emails as I have no wish to have anything more to do with this woman now that our children have finished school and moved on, but I wish she would not take out whatever issues she may still hold against me, against my family. She has had three years to come to terms with the divorce, after all. Ought I to have a word with my friend - who is no longer my X's direct line manager, but has been promoted into a more senior position, about this situation? I am concerned that she may be protecting my X out of some loyalty to me, seeing as I had asked her to consider my X for the job, and want to assure her that I understand her need to treat my X as she would any other employee who requires disciplinary action. (My X was dismissed from her previous position because of unprofessional conduct, but towards a colleague rather than a client.) Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Wow. It's very likely your friend stopped having loyalty to this woman when the ties were severed, but who knows? She will likely dig her own grave, and I really don't think any advice I have to give will really help - and you already know what the right decision is, and you don't me to tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Radagast Posted August 16, 2011 Author Share Posted August 16, 2011 Thank you. As it happens, I bumped into my friend at a social event on the weekend. I didn't mention the issue at all, but as I was leaving she asked me if <my sis> was my sister, which I confirmed. She said she'd seen her name on the new intake, and looked forward to seeing her around. So I guess the door is open should my sister need to take the issue up. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts