Cheated in a long distance relationship

[soulfire]

I'm sure many of you have read countless situations about people cheating on their significant other. I've been reading others but I would like to share my specific situation.

 

I met my girlfriend while she was studying abroad here in the US. About a month and a half ago she moved back to her home country. However in 1 week I am going to study abroad in that country.

 

During our time apart we've been rarely talking, due to both our busy lives and the different time zones. When I finally was able to see her face during a skype call a week ago, I told her how much I miss her and love her, but didn't receive a response back. It is her nature to keep her feelings insides, but I really felt neglected and lonely.

 

Last night I had a party at my house and got really drunk, and I kissed a girl on her lips, just a quick peck. I was really feeling "it" in the moment but not even an hour later I started feeling immense guilt. I tried to justify it to myself but I know when it comes down to it, I messed up. I'm glad I didn't let it go past anything but that kiss but I still feel horrible.

 

I'm seeing her in 1 week and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell her but is not telling her the wrong thing to do? Is it a bad choice to live with this guilt and just learn from my mistake?

[Kelemort]

This is why I think that long-distance relationships are pointless - unless you're going to IMMEDIATELY take it off-line and meet...and then from there, deciding what you're going to do (such as who's going to relocate) if things get more serious. A relationship simply isn't going to survive years on end without a direct end-goal. On the plus side, you get a sometimes-relationship where you sometimes see each other and sometimes have the function of a real relationship, but for the most part it's a sad mimicry of a real, interactive relationship.

 

And temptation is much, much easier when your partner is on the other side of the globe.

 

I don't know how long you've been with this girl, how old you each are, etc., but it's time to evaluate what's really important to you. Are you really lonely? How are things in your LDR? What do you want out of a relationship - or the relationship you're having now? Is it just a 'fun' thing (in which an LDR is fine) or are you looking to get serious?

[soulfire]

I've been with her for about 8 months and we are both 21. When she first moved away I was fine with not talking so much because I knew I would meet up with her again in her country. I think the moment that she stopped expressing her feelings with words whenever I would, was when I really started to feel lonely. It felt like we were more emotionally distant than physically distant. Perhaps the only thing I need is for someone to give me the attention I desire. To be honest, I'm really confused now. I still have this love for her but maybe the long distance thing just doesn't work for me.. Even though I will go to her country, I will be living in a different area than her. So it will still be long distance, however we will be in the same time zone at least and I can talk to her more often. I would really like to try to make it work, but now I have this guilt on my back that I don't think I will be able to get rid of, unless maybe I tell her. As you can see, my feelings keep going back and forth in this situation. Any guidance is really appreciated. And thank you Kelemort, you're right, I need to evaluate what's important to me.

[Chi townD]

If it was truely a one second peck on the lips. Hell, to me that's just being friendly for a lot of folks. I would just blow it off. Hell, there are a LOT of worse things you could have done.