daisy27 Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Ok, let me start by saying I am 36 and have been in a relationship with this man for 11 years. We are buying a house and have a 2 year old child. When we were first together, I cheated on him. He knew about this. I have heard stories over the years. Such as how him and his friends girlfriend once set up a meeting, but never followed through. And someone seeing him actually come out of someones bedroom. But I always believed nothing ever happened. Well, the other night for some reason, I looked at his phone and found messages from the girl he was supposed to meet with years ago that he said he never did. And these messages were graphic. Such as how he remembered how she tasted and whatnot. So I questioned him about it. He said she was just talking BS. So, I told him I was going to act like him and question her. She then verified that they had. This happened before I had cheated. I told her that it was me and that he was with me when it happened. I kinda let it fly by cause it was 11 years ago. Well, today. I was messing with our upstairs computer and I found a file that I was like what is this. I clicked on it and it was a bunch of pictures. I found over 50 pictures, about 40 was of this one girl that he used to work with . And they could have been images out of a porno. Her with a dildo, her out of the shower, her crotch close up and all. So when I confronted him about these he said I was a dumb ass and she had sent them to him. Well, when I checked the file info, they were sent as text messages. He said he never did anything with her. He said I am stupid for assuming that he did. I told him, anyone else would think the same thing with all that proof!! He is still adamantly swearing he never did anything though. I sent the girl a message telling her I found them. He said I was acting like a child. FYI all these pics were from the time I was pregnant. I asked him if I needed to get myself and my child checked. He acted offended. I told him that he owes me answers and he then informed me that he doesn't owe me anything. Am I wrong to think he could be acting this way cause he is pissed that he got caught? Should I believe him since he is adamantly denying that he has done anything. I have said to him, if he didn't do anything then why did she send these pictures..... Any feedback would be appreciated... I am so upset. This is my life and has been for over ten years..... Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Ok, let me start by saying I am 36 and have been in a relationship with this man for 11 years. We are buying a house and have a 2 year old child. When we were first together, I cheated on him. He knew about this. I have heard stories over the years. Such as how him and his friends girlfriend once set up a meeting, but never followed through. And someone seeing him actually come out of someones bedroom. But I always believed nothing ever happened. Well, the other night for some reason, I looked at his phone and found messages from the girl he was supposed to meet with years ago that he said he never did. And these messages were graphic. Such as how he remembered how she tasted and whatnot. So I questioned him about it. He said she was just talking BS. So, I told him I was going to act like him and question her. She then verified that they had. This happened before I had cheated. I told her that it was me and that he was with me when it happened. I kinda let it fly by cause it was 11 years ago. Well, today. I was messing with our upstairs computer and I found a file that I was like what is this. I clicked on it and it was a bunch of pictures. I found over 50 pictures, about 40 was of this one girl that he used to work with . And they could have been images out of a porno. Her with a dildo, her out of the shower, her crotch close up and all. So when I confronted him about these he said I was a dumb ass and she had sent them to him. Well, when I checked the file info, they were sent as text messages. He said he never did anything with her. He said I am stupid for assuming that he did. I told him, anyone else would think the same thing with all that proof!! He is still adamantly swearing he never did anything though. I sent the girl a message telling her I found them. He said I was acting like a child. FYI all these pics were from the time I was pregnant. I asked him if I needed to get myself and my child checked. He acted offended. I told him that he owes me answers and he then informed me that he doesn't owe me anything. Am I wrong to think he could be acting this way cause he is pissed that he got caught? Should I believe him since he is adamantly denying that he has done anything. I have said to him, if he didn't do anything then why did she send these pictures..... Any feedback would be appreciated... I am so upset. This is my life and has been for over ten years..... Sounds like now you know how he felt after you cheated on him...yep that cheating has a way to come back and bite you in the arse when you least expect it... Link to post Share on other sites
Kelemort Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 To be fair, he cheated before she both did (not to say they both aren't responsible for cheating, but). The difference is she came clean and changed. Her partner hasn't. More than that, he's willing to put her down to maintain his secrecy. I think it's time for OP to move out, get herself checked out and start rebuilding her own life away from this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Yes he is totally blame-shifting. You are not an idiot. Often when these idiots get cornered they come out fighting and blaming you. Link to post Share on other sites
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