Evelyn1979 Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 ~Well to start out..If there is anyone reading this who is married or has been..I want to apologize ahead of time If i offend anyone but this is a serious issue to me and I wanted to get advice or thoughts on how anyone who's been in this situation may feel..and understand where im coming from.. Well with that being said..I'm very attracted to this married guy that i know..he is a friend of the family he and his wife..He is very flirtatious with me always staring..Hugging me..He has even told me that he would pursue me if he wasnt married..Now The thing is.. I HATE that this **** even started because im REALLY starting to develop feelings for him...Eventhough we've never gone farther than the flirting..But when i look in his eyes i feel butterflies and i get chills... I want him Extremlely bad!! Just the fact of knowing that he is married and has a family.. Eats me up inside..Not only because of the fact that he is taken..But also the fact that I wish it was me...And i must admit I am envious of his wife..Very much so..She has on occasion given me dirty looks she's never said anything to me though... Never have i been the other woman physically..But it's like i almost feel an emotional attachment to him...Is that even possible?? But anyway this whole ordeal is like a emotional rollercoaster ride..I dont know what to do..I just wish the attraction wasn't there so i wouldn't have to worry about it but it sucks knowing that at the end of the day he's with his wife..and not me..Whats a girl to do. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 You DO know he's messing with you? And NONE of this is based on love or falling in love with you. You sound young and he is zoning in on your inexperience. Sorry if I'm wrong on this but from what you've said, this guy is purposely flirting and seeing your reaction, getting off on it. You are falling for him? Based on what? Sexual lust and flirting? Fact is, the guy is a FAMILY FRIEND, someone I take it you've known all your life. Imagine how your parents will feel, his wife, their kids. It's wrong of him to do this and you know it's wrong for you to say "yes" if an advance is made at some point. This will rip apart the friendship that your family has with them and nothing will be the same afterwards..Plus, as envious as you are about his wife, what is there to envy? A flirty fart who is lusting after a family friends daughter! A guy who is willing to put himself first, be selfish ON the expense of his innocent wife and kids. what is it that you "like" about him? Other than wanting to have sex with him? You have a choice and whatever path you choose is yours. IF you go down the wrong path, OWN IT. Be aware of what you're getting yourself into and why. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evelyn1979 Posted August 14, 2011 Author Share Posted August 14, 2011 Thank you .whichwayisup you opened my eyes ALOT...especially the part where you said he's playing with me..And I havent known him that long just a few years..thats all. I guess everyone deals with feelings differnt..I guess i'll just avoid him all together. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Thank you .whichwayisup you opened my eyes ALOT...especially the part where you said he's playing with me..And I havent known him that long just a few years..thats all. I guess everyone deals with feelings differnt..I guess i'll just avoid him all together. WWIU said it all. You are lusting after a family friend. I know you like to think the wife is giving you dirty looks, but she might just be trying to press a giggle from watching you blatantly flirt with her husband. Heck, it might even be a game they are playing with you. Stop looking at him like this great guy. You know relatively little about him and only see him "on" around other people. Look for someone your age and someone who isn't married. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) ~Well to start out..If there is anyone reading this who is married or has been..I want to apologize ahead of time If i offend anyone but this is a serious issue to me and I wanted to get advice or thoughts on how anyone who's been in this situation may feel..and understand where im coming from.. Well with that being said..I'm very attracted to this married guy that i know..he is a friend of the family he and his wife..He is very flirtatious with me always staring..Hugging me..He has even told me that he would pursue me if he wasnt married..Now The thing is.. I HATE that this **** even started because im REALLY starting to develop feelings for him...Eventhough we've never gone farther than the flirting..But when i look in his eyes i feel butterflies and i get chills... I want him Extremlely bad!! Just the fact of knowing that he is married and has a family.. Eats me up inside..Not only because of the fact that he is taken..But also the fact that I wish it was me...And i must admit I am envious of his wife..Very much so..She has on occasion given me dirty looks she's never said anything to me though... Never have i been the other woman physically..But it's like i almost feel an emotional attachment to him...Is that even possible?? But anyway this whole ordeal is like a emotional rollercoaster ride..I dont know what to do..I just wish the attraction wasn't there so i wouldn't have to worry about it but it sucks knowing that at the end of the day he's with his wife..and not me..Whats a girl to do. I think it is odd that you feel an "emotional attachment" to a man, who from what you said, is a family friend who you see sometimes, he hugs you,stares at you and flirts with you but there is not much else in terms of interaction. I am not sure how an emotional attachment can form from that.... I agree that an attraction is there, but to be honest, people who easily develop what they think is an emotional attachment, to someone they barely know, are prone to "obsessive love". Reality is: you're not currently involved with him, you are envious of his wife, you're only really imagining what could be (which may be far from what would actually happen), you already feel bad about the married thing and this man is a bit of a sleaze to be a family friend and telling you he would pursue you if he wasn't married, not cute. I think these feelings for him will blow over and you shouldn't worry about it. I have had crushes on married men, taken men, professors, celebrities etc lol but I realize I really do not know these people that well, a lot of it is fantasy, and if I got to the point of feeling attached to the idea of them, that it became an "emotional rollercoaster"....I'd feel very afraid for myself. Find someone else to crush on, go out on dates, something, but don't get caught up in fantasies of a married family friend. The fantasy most likely will not pan out or it won't pan out as you'd like, and you will probably end up very disappointed, hurt, ashamed etc if you somehow got involved with him, then your family found out, his wife etc or you get even more attached and he never leaves, he's not serious about you but likes the ego stroke and then you feel in love and used. If you think it's an emotional rollercoaster now, when in essence, NOTHING substantial is happening.....it will be worst later. It's all in your head right now, some things are best left there hon Edited August 15, 2011 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
Gentlegirl Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Why on earth would you be envious of his wife. Would you really want a husband that chats up young women. Would you really want this creep for your very own? Just feel sorry for her and ignore the *******. Good Luck, Genltgirl Link to post Share on other sites
YellowShark Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 He is very flirtatious with me always staring..Hugging me..He has even told me that he would pursue me if he wasnt married.....But when i look in his eyes i feel butterflies and i get chills... I want him Extremlely bad!! Try looking at him through different glasses Evelyn1979. Pretend you're his current wife. How would you feel if you knew your husband was hitting on, and laying the groundwork to bang other women? And if you do end up in bed with him, it'll be like dropping a hand grenade into your life. Tons of drama, because he's connected to A) another family, and B) your family. Just a heads up. Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 WWIU is spot on. This guy is only playing with you and worse yet, he is setting you up to have an affair with him. He is taking advantage of your inexperience. I used to think I was incapable of being duped and bam, I found myself involved in an affair. I never realized how vulnerable I was and had no clue that MM's operate this way. RUN for hills and avoid this guy AT ALL COST. He is working on pulling you into his web of deceit and before you know what hit you, you will be immersed in a fog so thick you won't know which way is up. That's his plan. Once he has you wrapped in his thread, it will take you years to untangle yourself. It will be incredibly painful too! If he approaches you at a family gathering, tell him you have too much self respect to fall for a deceitful b****** like him. Link to post Share on other sites
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