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How To Handle An FWB


verhrzn

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Well, I just got home from a great, intense workout at the gym and some relaxed afternoon errands. After last night, I have felt like a sex bomb all day, and I think it's showing, because today it seems like the whole world wants to check me out, flirt with me, and be nice to me. AND I got a new client and new big contract today, putting me within $200 of the monthly revenue goal my business partner and I set -- and the month is only halfway over. I feel confident, sexy, pretty, successful, and magnetic.

 

I also feel quite thankful to this sweet guy for sexin' me up so well last night and bringing on this awesome wave of good energy -- and I will thank him amply next time I see him. :cool:

 

Good for you ruby. When you're happy, I'm happy :)

 

:love:

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Ruby Slippers
Good for you ruby. When you're happy, I'm happy :)

 

:love:

:love: That's what he said. :laugh: Well, something close. He said, "I love to make you smile." And right before he took off, he said, "I love making you happy. That makes me happy." :D

 

I am tempted to write him an e-mail and thank him for lighting my fire last night -- but I probably won't, because I don't want to give him false hope.

 

So, like I said, I'll show my appreciation next time... with my bod. :bunny:

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:love: That's what he said. :laugh: Well, something close. He said, "I love to make you smile." And right before he took off, he said, "I love making you happy. That makes me happy." :D

 

I am tempted to write him an e-mail and thank him for lighting my fire last night -- but I probably won't, because I don't want to give him false hope.

 

So, like I said, I'll show my appreciation next time... with my bod. :bunny:

 

Ohhh la la :cool:

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Ruby Slippers

Well, I went and did it. I wrote him a short e-mail telling him exactly what was so great about last night and how good a job he did lighting my fire. The man needs to know!

 

Then I threw out a suggestion for when we shall meet again. I cannot freaking wait. lol

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Well, I went and did it. I wrote him a short e-mail telling him exactly what was so great about last night and how good a job he did lighting my fire. The man needs to know!

 

Then I threw out a suggestion for when we shall meet again. I cannot freaking wait. lol

 

While you are at it you should email him your post from the "what makes sex OMG!" thread ;)

 

Every man should take 2 minutes to read that :laugh:

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Well, I went and did it. I wrote him a short e-mail telling him exactly what was so great about last night and how good a job he did lighting my fire. The man needs to know!

 

Then I threw out a suggestion for when we shall meet again. I cannot freaking wait. lol

 

Now you're just teasing me girl.:cool:

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Well, I went and did it. I wrote him a short e-mail telling him exactly what was so great about last night and how good a job he did lighting my fire. The man needs to know!

 

Then I threw out a suggestion for when we shall meet again. I cannot freaking wait. lol

 

When I see a post this happy, where you're even going so far as to write thank you notes, and you even say this guy seems to want to date you, it really makes me wonder: Why won't you date this guy? It sounds like you really like him. But I might just be reading the tone weird.

 

I know there's some elusive dealbreaker, and feel free to tell me it's too personal or none of mine, but I'm really curious.

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DON'T do it!!!! Run while you still have some respect for yourself (well hopefully).

 

Take this from me. I learned the hard way. If he makes it known that he in fact has no desire for a romantic kind of relationship, BELIEVE him. Don't be a naive, overly-emotional girl like I have been with thinking that he will change his mind the better it starts to go.

 

My situation is verging on identical. And you know what? Here I am a year and a half later (and him sleeping with at least 3 girls that I know of) with no relationship... yayyyyyyy. For HIM. He gets everything he wants but at the end of the day I am left with nothing I want other than constant unhappiness with the way this (still) is. I kept thinking I could change him into wanting to be in a committed relationship. Nope! If it hasn't happened yet, it never will. Well maybe in like... 5 years? 0.o

 

No thanks.

 

I think that very few FWB relationships end well. So in my honest opinion I think you should see other people. As crappy as that may seem to you. Better to get out now rather than actually falling for him. Then you will never let go.

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Ruby Slippers
When I see a post this happy, where you're even going so far as to write thank you notes, and you even say this guy seems to want to date you, it really makes me wonder: Why won't you date this guy? It sounds like you really like him. But I might just be reading the tone weird.

 

I know there's some elusive dealbreaker, and feel free to tell me it's too personal or none of mine, but I'm really curious.

I really don't want to broadcast his personal info here. I don't know why, but it feels like crossing a line to talk about those particular things in "public". I will PM you the info, if you promise to keep it under your hat. :)

 

But believe me, there are two big ones that most people would not argue with.

 

One that I am comfortable discussing is that he is nowhere near on my level intellectually. He's not dumb, but in this arena, I run circles around him. And the biggest turn-on for me is intelligence.

 

There are plenty of other things about him to turn me on for just sex and fun (he's sexually assertive and fun, very cute, playful, masculine, passionate, generous in bed, high drive), but I really can't see myself getting serious with him, given the intellectual disparity -- and the larger issues, of course.

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I've never had a FWB or a **** buddy. I have had sex with people I'm dating exclusively and short-term. For me, if I like you enough to want to have sex with you, I probably like you enough to date you and want to see where it goes. I'm not marriage- or child-minded so my dating goals might be different from most. I also don't really see a difference between FWB and casual dating - I can clearly see the difference between FWB and FB/Booty call, but if it's exclusive, you hang out for purposes other than sex, and you get along, how is that not dating? You can apply and remove the label all you want but it doesn't seem materially different, to me.

 

But I don't knock Ruby's hustle - except to say that this guy sounds like he's too into you and I am hoping this isn't about to get messy.

 

I'm 28, and the men who are in my age in Chicago are in fact, overeager to get into relationships. This, I think, is in part where my relationship problems have stemmed from.

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There are plenty of other things about him to turn me on for just sex and fun (he's sexually assertive and fun, very cute, playful, masculine, passionate, generous in bed, high drive), but I really can't see myself getting serious with him, given the intellectual disparity -- and the larger issues, of course.

 

Have you considered that the time you spend with your FWB is actually hurting your chances of finding someone worthwhile of a relationship?

 

RF

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Well, I went and did it. I wrote him a short e-mail telling him exactly what was so great about last night and how good a job he did lighting my fire. The man needs to know!

 

Then I threw out a suggestion for when we shall meet again. I cannot freaking wait. lol

 

 

:eek:Oh no!

 

Ruby, you are supposed not to have feelings and you are acting like a young girl in love. Why all the romance?? Notes??

 

Looking forward to the next meeting???

Are you sure this is just a FWB?:)

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Ruby Slippers
While you are at it you should email him your post from the "what makes sex OMG!" thread ;)

 

Every man should take 2 minutes to read that :laugh:

:laugh: That could be dangerous. It might lure him right over here this minute -- and he lives very close. haha

 

:eek:Oh no!

 

Ruby, you are supposed not to have feelings and you are acting like a young girl in love. Why all the romance?? Notes??

 

Looking forward to the next meeting???

Are you sure this is just a FWB?:)

And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain. My friend, I'll say it clear. I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full. I've traveled each and every highway. And more, much more than this, I did it

.
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I really don't want to broadcast his personal info here. I don't know why, but it feels like crossing a line to talk about those particular things in "public". I will PM you the info, if you promise to keep it under your hat. :)

 

Oh, of course, anything in PM, I keep private. I'm just curious to know.

 

(I suppose it's because a guy couldn't get me all giddy unless I really liked him, but I know everyone is not like me---you just seem so happy in that post. Tone on the internet is also hard to tell.)

 

Re: intellectual disparity

 

This is going to sound weird, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't have sex with or date a man with whom there was great intellectual disparity. Like you've often said: brains? Total turn on. (It's a sexy organ, guys. ;) ) I've met cute, nice guys and then had them send me grammatically incorrect text messages, and totally lost all attraction to them. (That's an extreme case, but has happened. That guy turned out to be crazy anyway, I found out later through the grapevine, but I had no idea of knowing that.) So, I definitely get what you're saying with that being a problem. Most of the guys I've dated have been ridiculously smart. I think it is hard when you are very smart to date someone who is not -- I know everyone thinks it's easy for men, but my male friends who are very smart (I'm talking the top 5%-10% of intellect type guys) say the same thing and will tell me not to set them up with so-and-so because she's not smart enough, even though she's totally cute.

Edited by zengirl
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I've never had a FWB or a **** buddy. I have had sex with people I'm dating exclusively and short-term. For me, if I like you enough to want to have sex with you, I probably like you enough to date you and want to see where it goes. I'm not marriage- or child-minded so my dating goals might be different from most. I also don't really see a difference between FWB and casual dating - I can clearly see the difference between FWB and FB/Booty call, but if it's exclusive, you hang out for purposes other than sex, and you get along, how is that not dating?from.

 

I'm curious about this too...to the point where I was going to start a thread on it. What is the difference between FWB and casual dating?

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