i'd like to get back with her.

[Dblock10]

i seem to be at a cross roads and catch 22 right now.

 

i want to get back with my recent ex, we broke up 7 days ago in person. and its because she wants to be free whilst travelling, and to have no relationship stresses and no commitments on her where abouts when she's back.

 

anyway, obviously right now i want her back, but even if i did, it wouldn't mean much, we cant see each other. she will be leaving in 4 weeks. and will be back in 6 months... she never told me she loves me, she never seemed to get emotionally attached as i did although there were moments when you just know someone really likes you.

 

so..

 

i just dont know now wether to go NC and move on, or to stay in contact with her and continue to do so through out her travels. The lack of contact from her to me now confuses me though. as I thought she didnt really want to break up but felt it was the only option given the conditions.

 

so its like actions are going against her words.. meaning she really didnt care!

 

so why am i being like this, why am i giving her so much thought, when she clearly isnt lol

[Kilty]

Sometimes you have to look at the facts then you wont be confused.

 

Think she has made her situation clear added to the lack of contact thereafter, not to mention her lack of emotion during the relationship- so give her what she wants.

 

If you go contacting her and trying to get her back you run the risk of making yourself look needy unfortunately.

 

Your last sentence sums it up perfectly im afraid - Your rationale knows what to do and what is best but your emotions are clouding that.

 

Wish her a good trip, tell her that you are sorry thats how she feels but thats life - and then leave it at that.

 

If she does care then she will make it known - If not then you have your answer

[Dblock10]

thats right my emotions are clouding rationale.

 

i just wont be able to deal with her seeing someone else. although if she does i'm very sure it would just be for a bit of fun. she seems unsure of what she wants to do in life. she doesn't want to get a real job and live in the real world she has told me.

 

thats right, it would look needy and obsessive.

 

i didn't say well i'm sorry thats how she feels. i did say, i guess ill have to accept what your saying then.

 

if i havent heard from her before she goes. shall i cut her off completely and remove her from my facebook?

 

it feels like i should contact her before she goes but doing so will look needy and weak. i want to say, is this really what you want? i thought you said you didnt want to "drift apart" which is basically what will happen now..

 

 

 

yeah. hard. specially living and attending the uni were we met

[Seraph1]

 

it feels like i should contact her before she goes but doing so will look needy and weak. i want to say, is this really what you want? i thought you said you didnt want to "drift apart" which is basically what will happen now..

 

 

 

If you contact her she will know that she can have you whenever she wants. She will know that you are still on her leash and it will give her a feeling of security that ONLY places you at a disadvantage.

 

Go strict NC and live your life. It's not what you want to hear (it certainly wasn't what I wanted to hear) but in the long run you will be happy that you did it. You have to realise that NC isn't the end...you can always choose to contact her further down the track when you are feeling more in control of yourself. If she rejects you then...well, at least you gave it a shot and don't have to suffer through the 'what ifs'.

 

Good luck.

[Dblock10]

yeah its not what i want to hear but i hear where you are coming from of course. iv'e done it before, but the first time i had no choice. this time i have a choice, she didn't leave me for someone else. i think she knows she can have me whenever she wants, although ive been doing NC for two weeks this sunday...

 

before i drove off from hers i told her i'd always be here for her. she was like ok (in the sort of, yeah uh huh don't believe you kinda way or not bothered kinda way - not sure)

 

before that i said i bet u wont want to see me when your back anyway, and she said no more like you wont want to see me. "well we shall see" she said.

 

i'm trying to live my life, but right now its hard feels impossible, nothing is really happening, and when i go out with friends and drink, i always go on a downer and think about her i am shy with girls and find it difficult to click with someone like we did. she is always on my mind.

 

feels like i can play it two ways but i dont know which.

 

1) stay in contact throughout even if its small talk, would this achieve that she wont forget about me.., and thus feel guilty if she got with someone whilst still in contact with me?

 

or

 

2) stay NC and hope she doesnt totally move on and forget me... whilst i'm going to be constantly thinking about her anyway... nc will just benefit her i feel...

 

ultimately she is coming back to the country, ultimately i dont know what she will get up to whilst away, ultimately i dont know if i stick to NC then 3-4-5-6- months later get back in touch with her, would she even respond by then.... it may seem to her like, oh hey again, ive not spoke to you in 6 months, so much has happened, would you like to meet up... crash. plus she may leave again and do something like a ski season..

 

 

 

see the thing is i don't want to try and get her back now as i know its not what she wants, i need to respect that she wants freedom at the moment and thats fine, thats her choice i wont be able to change that.

I just don't want her to move on and forget about me completely. i know that could sound quite selfish but it doesn't feel fair or right that i get left here like this and told "sorry" but i did tell u i was always going..

 

 

edit- i do want to break NC. but.. i don't want to sound needy or weak. what can i do. maybe i need to express my thoughts or what ever. you only get one chance to. or the chance may never come back again if she totally moves on. :S

i just dont know where to begin, what id say, how would i feel. etc etc. all i know is im not moving on and i still think about her a lot. its so frustrating, specially as she doesnt seem bothered judging by the fact i've not heard from her.

 

what does that even mean. it must mean she doesnt care, or wants to fully move on now and forget about me. either way it sucks

Edited August 19, 2011 by Dblock10

[Dblock10]

my nan passed away last night. the urge to txt her the news and say, thanks for asking how she was btw when i went to go say goodbye.

[Nsweet]

This is really a crappy situation.

 

The easiest thing you can do if you want her back is to agree. Agree that she is right and you have held her back, she should go have fun and be free, then say goodbye and mean it. She go out there and have a blast on her own while you two are on a healthy brake. I guarantee though that if you keep in touch you will start to get needy and jealous. Soon she would slow down her texts and calls to once every few days and the conversation would trickle to "yeah,no,idk,idc,hey,haha....". You really don't want to be put in the friend zone do you? Even if she say "we can still be friends", agree but don't call her or talk to her. The more invisible houbara the more she will wonder what you're up to, the longer your relationship enough comfort the better NC works.

 

So start NC immediately and go date atleast one girl a week! I guarantee she will want to contact you and see that you're still available even though she outlined those rules for herself. When you're finally ready to contact her you should be pretty desireless and not really care to win her back. You can care about her but not to the point that you're her lap dog or girlfriend.

 

If you think this won't work I will tell you about a gf I dated for three weeks mostly just talking I've the phone with nothing more than one kiss and a b-day card with $50 for her b-day. After she cheated i had to let her go but I was glad to see her go actually. She called,texted, and sent sexy pics completely unsolicited for more than a year even when she knew I was happily married and told her to stop. Goes to show you people will do almost anything to have that which they can't have and that which gives them value.

[Dblock10]

ive not held her back though..

 

i mean that if we stayed together whilst she travels she will feel that somewhere inside her, like shes not "truely" free whilst exploring this world.

 

no i dont want to be her friend. we were lovers.

 

i have gone NC since going to visit her in person. and accepting that she doesn't want to be in a relationship due to the circumstances.

 

today is the 2 week mark. and my nan passed away. makes me want to txt her.

 

i don't know why i've not heard from her. i miss her so its making me want to contact her.

 

she mentioned a break but really a break when we spoke on the phone, but a break is a break up just worded lightly as to not upset someone.. she knows this.

 

taking a break is the worst thing, it means one person always gets hurt. so a clean break up was agreed to be best as it leaves the door open for the future.

 

i just dont know wether to contact her now or not. Do i contact her a week before she goes. or what?

 

i know that once shes on the plane, she wont give a flying f*** about me. however it already seems like she doesnt.

 

 

 

 

so what do i do, contact her before she departs or not............. !

she will probably be thinking i dont care for her either since i havent spoke to her either...

Edited August 21, 2011 by Dblock10

[Seraph1]

ive not held her back though..

 

 

she mentioned a break but really a break when we spoke on the phone, but a break is a break up just worded lightly as to not upset someone.. she knows this.

 

taking a break is the worst thing, it means one person always gets hurt. so a clean break up was agreed to be best as it leaves the door open for the future.

 

i just dont know wether to contact her now or not. Do i contact her a week before she goes. or what?

 

i know that once shes on the plane, she wont give a flying f*** about me. however it already seems like she doesnt.

 

 

 

Ok... calm yourself and focus on what IS important. Family. You just lost your nan and that has got to have hit you around the heart and head more than you realise. As much as a break-up hurts...you should focus on the people who love you and wished to remain a part of your life. Your nan loved you and she left because she didn't have a choice. I'm sorry for you loss.

 

Please realise that you need to look after yourself. It's not selfish to take care of yourself and seek the things that make you happy and help you get better...so don't feel bad about NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX.

 

Honestly, she didn't feel bad when she broke up with you and hasn't made the effort to get in touch with you. If she did feel bad about she would be letting you know!

 

Now...you worry that she will feel that you don't care about her anymore.. that's the best thing possible if you want her to reassess her feelings and possibly come back. Honestly, it's not that hard when you think about it and the only thing difficult about it is breaking yourself out of the pattern of desperation you are in. Now... how do you give yourself the best chance for an ex to come back? You REJECT them.

 

Right now you are feeling the panic and desperation that accompanies rejection. People always want what they can't have... what they feel they have lost. So...transfer these feelings of panic and desperation onto her. Believe it or not... she still thinks of you as hers and she wont be in any hurry to analyse her feelings or come back to you if she feels she can have you whenever she wants. That is called being her 'rainy day option' that SHE HAS COMPLETE POWER OVER. So take her power away.

 

If you must contact her or you will DIE.. send her a very short and emotionless text telling her to enjoy her trip and thanking her for breaking up with you because you really feel it was the best thing for you. That is like a kick to the nads for her. It will offend her pride, it will make her upset....it will piss her off because she WANTS you to be upset and try to fight for her. Once you draw a line in the sand telling her that you aren't going to do that... she has her safety net taken away from her. That's scary. We like to keep doors open and have options.

 

And then what do you do... if you really are brave and committed to getting your life back and having a happy future: You tell her that you would really appreciate it if she not contact you because you'll be in touch when you are ready.

 

What did you do there? You told her NOT to do something. We don't like that either. In fact...she's going to wonder what the hell is going on and why you suddenly don't want to hear from her. Then you drop off the face of the planet and live your life. I can assure you that her mind will be making up all types of stories about how great your life must now be without her in it. If she really loved you and cared about you...when you do eventually get in touch with her she will be very curious about what you have been up to even though she may not want to let you see it.

 

But the best advice I can give you is to move on with your life and treat it like it is over... because it is. Once you accept that you will have the best chance at a happy future.

[Dblock10]

Thanks for the reply,

 

I have been staying with a friend for a few nights. Whilst i had a good time, let me tell you, i feel so down, lonely, tiered, upset... my nan, my ex. sigh.

 

I've needed to ask for advice here so much today, i'm on the edge and feel weak please help.

 

 

Dreams of her don't help really. thoughts i cant stop during every hour of everyday take there toll when you don't hear from them no longer, and how i want her back... knowing I cant and that she WILL be leaving soon and that its over..

 

I dont feel bad at all for NOT contacting her, just sad. I doubt she is missing me :S due to lack of anything from her end?

 

I don't know how she feels about me now with this whole thing and 3 weeks of not talking, so what holds me back is just that.... not knowing wether she will care that i've txt'd her or what the response would be like, she has obviously moved on, happy to forget me now then.

 

 

Not being childish but I also feel like it shouldn't be me who has to contact her first.. and as much as i would hope she may have changed her thoughts about me in the sense that she feels we could stay together or wants to be with me, i just know that isn't the case or i would have heard from her by now given that i've not heard any form of contact for 3 weeks...

 

exactly, you say she didn't feel bad, well its because during the early stages of our long distance relationship (when she moved back home as did i) I wasnt getting the vibes that she wanted to make it work, this is because she didn't make an effort for my bday and made no clear plans to actually see me again before leaving "as she was working all hours" and couldn't book any time off at all for me.. and i was just hanging on everyday to hear if she has a spare day off work...

 

yet later i found out this obviously wasn't true as she booked time off for he best guy mate.

 

so i basically told her "we both know it isn't going to work etc" and she didn't agree or disagree she never had her own opinion or told me that she wanted it to work.

 

She then must have given thought about the whole situation properly and weighed it up that it wasn't "practical" or worth staying together given the circumstances. and i feel like **** for saying those things. but its because i felt like i was waiting to be dumped ( i told her id meet her on her travels, she wasn't fussed, i told her i had fallen for her, she told me she really likes me).. so thought " i know, ill put the cards down be the man and say it and hope she fights for us or lets her feelings for me to be known "...

 

when really i didn't want to make that decision at all I just knew she is very indecisive and wouldn't have come to a clear decision right up till she leaves... it felt like it was probably going to boil down to that from her anyway, and it was eating me up everyday not knowing what she was going to say or come up with... so i rushed to get an answer from me/her because of my feelings for her and how much i already missed her i just NEEDED to know ,

 

in a way she put me in that position and i had to say something, she didn't want the guilt basically for being responsible for the break up, everytime i asked her what was going to happen between us she "hadnt given it thought" even though to me it was on my mind 24/7 (so again felt like she didnt really care to much about it all).

 

 

 

and when i went to visit her in person it was clear that she was set on being free and living her life with no one to answer to and that she didnt want the relationship to work as she knew it wouldn't anyway (arguments would break out because she is a rubbish communicator). she wants the freedom to do what she wants, to come home after and shoot off to what ever it is she wants to do without feeling "obliged" to do something near me etc.

 

 

Now...you worry that she will feel that you don't care about her anymore.. that's the best thing possible if you want her to reassess her feelings and possibly come back. Honestly, it's not that hard when you think about it and the only thing difficult about it is breaking yourself out of the pattern of desperation you are in. Now... how do you give yourself the best chance for an ex to come back? You REJECT them.

 

 

i dont know how she feels i think the whole thing is sad. its sad that i care so much and its sad how it seems she really doesn't.. you know?

it makes me want to ask her if she still thinks about me, and tell her how i think its sad that this has happened etc tell her about my nan. i dunno just talk and see whats what.

 

the transferring the feelings onto her wont work now i doubt? because she has already excepted i "will move on" she told me to move on and enjoy university and that "if" were/i'm single when she's back then it would be nice to meet as friends or whatever see what happens, but she wont rule out that i may have a gf by then...

 

 

3 weeks of not talking to her, i think would or should have sent a message to her that i'm moving on (or at least that time is rapidly separating us further apart if that makes sense, and that the break up isn't getting to me...)

... and i don't need her.. so again she clearly doesn't mind this.. or she would have sent a txt even if it was just a hook to ask how i'm doing.

 

id love to be able to send something like you mention, but i no its not sincere, she might think it isn't sincere, she might not even care and reply with something similar like yeah me to, it is for the best.. that would then make it even worse than it is for me. its to late to play games i think.

 

 

 

really, i cant do anything can i the only choice i have is to bring it all up and try and talk to her about it, which would look weak or desperate and give away that i'm not ok. she must not feel the need to talk to me now and is forgetting me hence the silence.

 

all i can do is remain silent and let time do its thing.. and try and move on.

 

i wouldnt want to contact her and regret doing so :S

 

argh so pissed off

Edited August 27, 2011 by Dblock10

[Sunny-side-up]

Let her go and do her thing... Send her a mail about a month after shes started travelling to see how her travels are going.. or, keep in contact via FB. If she replies then you can send her another mail another month later..... keep in contact, stay friends, just let her have her space and do her thing. Don't contact her too often or you'll look needy..... when she returns, if you're still in contact with each other you can meet and catch up and go from there.

Don't hold your life in the meantime.... you'll need to have lots to talk about when you do mail/meet her or you'll look dull by comparison to her new found wordly experience.

 

If its meant to be... it will be

[Dblock10]

thanks sunny side up

 

yeah seems like sensible advice. in my head i think that would be the best thing. although i cant work out why i've not heard from her for 3 weeks. she obviously wants to forget me.. which would mean contacting her now asking how i can stay in touch whilst she goes would look needy and as if i cant let go and clinging on to something that isnt there :s

 

she never seems to go on face book now let alone when she's off travelling. I don't know what item of communication i'll be able to get hold of her on once she goes.. she never told me. she just said, we should keep each other updated with our lives..

 

looks like breaking NC is inevitable really.. yeah i wouldn't contact her often, would run out of things to say of course. but what about becoming a friend, everyone knows that wont work!..

 

but how do i play it now then? as it stands, no contact has been for 3 weeks today.. i obviously need to see where shes at, i would no for sure she wants nothing to do with me if i txt'd her and got no reply i suppose. which would then make moving on a lot easier.

 

i wouldnt put my life on hold at all. i dont plan to.

Edited August 28, 2011 by Dblock10

[LelouchIsZero]

There isn't a way to 'play it'.

 

Tell her to enjoy her trip, agree that the break is for the best & then NC from then on. If shes still interested/cares about you, she'll get in contact with you, if not then oh well. Besides, by the time she gets back you should have been working hard to improve your own life, meaning you'd be in a good position anyway.

Edited August 28, 2011 by LelouchIsZero

[Sunny-side-up]

Dblock, is she travelling now? Do you have an e-mail address you can keep in contact with?

Don't contact her until shes leaving (if she hasnt already).... then, simply wish her well on her travells. Or, you could meet with her before she leaves to say goodbye (AND DONT MENTION THE RELATIONSHIP) Then, don't contact her for a month or so after shes gone.

 

It all depends on the kind of relationship you have with each other, whether you meet or text before she goes and how long you were seeing each other/known each other for.

[Dblock10]

zero:

i saw her in person 3 weeks ago to "break up" although i told her i didnt want to etc i respect her decision and hopefully because we end on good terms we can talk in the future, or her words "keep each other updated with our lives" what ever that means.

 

since then ive not heard from her.

 

sunny:

not now, end of sept onwards for 6 months. No email address, just face book PM. and no doubt her phone

 

i met her 3 weeks ago to see her and talk through everything that had been said via a phone calls previously. before i left i wished her well on the travels and told her to enjoy it. i told her if she would like to meet before she goes then she knows where i am.

she said "yeh it depends of time and money though doesn't it" (referring to her job of which she works a stupid amount of hours) although if she really wanted to see me again before leaving she would or could book time off..

 

saw each other for 7 months. it was serious. both committed.

 

 

so yeah as it stands you would have thought i did everything i could have done. but i feel i don't deserve this silent treatment from her at all.

 

she obviously wants to move on now and have as much fun travelling as she can.

 

if i contact her, i dont know when or how or what i'd even say. i dont want to regret it.

 

if she cared about me, surely i'd hear from her again before she leaves. or would have heard from her by now? it almost feels as if i've done something wrong, when i know i haven't...

 

it annoys me that she got time off for her best guy mate. she is really close with him. kinda makes me question wether something is going on there. although from the start i asked her and she said he was like a brother to her.. but you never know do you. now that they have both left uni...

Edited August 28, 2011 by Dblock10

[Nsweet]

I've had the same thing happen. Right after the breakup she feels liberated and free from all the heartache. She wants to "be free" but at the same time can't quite sever the ties with you in one way or another, even if it a check-up a few weeks later. Right now she holds all the power and decides when she can see you, call you, contact you. You know what you have to do.

 

You have to go LC and not make any attempts for a few weeks, maybe even ghost out of facebook for a few weeks. She may give you a call soon after she notices you're missing but may also not, depending on her personality. If you decide to call make it once every week or week and a half, but just one call and no call backs or messages. Don't worry you will call more later on. If she says she will call back take it as a lie a keep busy your own life. This was hard for me but after the healing NC I can move on with my buisness fairly quickly.

 

When you decide to talk remember to be friendly and warm without investing too much in her too much. You can ask how she is but she goes off on a tangent about her fantastic trip and everything, act like it's no big deal. You are after all moving on and this is what she acted like to you. If you start acting the exact way she is I guarantee she will get offended she can't control you anymore.

 

Little tip: Dont worry about her guy friend. Odds are if she has told you about her "brother" several times using those disqualifing words he is nothin more than a platonic friend. I used to be worried about my wife's friends until I found out from them what little mama's boys they were who loved to talk about relationship troubles with her. The heartache your experiencing is most likely from rejection because she doesn't want to invite into her world to meet her circle of friends. All that will change once she starts chasing you and asking about your friends, if you're lucky.

[Dblock10]

yeah she probably felt good but i dont know how she feels now.. 3 weeks have passed that i have done no contact on her. but she hasnt checked up on me. she is still a friend on face book. if she went on to my page. she would have seen my status talking about my nan. if thats the case, i havent heard anything from her...

 

but we have broken up so why would she contact me? isnt it how it works when two people break up? or is every case different

 

yeah have gone NC for 3 weeks, ghosted out of face book. not that she was ever on fb much. i haven't txt'd or called since i went to see her.

 

so if i contact her (txt or call), don't mention the break up or anything like that or the 3 weeks of silence. yeah so she has to know she cant control me anymore. maybe talking to her in a friendly way will enforce that to her. but then also wouldnt 3 weeks of not talking to her convey that i dont care anyway :S ive not once txt;d her or called or drunk txtd or anything!

 

yeah i wont worry about that, just annoys me how she booked time for him not me.

Edited August 28, 2011 by Dblock10

[blakjak]

First off, 'bitches be trippin' yo'. Secondly, yes. Carry on with not chatting with her for the time being mate. Unfortunately, in the game of love women tend have most of the power most of the time. You must use restraint and patience in order to level the playing field. I am sure she will come around.

[Dblock10]

How long do i give it then? Its 3 weeks today... she leaves in less than 30 days time. Not sure there is any time for her to "come round" tbh

 

yeah i don't know if she will come round tbh. she probably hasnt really given it thought other than, "well i'm travelling anyway soon, we broke up, there is nothing i can really do. I don't have anything to say to him, i dont owe him anything, roll on next month!, new york here i come!"

[Art_Critic]

Why would you want someone back that won't be there ?

 

She sees that the relationship is going nowhere as she is traveling and moving on, she also was kind enough to you to let you down easy and not drag it out to hurt you.

 

The best thing for you do do is forget about her.. sometimes things just don't work out.. for whatever reason..

That is what dating is.. finding out what you want and what you don't want out of a partner.

 

There will be other GF's.. just let this one go

[blakjak]

lulz, distance does indeed complicate things. However, i'm still playing the game of romance with my former lover... the breakup being initiated by me going to england... with her in arizona... I am back in a year lol. I have not given up, neither should you. Just date around, shag around, get new clothes, clean your room, get new friends, write poetry etc. DO whatever it takes to get her off your mind. I have not had a clear breakthrough yet, but she has deffo been dropping mixed messages (some would say hints) that she is deffo still interested in me. In the scale of things a year/6 months is not a terribly long time. Just work on yourself mate. IGNORE HER the best you can. Truth be told, in all probability she might sleep with other people in newyork. She might fancy a few even. Don't worry about it. Just carry on. Remember the bright side of things. Your free to do what you want with who you want. You don't have to report to anyone. Just go with it mate. That's what I am doing, I am perpetually positive. I feel that at present I am a better person for me, not for her. I am having a fabulous time. I still think about her, and dream about her. On occassion when I am alone I still cry over her. But I have let go, and it does not hurt as much as it once did. Every day it will hurt less. Odds are, by the time it stops hurting altogether she probz will be acting the way i wanted her to all along.

 

Dunno when she will contact ya again tho mate. Just dig a trench and settle in for the long haul. If you want her back.... And she's leaving soon....This ain't gonna happen over night lol. Be strong.

[Dblock10]

Thanks for the replies again guys. hope you dont mind reading through my response.

 

@art- good question

 

I guess its not so much "wanting" her back "right now" as i know i cant. i know it isn't what she wants.

its just i want to know that she wont move on and forget about me i'd like to think that there would be a fair old chance of us getting back together or for us to have a future at some point. even though realistically this looks slim.

 

i don't know the probability of anything materialising in my favour, she told me at the time, that when she is back she doesn't want to settle into full time job. she would like to go off to a ski resort for a further 5 months to do a season. She cant make promises of her where about's once back just to keep me happy, or doesnt want to feel obliged to doing something near me once back (i'll be in the area where she was whilst at uni for another 2 years whilst i study). so it isn't practical to stay together (her words).

 

she told me she doesn't see the point in being in a relationship when you can't even see that person for that long... i guess she let me down easy, but over those 4-5 weeks of waiting to see her from the time of us both going home (3 hours apart), not being able to see her, not knowing what was really going on between us, what would happen with us... that was tough esp as i missed her add to the fact she works so much i couldn't see her. she never booked time off for me.

 

Its harder than i thought to just forget about her... i feel like i wont and i don't want to?...

 

There may be other girl-friends and flings sure, but i am very fussy and i fell for this one like no other of my previous relationships (apart from first love)

 

Also, how on earth would i get that chance with her again if we both don't talk to each other from now?... its like, i'm not hearing from her now, so fat chance i'd hear from her once she's actually travelling....

 

 

@blak

 

yeah so you left someone behind to. you say not to give up, but not talking to her is just that isn't it? what do i need to do? i didnt beg or cry when we broke up. i respected her decision, wished her well and said good bye, see you in 6 months! since then, no communication between us..

 

I do plan to do everything I can to forget her. i will be working at uni, just got a new job in a cocktail bar, ill join the american football team, sleep around, go to partys, write poetry etc. I plan to fully try and move on or do everything i can to keep moving.

 

what hints is she dropping? again this is not looking promising to me at all, given that my ex at one point told me to move on, have fun, enjoy uni, and when she is back, if i am still single then yeah maybe we can meet and see whats what. she also said we should keep each other updated with our lives.

she mentioned a "break" etc but i think it was her trying to word it lightly.

 

when i went to see her i asked her, so you want to break-up then? as i know you mentioned a break but everyone knows thats basically a break up and people get hurt when on breaks anyway (from my experience) she said "well no, just seems like we have no choice or options given the circumstances.

 

yeah 6 months isn't that long in the grand scale of things for sure! I haven't cried over her for a while now. but know i feel down a lot more than usual and cant feel happy or positive about the future, and just thinking about her is in my head 24/7 lol.

 

yeah it wont happen over night for sure. i just.... wish I would hear from her. i dont understand why i haven't if she meant what she said to me at the official break up...

 

 

what risk do i run if i contact her now, (but dont mention the break up and play it cool..)

 

surely keeping the door open would be that you have to stay in contact with that person? this is so hard, as she hasnt shown any care towards me or my family about my nan's death. really hard.

Edited August 28, 2011 by Dblock10