I'm in so much pain. It's kinda long, but I've held everything in for so long...:*(

[SassyGirl]

I'm only 17 and I'm completely heartbroken. I'm a junior in high school and my ex (a senior who will be graduating in about a month) dumped me a little over 8 months ago. I can't seem to let go. It just hurts so bad.

 

I'm so in love with this guy. I started dating him when I was 14 and it was so good. I lost my virginity to him my freshman year; I had never been so close to anyone. He loved me so much. I know he did. I just don't understand why he just suddenly turned on me.

 

Now all I get from him are lies. Whenever it seems I'm getting better/moving on, he does something to bring me back. I was doing so well, then he called and cooed "I love you" into the phone. Oh no.. It was downhill from there. He'll suddenly go all, "I love you", hold my hand, act like he used to, etc and my heart just melts and I end up giving in. For a while, it was like we were back together, only unofficially. Well, I understand that a person cannot be controlled, even if they are your bf/gf, and I never tried to control him, but he acts as if I do.

 

He never used to drink or smoke and now I found out he recently has at some party. He didn't even tell me he went and I heard it from one of my best friends. Then he calls a couple of days after he hears people talking about it and asks if I've heard, completely denying it and promising me he hasn't done anything that would hurt me or anything he knows I wouldn't like.

 

He promised me a long time ago he'd take me to prom even if we had broken up and went as friends. Him and his best friends took twin girls that are in my grade to prom last night. They ditched a girl they were both taking for the twins. He didn't even tell me he was going. He went to get his tux the night after he called me. He hasn't called me since. I heard from friends he said if he wasn't taking me, he wasn't taking anyone, but if he went, he wanted to go alone so he could talk and dance with other girls. Then another friend told me that he said next year would be my senior year and I'd be able to go with whoever I wanted and **** whoever I wanted. Then he laughed about it.

 

He's planning a trip to Washington with two of his best friends (a guy and a girl) (we're in deep south tx) and he hasnt even told me about it. All these things I've asked him about indirectly and he totally plays it off. I asked him if he had plans for summer, prom, etc and he says no as if he's so innocent. He thinks I know nothing, but omg, it all comes back to me! And my heart breaks when he lies to me about it.

 

A while back, I did a bad thing. For one, I ended up kissing his guy best friend. Well, he kissed me, but I didn't exactly fight it. I had just found out he kissed that girl so I think I was just trying to even it out. It didn't. He doesn't know. Anywho, I gave in and slept with my ex. We've been sleeping together. The last time was about three weeks ago. I guess I'm good enough for him to ****, but not good enought to take to prom.

 

Oh yeah, he kissed a girl in my grade and hasn't admitted it either, but he got jealous when a senior guy wanted to ask me to prom and gets jealous of guys who talk to me or wanna talk to me. He has a really bad temper and ends up punching walls and stuff. I think he just wants to have me there.

 

He says he still loves me and sometimes I believe it, but I just don't know. I can't deal anymore. It hurts so much. I have no spark anymore. I feel literally sick to my stomache.

 

He said the first time we slept together after the breakup (a month or two later), after he took my home, he cried because he felt so bad for hurting me and said he still loved me so much. He told me this a while back.

 

Oh yeah, when he first broke up with me, it was online and he said it was because "he was tired of the whole gf/bf ****". Help..please..I don't know what to do. I know so much and he doesn't know I know so I end up acting as if everything is all right. I feel so fake. I'm going insane. He lies to my face and promises and tells me he loves me. It breaks my heart all over again. Help, please..advice..something. I'm only 17. I shouldn't feel like this. I regret meeting him sometimes...

 

The only thing I can seem to do is cry and wait for him to care.

[meanon]

That's not the only thing you can do. You can tell him to take a hike. You will feel bad for a while but you'll get over him - you are crying now anyway.

 

If you don't, he will keep making you think he cares and then you find out he doesn't. He is messing you about big time. He will keep making you cry as long as you let him.

 

This guy is a loser - you deserve better. This is your first big relationship. Learn from it that you need to leave as soon as someone makes you feel this bad about yourself. You'll be OK, more than that you will love someone else in time - choose someone who makes you happy.

[CoolGoose]

baby, i can totally relate with u and let me tell u its going to take a long time before u get over it...i had a similar relationship which was my first too and its been a year since we broke up... im still not over him completely and hv terribly depressive episodes and crying spells..

 

But i also know that its for my own good that we broke up... Take a hold of urself...U absolutely know wat this guy is doing to u ... plz dont turn a blind eye to him in the name of love... u will only allow him to continue hurting u and physically abusing and raping u ... my words may seem harsh but i know that for a girl, sex is next to rape if she knows the guy is cheating her

 

Dont melt by him touching u and him telling u he loves u... He is so good at it he knows how to get it out of u ... plz dont see him as ur lover but as a womanizer who is so unlucky that he lost a girl like u

 

i know u must b regretting being physically involved with him or the other guy but honey, u hv to realize that u loved him truly at one point in time n thats what made u do all that

 

As u say ure only 17 , u hv ur whole life ahead of u and while u may never forget the person u lost ur virginity to, u will also realize that u will b more cautious with ur physical relationships now .

 

If u need any help or support , im here

 

take care of urself