Felixtheecat Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 I had been using a hypnotherapy to begin working on aspects of myself which brought my last relationship to ruin. Issues that had needed to be resolved for a while and finally cost me something too dear to have let go of. Well after 3 1/2 months my ex let me know earlier this week that she's been "dating people". When she announced this to me it completely took all the wind out of my sails to continue trying to get her back. I'm now thinking of using the hypnotherapy technique to help move past her. Even though I believe there's the possibility that one day her and I can have worked on ourselves enough and crossed paths with different outlooks and gotten back together I know that this line of thinking is pointless right now and harmful. After hearing her about her dating from her I feel almost as I did when she left me. Additionally i'm feeling a lot of regrets about things I did wrong in the relationship. Frankly I just want to feel normal. I tried going out with some friends last night at a club. I just felt like crap the whole time and had no interest in the women. I guess I was just looking for distraction or to not get even with her, but to even things up in my mind and start seeing other women. As a result of all of this i'm thinking of using the hypnotherapy to try to move past this situation so that I can just be happy an continue working on my flaws. I know that the technique won't wipe memories from my mind. What it does is help change the beliefs about whatever ideas the user chooses. I guess what my question is whether it's important to experience the loss and the pain and naturally work through it or just to try to bypass it as soon as possible? Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Have you ever seen 'Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind'? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Felixtheecat Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Absolutely. I love that film. I don't think i'd want to go to that extreme even if it was possible, but still a great movie. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Well, the moral of the story was that the hard and painful way was not only the best way - but the necessary way for people to grow and develop as... well... people. Don't shortchange yourself this good suffering. Use it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Felixtheecat Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 I guess I never caught that. I suppose all I saw by the end was the irony of the whole situation and that their love was potentially fated. Your view certainly comes across now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Felixtheecat Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Well I decided to use the technique (intensively) towards a part of the break up. I focused it on the pain of my ex saying that "she has no desire to continue this relationship" and "doesn't think that we'd work". I also used it to get past the idea of her dating other people. I did this all last night. I tried to not mess with any other feelings of love or care for her in case things could ever work out. This was the first time I used the technique and it's effects seemed so noticeable. Hard feeling to explain. Almost like waves of water crashing against a wall. There's some emotional pressure and every once in a while the crashing waves send droplets of pain over the wall. I think that some of that some of what i'm feeling is anxiety. I've always had high anxiety and i'm going to try to work on it tonight. At least in regards to the anxiety I feel over the break up. I'm not trying to short change myself the pain of what made the relationship come to an end, but as far as moving past the loss of my ex this was something I needed to do. This past weekend my fear of her sleeping with someone else led me to drive past her apartment just to see if her car was there around midnight. When it wasn't I panicked and deduced that she could be staying at her parents. When I reached her parents house sure enough her car was there. Her apartment (formerly both of ours) is really close to where I live, but I drove 15 minutes out and another 15 back just to check her parents house. This behavior is insane. It's crazy. I don't wish to be a stalker. I knew as I was making these drives that I was going to get very few answers or much solace. Frankly if she knew that I did this she might cut communication from me for good and I wouldn't blame her. Additionally I came to the decision this week that I was officially going NC and couldn't pursue her anymore in the interest for healing and working on myself. Obviously this is completely counter productive behavior. I feel embarrassed about my actions. I needed it to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
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