noface Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Me: 21, m. Her: 20 Relationship: 2 years Background: College sweethearts, I left California this past summer to do an internship in London for two months. She leaves for London this Wednesday to study abroad for 4 months. 5 weeks into my time in London, she calls me to tell me that she can't continue in the relationship. Her reasoning (or feelings, rather): she had grown too dependent on me for her happiness, she is growing to love her independence, and she doesn't want to be tied down when she leaves for London. When this happened I started to spiral into a serious depression that was only amplified by the fact that I was living alone in a country that wasn't my own, and the constant dreary weather that London is so famous for. She was opposed to seeing me during the 10 day overlap that we'd both be in LA for, but she agreed to get lunch three days ago. What ensued was a total ****show: we get lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, share laughs, get foot massages, and then retire to her house to discuss things. She reveals how insecure she is about going to London, about how scared she is about being homesick and out of her comfort zone and whatnot. I console her telling her that there's far more to look forward to than to fear. She then reveals how scared she is of losing me as her best friend. She begins crying and I hold her for about half an hour. I leave her house feeling the lowest I've felt in my entire life. Since the break, I've lost around 15 pounds, haven't slept more than a few hours per night, have been in a state of constant nausea, and have not been able to focus on a single thing besides her for more than 2 seconds. I am filled with an overwhelming amount of regret, as I was the one who originally suggested that we study abroad separately, and not together (I naively thought being apart might make us stronger an bring us closer together). I have lost virtually all of the passions I had pre-break up. For example, I was working on starting a business at my university and had made some serious headway before I left for London, but I have no desire to continue with it now. Things have only gotten worse since I saw her. I don't want to lose her as my best friend either, but obviously she's more comfortable with transitioning into friendzone than I am. I am about to start my senior year of college, an extremely important year in which I need to be focusing on seeking full-time employment. In this state, I can see my academic career becoming completely derailed, and I cannot let that happen. I am now beginning to seek professional help and will soon be seeing a psychologist along with a psychiatrist. I am not looking here for a diagnosis, or a moral debate on the merits of antidepressants. I also know that everyone responds differently to this type of medication. I simply want to see if anyone else has any experience with using antidepressants to cope with a serious break-up or loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Dblock10 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 i havent, but a friend of mine did. it made him worse. I would stay away from them really. i asked him how they made him feel and he said more angry! sorry to hear of your story, its kinda similar to mine, she is off to travel. so i suggested it wouldnt work but deep down i did... then she thought about it and decided i was right, then decided its not practical. and here i am! either way she would have come to that conclusion herself i think she was just to cowardly to be the one to address it. your situation is hard, 2 years is a long time hey! cant you be friends? will you two be in the same area again some time down the line? what are you going to do? Link to post Share on other sites
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