FinOuch Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 So I decided to be a hermit yesterday, and did not leave my house once. It was great. I got up late, at which point I merely relocated from the bed to the couch to spend the rest of the day parked with remote and book in hand. Played a couple video games in there at some point. And it was FANTASTICALLY relaxing. And then I got an unexpected knock at the door at 8:30. I couldn't tell who it was through the peep hole, and decided to not answer. No biggie. I do it often, as I don't like to answer the door for strangers and was a disheveled mess. But it was the WAY they knocked that stood out. It was the same way in which the ex used to knock... So of course I spent the next two or three hours wondering if it was my ex...coming back in a moment of regret induced weakness, realizing how much he misses me, blah blah blah. How ridiculous. I wish my inner self would just accept that he's not coming back, and even if he did it wouldn't change a thing. It's annoying that I still have these thoughts three months later. Especially when, in reality, it was probably just a solicitor... And now, after weeks of being very good about not e-creeping, I'm battling the strong urge to see what he's been up to on FB...or whether my replacement is still frequently logging on to match.com despite being "in a relationship" with him... You know...all that unnecessary e-stalking that I used to do that just made it harder to let go? So instead of succumbing to that and backsliding - I will post here. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! (repeated until I believe it again) Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I wish I had your willpower (see my hope post today). I don't know why we feel the need to stalk or snoop on exs when we're the dumpee (I never did it as a dumper). I guess it all comes down to wanting to see that they're maybe unhappy as we are, or alone and looking for us to come back, or maybe we just think that by seeing them moved on it will help us heal. Either way, what we find out never leads to anything good... I know that full well today! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 ohh! this sounds like the day i had yesterday. i was hanging out at home all day with my dog and two cats. reading and dozing off. things were going great until around the evening when for some reason i came across a scene in my book that reminded me of the ex and his ex-wife. that got me wondering if they're back together now. he used to wax poetic about her from time to time. and even gave me a detailed account (right down to the weather) of they day they met and they day she told him she was pregnant with their son :/ so of course, he clearly has feelings for her. and of course, that not so helpful thought pattern got me thinking about checking his facebook and seeing if my paranoid hunch was right. i even considered calling and asking him! fortunately i had to presence of mind to pop a sleep aid and was out within 15 mins (it was already 10pm anyway). i don't like to rely on those things to fall asleep but once i start thinking crazy thoughts like that they best way to get rid of them is to sleep them off. and of course from now on i've made a mental note that next time i come across a passage in a book that remotely reminds me of him, to skip over that part Link to post Share on other sites
Arikel Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 I'm chatting with various people on mobile networking apps :/ keeps my fingers and mind occupied even though I am totally uninterested in most people. Still, I find that giving them a chance does reveal some decent people with whom I can have an interesting convo, and it helps get over the loneliness. Some of them I would even meet up, as friends if nothing else. I never would have given them the time of day otherwise. So thats one silver lining! Link to post Share on other sites
lovesickmonkey Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! (repeated until I believe it again) It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! (repeated until I believe it again) Link to post Share on other sites
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