Spades Slick Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 My friend is having some existential crisis over this. His girlfriend of 3 years asked him to eat her poop, and he's freaking out, considering breaking up with her. this is a woman who's beautiful, intelligent, and loves him more than anything. Honestly, what's the big deal? I really wanna help him get over this tiny little thing. He'll be heartbroken if he loses her. But i just dont get it. How can he honestly say he loves her if he can't even eat her poop?
D-Lish Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 I wouldn't do it for anyone, not even Matt Damon.
Finch Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Oh, this made me laugh. If someone wants their poop eaten, they should get a dog. Dogs enjoy this sort of thing. To them it's haute cuisine. But they also think dead things make very excellent cologne. Poop is not for people to nom on. :D:D
Art_Critic Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 He won't lose her if he eats her poop.. that is the answer then.. he just needs to eat it..
Author Spades Slick Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 He won't lose her if he eats her poop.. that is the answer then.. he just needs to eat it.. i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??
dreamingoftigers Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 He could say that he loves her a lot more easily without her poop in his mouth. 1
D-Lish Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months?? Are you asking for tips on how to talk your "friend";) into eating poop so he can stay in the relationship??? He should be paranoid about it.
Author Spades Slick Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 Are you asking for tips on how to talk your "friend";) into eating poop so he can stay in the relationship??? He should be paranoid about it. yes, except without the winky face and quotes i see nothing wrong at all with eating her poop what's the big deal?
Author Spades Slick Posted August 15, 2011 Author Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) No i'm not, this is really worrying me because hwen he gets depressed i have to deal with it because we're best bros, but i really dont understand what his problem here is and i need help understanding because he says that it's not just him im sorta offended you're even accusing me of such a thing, i came here looking for some honest help... Edited August 15, 2011 by Spades Slick
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 The fact that this is in "Platonic" "Friendship" should surely give him away!
Trimmer Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 My friend is having some existential crisis over this. His girlfriend of 3 years asked him to eat her poop, and he's freaking out, considering breaking up with her.... ....But i just dont get it. How can he honestly say he loves her if he can't even eat her poop? Oh, man... This thread just cries out for Gold Pile's participation... Where are you when we need you, buddy? i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months?? Heh, funny you should pick that particular phraseology... Either eat it or become it - is that your take on his situation?
The Outlaw Posted September 12, 2011 Posted September 12, 2011 That's beyond insane. Who would want to do that?
Feelin Frisky Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Troll nonsense. Anyone who would do that would be a damn fool. What kind of woman would require that of her SO and then grant him love for doing it. It's disgusting in every dimension.
Starry_Dreamer Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 are you serious? she wants him to eat her poop...? omg im sorry but that is hilarious. she must be a freak LOL
Trimmer Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 No i'm not, this is really worrying me because hwen he gets depressed i have to deal with it because we're best bros, but i really dont understand what his problem here is and i need help understanding because he says that it's not just him If you, OP, don't understand that it is WAY out of the norm to expect someone to eat your poop as a test of love and devotion, then of course you will not be able to understand what his problem is. We all understand that, so we completely understand what his problem is. It seems like there are two compatible people in the room here: you and your best bud's GF both seem to think it's no big deal to expect someone to eat your poop. I think you should snap this girl up at the first opportunity, as it sounds like a match made in heaven to me...
GorillaTheater Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Well, as someone who's been married to the same woman for close to three decades ... Okay, nevermind.
omkara Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 It's a troll thread, guys. Settle down and eat some poo.
Art_Critic Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Hey spades slick... A real friend would take one for the team and offer to eat the poop for him 1
thehead Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I learned in another thread, it's chalk full of fiber. Think of it as a dietary supplement.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Relationships are full of crap. Either eat it, or live it, what is the difference?
ScienceGal Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I wouldn't do it for anyone, not even Matt Damon. not even Ryan Gosling. not even Ryan Gosling's character Noah Calhoun in The Notebook (best guy ever).
Saul Goodman Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I see that you've heard of Night Shift Nurses (I haven't seen it. Somebody else watch it for me and report back). Google the title of this thread. I knew that I'd read that quote before. Edited September 14, 2011 by Saul Goodman
climbergirl Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Tell him to put some on a cracker and pretend it's foie gras.
Vanished Posted September 20, 2011 Posted September 20, 2011 I think the issue is that the OP's girlfriend has already his poop eaten. The OP is having a difficult time explaining to his friend mutuality in a relationship and how it must be respected.
jeffinthecity Posted September 27, 2011 Posted September 27, 2011 OP: Sorry your friend's having such a crappy time with his girl. Reach out to her, tell her to eat his favorite food 24 hours before, and then tell your best bro to chill out and not be such a Debbie Downer about it. Dung deal, man.
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