Seeing a woman who doesn't like uncircumcised, might be a deal breaker for her

[MrNate]

Enough with the deep analysis.

 

 

Did you slap her with it yet?

[OliveOyl]

I didn't circ my son. It's just unnecessary, IMHO.

 

Most Europeans aren't circ'd and they do fine.

I'd actually prefer an intact man but most Americans are still circ'd.

 

In California they were trying to get a bill on the ballot to make circumcision illegal, but obviously strong religious groups prevented it from making headway.

[Cypress25]

Just FYI, to those posters who have claimed that men never regret being circumcised as infants, there is actually a growing social movement of men who DO regret being circumcised, who actively protest routine infant circumcision and do community outreach to educate people who just accept circumcision as normal. There are men who have sought methods to "regenerate" or stretch out a new foreskin, and there are men who claim they have recovered painful memories of being circumcised in their infancy. There is also a growing consensus among the more progressive medical and scientific community that circumcision is inadvisable on a routine basis.

 

Haha that's really sad. And there's no way they have any memory of being circumcised as an infant. I'm guessing these men live in a country where circumcision is not common, so they feel embarrassed by it because they're different. If they lived in a place where it was common, they wouldn't care. You know, like the way short guys feel insecure when they're surrounded by tall guys.

 

To the OP, if you want to do it for yourself, then maybe you should look into it. I think you're supposed to roll the foreskin back before you put a condom on, but if it's still in the way, ask your doctor about the possibility of a circumcision. You'll get better information from a doctor than from a bunch of uncut guys on the internet saying "No, don't cut off part of your dick, you'll regret it!" That's an emotional reaction, and what you need is facts and information.

[Asics]

Haha that's really sad. And there's no way they have any memory of being circumcised as an infant. I'm guessing these men live in a country where circumcision is not common, so they feel embarrassed by it because they're different. If they lived in a place where it was common, they wouldn't care. You know, like the way short guys feel insecure when they're surrounded by tall guys.

 

Umm, the anti-circ movement that he's talking about is happening in the United States, because that's where circumcision is most common. Just for the record, i'm totally against infant circumcision. Amputating a healthy, fully-functional component of the normal anatomy without one's consent is genital mutilation and serves utterly no purpose.

 

Getting circumcised as an adult is an entirely separate issue. I don't think it's "genital mutilation" when somebody undergoes the procedure voluntarily and is capable of making a rationally informed decision. In that case, it's just a cosmetic procedure like other surgeries such as liposuction, breast implants, rhinoplasty, etc.

 

To the OP, if you want to do it for yourself, then maybe you should look into it. I think you're supposed to roll the foreskin back before you put a condom on, but if it's still in the way, ask your doctor about the possibility of a circumcision. You'll get better information from a doctor than from a bunch of uncut guys on the internet saying "No, don't cut off part of your dick, you'll regret it!" That's an emotional reaction, and what you need is facts and information.

 

Thanks for the advice. I have tried rolling the skin back before I put it on, but it doesn't really help. Also, I don't think i'm going to get unbiased information from a doctor whose going to make money from doing it.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Asics

[Stung]

Haha that's really sad. And there's no way they have any memory of being circumcised as an infant. I'm guessing these men live in a country where circumcision is not common, so they feel embarrassed by it because they're different. If they lived in a place where it was common, they wouldn't care. You know, like the way short guys feel insecure when they're surrounded by tall guys.

 

 

As Asics already pointed out, the largest and strongest anti-circumcision movement that I'm aware of is in the United States, where it is still very common to circumcise infants and circumcised male adults are still the majority in most states. So, no.

 

Umm, the anti-circ movement that he's talking about is happening in the United States, because that's where circumcision is most common. Just for the record, i'm totally against infant circumcision. Amputating a healthy, fully-functional component of the normal anatomy without one's consent is genital mutilation and serves utterly no purpose.

 

Getting circumcised as an adult is an entirely separate issue. I don't think it's "genital mutilation" when somebody undergoes the procedure voluntarily and is capable of making a rationally informed decision. In that case, it's just a cosmetic procedure like other surgeries such as liposuction, breast implants, rhinoplasty, etc.

 

.

 

I agree with you that the age and consent level of the person getting the procedure provides crucial context and changes the issue completely.

 

BTW, I am a woman. FTR, my husband is cut, and I have a mild personal preference for circumcised men--but I have been with uncut men, and after the first initial surprise and "What do I do with this?" moment, it wasn't a big deal. My husband and I chose to leave our son intact after consulting with my OB and his pediatrician, and doing our own pretty thorough research during my pregnancy. Where we live, it is becoming less and less common to routinely circumcise at birth and most secular hospitals and doctors advise against it...and when it came down to it, I couldn't imagine letting someone take a scalpel to my newborn baby. It's a personal choice and I won't berate or look down on any mothers who chose circumcision, but I do think it's important to be fully informed, and not start from the misinformed position that NO circumcised men ever grow up regretting their circumcision, because that is factually untrue.

 

OP, I would still advise you to consult a medical professional. Since you have such a short, tight foreskin, it might be a slightly different procedure than any of us could be aware of. Anyway, people will have personal anecdotes but none of them will necessarily apply to YOU. Some men lose sensitivity when they are cut in adulthood, some purportedly do not. I remember reading somewhere--can't remember where, unfortunately--one man who was circumcised in adulthood saying his sexual responsiveness changed but that it was hard to describe, it was like he could still see clearly, but his color vision had gone. Other men have been quoted as saying it was no big deal. If your foreskin is short and rolled back most of the time anyway, my guess is you might have already experienced the desensitization of the glans, and the circumcision would have no lasting ill effects for you--but that is really just the guess of a stranger on the internet.

[Pierre]

As Asics already pointed out, the largest and strongest anti-circumcision movement that I'm aware of is in the United States, where it is still very common to circumcise infants and circumcised male adults are still the majority in most states. So, no.

 

 

 

I agree with you that the age and consent level of the person getting the procedure provides crucial context and changes the issue completely.

 

BTW, I am a woman. FTR, my husband is cut, and I have a mild personal preference for circumcised men--but I have been with uncut men, and after the first initial surprise and "What do I do with this?" moment, it wasn't a big deal. My husband and I chose to leave our son intact after consulting with my OB and his pediatrician, and doing our own pretty thorough research during my pregnancy. Where we live, it is becoming less and less common to routinely circumcise at birth and most secular hospitals and doctors advise against it...and when it came down to it, I couldn't imagine letting someone take a scalpel to my newborn baby. It's a personal choice and I won't berate or look down on any mothers who chose circumcision, but I do think it's important to be fully informed, and not start from the misinformed position that NO circumcised men ever grow up regretting their circumcision, because that is factually untrue.

 

OP, I would still advise you to consult a medical professional. Since you have such a short, tight foreskin, it might be a slightly different procedure than any of us could be aware of. Anyway, people will have personal anecdotes but none of them will necessarily apply to YOU. Some men lose sensitivity when they are cut in adulthood, some purportedly do not. I remember reading somewhere--can't remember where, unfortunately--one man who was circumcised in adulthood saying his sexual responsiveness changed but that it was hard to describe, it was like he could still see clearly, but his color vision had gone. Other men have been quoted as saying it was no big deal. If your foreskin is short and rolled back most of the time anyway, my guess is you might have already experienced the desensitization of the glans, and the circumcision would have no lasting ill effects for you--but that is really just the guess of a stranger on the internet.

 

I was cut at birth and I cannot imagine life being otherwise.

 

As a kid growing up the only penis I ever saw was my dad's penis which was also cut.

 

Then one day I had gyn class and saw uncut classmates. I was in shock, I thought these other kids were deformed and looked awful. From my perspective it did not look right.

 

However, I am not a woman and perhaps they don't really care.

[Stung]

I was cut at birth and I cannot imagine life being otherwise.

 

As a kid growing up the only penis I ever saw was my dad's penis which was also cut.

 

Then one day I had gyn class and saw uncut classmates. I was in shock, I thought these other kids were deformed and looked awful. From my perspective it did not look right.

 

However, I am not a woman and perhaps they don't really care.

 

Eh, a lot of women care and a lot of other women do not. As evidenced in this thread, some women prefer cut, some prefer uncut, and some are flexible.

 

My husband was also cut at birth and he is one of the many men, like you, who is not bothered at all by it and it feels natural and looks right to him--but that's because it's what he grew up with, not because it's the only thing that actually looks right. After all men and women who grow up seeing mostly uncut penises think that circumcised men look deformed, like you said it's all just perspective and perspective is flexible.

 

If anyone is worried about things looking weird, education seems to be the obvious fix. My son will grow up around boys who are both cut and uncut, and he will receive a thorough sex education at home in which he will see pictures of both cut and uncut penises, among other things.

 

Of course OP is an adult so this is moot in his case. He happens to be with a woman who strongly prefers cut, right now--but he says that he is considering the procedure more for his own personal reasons.

[OliveOyl]

Getting cut is like cutting off your earlobes because you don't want to have to clean behind your ears. And everyone is used to looking at people without earlobes. So people with earlobes look "weird" or "gross."

 

I will admit that most of the men I have seen (including current BF) have been cut, but I still think it's a barbaric practice.

[TBH]

well i've never seen a circumcised penis IRL. where i come from it is very unusual for a man to be circumcised - only jewish people have it here as far as i'm aware.

 

Not being an expert on this (clearly) but i heard that the head of the penis becomes less sensitive as it is uncovered permanently?

 

hygene is not an issue as long as the man washes regulary (obviously)

 

also the foreskin allows for masturbation with or without lube. Whenever I have wanked off my H when holding his foreskin back and using lube he does love it but becomes overly sensitive very quickly so its good to have the option i think

 

Please dont get circumcised just for one lady who has some ill founded judgements. Like any operation there is always potential for complications.

 

cut or uncut they are not exactly the prettiest things.... what makes a cock attractive to me is who it is attached to. its not like getting it cut turns it into a f-ing oil painting!

[TBH]

Thanks for the advice. I have tried rolling the skin back before I put it on, but it doesn't really help. Also, I don't think i'm going to get unbiased information from a doctor whose going to make money from doing it.

 

dont you put on the jonny when you're already hard? so foreskin wouldnt normally be an issue as it pulls back over the head when erect anyway.

[Nexus One]

For some reason a lot of women find genital mutilation ok when it's done to men. I don't understand how those women are ok with the fact that their boyfriend is going to partly lose sensation in the most sensitive part of his penis/body. Sex will be less enjoyable and the sensitive part of the penis will be exposed to rubbing of clothing. In my opinion such women do not really love their boyfriends.

 

I know of guys that pressure their girlfriends into getting a boob job or threaten to leave them if the women want to get rid of the silicon implants when they hurt. Those guys are heartless f*cking bastards in my opinion. I'm not sure if I should think any higher of the female equivalents of those guys. It's almost as if such people only love the material shell of their "SO", they don't seem to love them beyond that shell.

Edited August 16, 2011 by Nexus One

[Feelin Frisky]

My opinion is that she should have kept her trap shut and just shut down the relationship if she is not willing to hack it. Oops, did I say "hack it"? Sorry.

 

Anyway, I know a guy who did that for a woman. He was 25. It was very painful and took a long time to heal. I'm curious why you think that circumcision is so normal in Sierra Leone. I would think the opposite.

[zengirl]

For some reason a lot of women find genital mutilation ok when it's done to men. I don't understand how those women are ok with the fact that their boyfriend is going to partly lose sensation in the most sensitive part of his penis/body. Sex will be less enjoyable and the sensitive part of the penis will be exposed to rubbing of clothing. In my opinion such women do not really love their boyfriends.

 

I know of guys that pressure their girlfriends into getting a boob job or threaten to leave them if the women want to get rid of the silicon implants when they hurt. Those guys are heartless f*cking bastards in my opinion. I'm not sure if I should think any higher of the female equivalents of those guys. It's almost as if such people only love the material shell of their "SO", they don't seem to love them beyond that shell.

 

FTR, I would never expect a grown man to get it done for me, which is why I'd be crushed to hear a guy I liked/considered dating was uncircumcised.

 

But it's such a basic procedure as a baby. To me, it's similar to piercing a baby's ears (only with potential health benefits as well). I know a lot of people find that wrong, but my Mom had my ears pierced at 3, and I'm glad. I don't remember it, and it was less painful then.

 

I guess there's a movement of men who are anti- it, but I've never met one or heard one present his case to me. The loss of foreskin never struck me (and still didn't) as a burden when it was performed at birth. And I know many men who don't even think about it and/or are happy to have something that's more cosmetically pleasing/socially acceptable in their sexual culture. If it was a grown man being cut against his will, I'd feel very outraged by it, certainly.

Edited August 16, 2011 by zengirl

[rafallus]

FTR, I would never expect a grown man to get it done for me, which is why I'd be crushed to hear a guy I liked/considered dating was uncircumcised.

Though, realistically, how likely is that you'd known it beforehand?

 

I don't know about everyone else, but whether one is circumcised or not is certainly not the topic of most casual conversations I have had. In fact, I never felt the reason to tell anyone, nobody cared, and if somebody just asked me that out of the blue, I'd be taken aback.

 

And so I would run like hell, if I met woman like OP did.

[zengirl]

Though, realistically, how likely is that you'd known it beforehand?

 

I don't know about everyone else, but whether one is circumcised or not is certainly not the topic of most casual conversations I have had. In fact, I never felt the reason to tell anyone, nobody cared, and if somebody just asked me that out of the blue, I'd be taken aback.

 

And so I would run like hell, if I met woman like OP did.

 

I don't know. Since it's very much not the norm where I live/with my generation, I'd expect it be mentioned. Personally. But that's just me. I'd mention any physical aberration from the norm I had.

 

I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I could have sex with the guy. As I said, I'm aware it sounds shallow, but I don't see myself marrying a guy who isn't circumcised and I don't sleep with someone I KNOW I wouldn't marry at this point. In the hypothetical scenario in my mind, I'd have to just leave. And I'm sure that'd make me a bitch, but I kind of feel angry at hypothetical guy for not warning me.

 

But maybe if you're in love with someone, it's different than the hypothetical. I certainly hope I don't have to find out. It's just something I, personally, find very unattractive and repellent. Probably my socio-cultural conditioning, but it is what it is.

[TBH]

I don't know. Since it's very much not the norm where I live/with my generation, I'd expect it be mentioned. Personally. But that's just me. I'd mention any physical aberration from the norm I had.

 

I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I could have sex with the guy. As I said, I'm aware it sounds shallow, but I don't see myself marrying a guy who isn't circumcised and I don't sleep with someone I KNOW I wouldn't marry at this point. In the hypothetical scenario in my mind, I'd have to just leave. And I'm sure that'd make me a bitch, but I kind of feel angry at hypothetical guy for not warning me.

 

But maybe if you're in love with someone, it's different than the hypothetical. I certainly hope I don't have to find out. It's just something I, personally, find very unattractive and repellent. Probably my socio-cultural conditioning, but it is what it is.

 

lol. a guy should warn you his penis is as nature intended? please

[Nexus One]

FTR, I would never expect a grown man to get it done for me, which is why I'd be crushed to hear a guy I liked/considered dating was uncircumcised.

 

But it's such a basic procedure as a baby. To me, it's similar to piercing a baby's ears (only with potential health benefits as well). I know a lot of people find that wrong, but my Mom had my ears pierced at 3, and I'm glad. I don't remember it, and it was less painful then.

 

I guess there's a movement of men who are anti- it, but I've never met one or heard one present his case to me. The loss of foreskin never struck me (and still didn't) as a burden when it was performed at birth. And I know many men who don't even think about it and/or are happy to have something that's more cosmetically pleasing/socially acceptable in their sexual culture. If it was a grown man being cut against his will, I'd feel very outraged by it, certainly.

 

Except you don't penetrate a women with your earlobes as a guy, you do it with your penis and if you partly lose feeling there, then that's a big deal in my opinion. Those babies that get cut lose sensation just as well.

I'm against it either way, adult or baby. The only reason I find valid is when there are medical complications.

 

That being said, you can't compare it to getting earrings. Shooting a hole in an earlobe is different from cutting off the entire foreskin at the most sensitive part of a mans penis.

[rafallus]

And I'm sure that'd make me a bitch, but I kind of feel angry at hypothetical guy for not warning me.

Wait.

 

And how the guy you just intended to be seeing could know that it's so important to you? You'd have to breach the subject explicitly. Or, hope, that he's at least sort of insecure about the issue and will spill his guts on his own. But hope is certainly NOT something I want to get by on, when it comes to issues I think, that are important.

 

I'd guess that's another of those things (just like being with shorter guy) that is just left for life to verify. Results, as expected, can be pretty crazy - not like I wish you that, but "never say never".

Edited August 16, 2011 by rafallus

[MrNate]

I'm still waiting to hear if he slapped her with it yet.

 

The male species evolved with a foreskin for a purpose. If he comes back saying he cut off the top of his penis, I might be slapping both of them with my penis. If she doesn't approve of your God given body, then just get that toxic female out of your life.

 

 

I'll be checking back in a few days.

[zengirl]

Except you don't penetrate a women with your earlobes as a guy, you do it with your penis and if you partly lose feeling there, then that's a big deal in my opinion. Those babies that get cut lose sensation just as well.

I'm against it either way, adult or baby. The only reason I find valid is when there are medical complications.

 

That being said, you can't compare it to getting earrings. Shooting a hole in an earlobe is different from cutting off the entire foreskin at the most sensitive part of a mans penis.

 

Well, we see it differently obviously. If it made sex painful for a man or something, I'd agree with you (that's why most of the descriptions of cultural female genital mutilation bother me---they are intended to make sex painful for women in most cases and a cultural surgical procedure done to men that made sex painful would appall me just as much), but circumcised men are not having sexual complications from it that I've ever heard (when it was performed as a baby).

 

Wait.

 

And how the guy you just intended to be seeing could know that it's so important to you? You'd have to breach the subject explicitly. Or, hope, that he's at least sort of insecure about the issue and will spill his guts on his own. But hope is certainly NOT something I want to get by on, when it comes to issues I think, that are important.

 

I'd guess that's another of those things (just like being with shorter guy) that is just left for life to verify. Results, as expected, can be pretty crazy - not like I wish you that, but "never say never".

 

Apparently I'll have to find a way to bring it up from now on. Never experienced the issue before or thought anyone would think it was the norm.

[Nexus One]

I don't see myself marrying a guy who isn't circumcised and I don't sleep with someone I KNOW I wouldn't marry at this point. In the hypothetical scenario in my mind, I'd have to just leave. And I'm sure that'd make me a bitch, but I kind of feel angry at hypothetical guy for not warning me.

 

Did not expect that from you Zengirl. As a guy I'm probably the type that very much looks at the aesthetics of a woman's appearance. It's what initially draws me to a woman, but after falling in love with her, her personality, her everything, it's a done deal. There's a tipping point where you start to love a person beyond the mere material shell that they are, that is a major part of love in my opinion.

 

Like I said, the people who want to do that to their SO, don't really love their SO and you prove that point, because you'd leave the guy over it. If you really loved him, you wouldn't leave, you wouldn't care.

[TBH]

just to add...

 

I don't see myself marrying a guy who isn't circumcised

 

well i feel sorry for you. the ironic nature of life in general probably predicts that your soulmate has an uncut penis.

[Nexus One]

If it made sex painful for a man or something, I'd agree with you ..., but circumcised men are not having sexual complications from it that I've ever heard (when it was performed as a baby).

 

How about loss of sensation and having the most sensitive part of the body. I don't wish something like that on anyone. Sex is a big part of a relationship and life in general, you don't start cutting at the most sensitive part of it.

 

I've read an article a while ago about couples these days arguing about circumcision of their baby boys. Many women want it, but most father don't want to do it to their sons. I think that is because they undestand the involved pain and future implications. In my opinion those women are shallow and don't love their sons enough, they'd rather sacrifice a part of their son's sensation and have them go through intense pain, instead of accepting how they are born.

 

+1 for fathers on this point.

[zengirl]

Did not expect that from you Zengirl. As a guy I'm probably the type that very much looks at the aesthetics of a woman's appearance. It's what initially draws me to a woman, but after falling in love with her, her personality, her everything, it's a done deal. There's a tipping point where you start to love a person beyond the mere material shell that they are, that is a major part of love in my opinion.

 

Like I said, the people who want to do that to their SO, don't really love their SO and you prove that point, because you'd leave the guy over it. If you really loved him, you wouldn't leave, you wouldn't care.

 

Maybe, and I said maybe that's true if I was already in love. But I've never really been in love prior to having sex (nor do I think I COULD fall in love prior), so I have trouble imagining that.

 

And, as I said, it wouldn't be a nice thing to do. But neither would I relish having sex with a man I had no desire to be with. In most circumstances, I don't consider myself a shallow person, but in this, I admitted it sounds shallow but there it is. I'll never be dishonest about who I am, even if it makes me look bad.

 

I guess I don't see how the sensitivity thing is an issue because most men I know are circumcised and they still love sex. For my hypothetical son, I'd rather have him be loved and accepted. I'd hate to have a woman reject him for something I could've taken care of easily at birth. But that's just me.

[CatNtheHat]

I have started seeing an african woman (i'm a white guy). She has a huge problem with the fact that i'm not circumcised.

 

Although i'm NOT circumcised, it looks like I am because I have a very short foreskin. When it's flacid, the head is completely exposed...it doesn't have the "elephant trunk" look. The skin becomes stretched tightly when I have an erection so there is no loose skin on the shaft.

 

Anyway, I have known this woman for a few weeks. After the first time we had sex, we were lying on the bed naked, relaxing. She started playing with my cock and balls, and that's when she realised I actually had a foreskin. She slid her fingernail underneath the foreskin (she has those long acrylic nails), then grabbed it between her thumb and index finger and tugged it gently. She then asked me "aren't you circumcised?" I said no, and I could tell she was kind of disgusted, even though she tried to hide it.

 

The next time we had sex, she asked me to have a shower before we went to the bedroom. She came into the shower with me, rolled my foreskin out so the inside of it was showing and rubbed it to make sure it was clean.

 

Now she is asking me to get circumcised. She says it's because of hygiene issues and because bacteria can get trapped under there. She also says she prefers the look and feel of a circumcised one. We've had sex twice and she doesn't want to do it again until I get circumcised.

 

She's from sierra leone and she's only been in australia for about a month. So i'm probably the first uncircumcised dick she's ever seen or had.

 

What should I do? I would rather leave my dick the way it is, but I don't want to lose this woman. She is a very nice person and very attractive.

 

If you don't want to be circumcised you shouldn't do it for someone else. If she were to dump you for that reason, I think that makes her pretty shallow. My bf isn't circumcised and I could care less.