ShortFuze Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 I've been single for about 3 years now. I haven't dated for about 2 years. And i'm feeling lonely and depressed. Eventhough I know once I do get into a relationship again it's going to be stressful and it's going to hurt but I surely do miss it. I do want to get into another one though because I haven't had an official girlfriend for 3 years. I just miss loving someone and that someone loving me. I miss the phone conversations...the cuddling. I've seen girls that I wanted to talk to but I never do say a word. I guess I'm just too afraid or sometimes I don't think about it. I've had many chances but I really never think about it when I'm in the position. I'll think about it after I leave that position which makes me really angry and upset. Anyways..I just thought I share this thought with everyone cause I haven't told anyone else about this. I'm feeling lonely and it's making me depressed. How does this feeling go away? Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 I was single for a number of years in a row too, although I did date during that time. It can be lonely, but try doing things just for you, to make you feel special...use the time wisely to grow and enjoy life and become who you really are. As for fear of goingout with someone...perhaps you need to speak to someone or a counsellor about what may be holding you back? The first steps are always the hardest...be open to meeting someone, without worrying about it too much...and things usually happen when you least expect it. Get out- join groups, open yourself up to situations where you can meet someone. Good luck. I hope you feel better soon. Actively do things to make your life the way you want it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Even though I know once I do get into a relationship again it's going to be stressful and it's going to hurt but I surely do miss it. What a strange thing to say? Surely you don't mean that? ThinkaLot has given you some good advice - "Get out- join groups, open yourself up to situations where you can meet someone. ". and remember, people are more attracted to those who are happy and confident, not lonely & depressed. If you approach a potential relationship with the assumption that here is the answer to your lonliness & depression you're putting yourself in a vicious and manic circle. Work on being happy & confident within yourself and by yourself - the rest will come with no effort at all. And if it doesn't - well so what? You'll be a happy & confident single person - there are millions of them out there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShortFuze Posted May 2, 2004 Author Share Posted May 2, 2004 Originally posted by Thinkalot I was single for a number of years in a row too, although I did date during that time. It can be lonely, but try doing things just for you, to make you feel special...use the time wisely to grow and enjoy life and become who you really are. As for fear of goingout with someone...perhaps you need to speak to someone or a counsellor about what may be holding you back? The first steps are always the hardest...be open to meeting someone, without worrying about it too much...and things usually happen when you least expect it. Get out- join groups, open yourself up to situations where you can meet someone. Good luck. I hope you feel better soon. Actively do things to make your life the way you want it to be. Thanks for your response. The thing is I do go out and have fun. I party..go clubbing..have an all guy night out just drinking and having fun...but I'm still sad about it. About talking to a counsellor...I don't think I could ever do that. My depression hasn't gone to that point and I wouldn't want it to. The funny thing is I have talked to girls in the past with me saying the first word. But as of today it is still very difficult to say that first word. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShortFuze Posted May 2, 2004 Author Share Posted May 2, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate Even though I know once I do get into a relationship again it's going to be stressful and it's going to hurt but I surely do miss it. What a strange thing to say? Surely you don't mean that? ThinkaLot has given you some good advice - "Get out- join groups, open yourself up to situations where you can meet someone. ". and remember, people are more attracted to those who are happy and confident, not lonely & depressed. If you approach a potential relationship with the assumption that here is the answer to your lonliness & depression you're putting yourself in a vicious and manic circle. Work on being happy & confident within yourself and by yourself - the rest will come with no effort at all. And if it doesn't - well so what? You'll be a happy & confident single person - there are millions of them out there! Yea I know that is a strange thing to say. There are more goods then downs though. But that's what couples face in a relationship and I don't mind going through all that. I don't want it to seem like the first girl I talk to and that likes me will be the answer to my lonliness and depression. I would never do that to get happiness and feel occupied and loved. I'll never find the answer to my lonliness and depression that way because that is wrong and that is sad. I rather find the answer unexpectly without me realizing it. That is true though when you say "the rest will come with no effort at all." Cause things tend to happen when I least expect it which is always a good thing. I guess when you really want to do something like say if someone's plan is to go to a party or a club to meet a girl and get her number...that will never work out because you are trying to hard. So just go to that party or club just to dance and have fun and good things will happen since you didn't plan anything besides having fun. You make a good point! Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 I met my guy when I least expected it! Not worrying and being confident does help. And, don't be shy of seeing a counsellor. I was once...but they've helped me through some tough times, and I no longer feel funny about asking for help if I need it- even if it is simply to sort through feelings. You don't even have to be depressed for that! Link to post Share on other sites
Vampyre Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 I understand where you coming from.. Been Single and divorced for 3 years now... I just can't seem to meet anyone, I'm so tired of being alone.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShortFuze Posted May 4, 2004 Author Share Posted May 4, 2004 Originally posted by Vampyre I understand where you coming from.. Been Single and divorced for 3 years now... I just can't seem to meet anyone, I'm so tired of being alone.... I'm sorry to hear that..there are many guys out there...it's just hard to find the right one. One day that will come...just as I'm still waiting to meet the right girl. Good luck..I'm sure you will find happiness and that someone one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Vampyre Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Originally posted by ShortFuze I'm sorry to hear that..there are many guys out there...it's just hard to find the right one. One day that will come...just as I'm still waiting to meet the right girl. Good luck..I'm sure you will find happiness and that someone one day. Yep I'm sure I will meet the right gril one day, I have some issues with woman I have to work through.. YOu know it's the same old story.. I've been burned way to many times.. etc... Vamps Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 I was single and didn't date for a couple years, too. I was really depressed about it, too, because I was starting to worry that I would always be single. I was SO afraid of women. Looking back, I think it was because I was afraid of relationships. I hadn't dealt with a lot of the real reasons my previous relationships failed. As much as I wanted to be with someone, I also didn't want that at all. Even though I've been with my girlfriend for over two years now, I'm still working that stuff out of my system. I'm sorry she's had to deal with it all, but someone would have had to. I wasn't going to do it by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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