Sign of Better days to come??

[Wesker]

So I'm about 2 1/2 months out from my ex dumping me after almost 8 years together. Yeah, I've felt like utter crap, especially after finding out she's possibly getting married soon. That is until a few days ago. Ever since she broke up with me, I've been jogging, and working out more. I'm at my leanest I've been in a long time. This weekend while doing my 3 mile jogs, I beat my all time record at a little over 25mins. Now I'm no world class runner, or Mr. Joe Six pack (at least not yet), so that my not be much to brag about. I've never been able to do better than 26mins though. And today, I did even better. I actually felt pretty decent for the first time in a long time. My confidence may have started coming back too. I just hope this is a start of great things to come.

 

Now granted, I still have that empty feeling with me too. Like I've done all these achievements, but nobody to share with. I know I prolly still have a ways to go before I'm really moved-on. It does help a bit that she left more for a dude that is almost 9 years older than her, and way more fat.

[wilsonx]

So I'm about 2 1/2 months out from my ex dumping me after almost 8 years together. Yeah, I've felt like utter crap, especially after finding out she's possibly getting married soon. That is until a few days ago. Ever since she broke up with me, I've been jogging, and working out more. I'm at my leanest I've been in a long time. This weekend while doing my 3 mile jogs, I beat my all time record at a little over 25mins. Now I'm no world class runner, or Mr. Joe Six pack (at least not yet), so that my not be much to brag about. I've never been able to do better than 26mins though. And today, I did even better. I actually felt pretty decent for the first time in a long time. My confidence may have started coming back too. I just hope this is a start of great things to come.

 

Now granted, I still have that empty feeling with me too. Like I've done all these achievements, but nobody to share with. I know I prolly still have a ways to go before I'm really moved-on. It does help a bit that she left more for a dude that is almost 9 years older than her, and way more fat.

 

Your achievements are to share with you. You don't need to share them with anyone else. It's almost like you are trying to validate yourself to someone else.

 

As far as your ex leaving you for someone else like him, its better lol. Let her go, my ex left me for someone 14 years older then her, lives in a trailer, is a cook at a movie theater, and doesnt drive. Have you seen the movie Big Daddy? Can you guess her 10 year plan?

 

Just laugh shrug it off and keep doing what you are doing. I know it hurts but keep doing all those positive things for you 26 minutes for 3 miles is better then my time and I jog 5

[light_vader]

Your achievements are to share with you. You don't need to share them with anyone else. It's almost like you are trying to validate yourself to someone else.

Well said.

 

As for the other part... the "she left me for someone else older/fatter/uglier" bla bla. I was there and to be honest I don't feel proud of it, because that's just being shallow.

Whoever she is with now (richer, poorer, fatter, slimmer, society-uglier, society-better-looking, taller, shorter), does it really make a difference? That's just hatred taking part, don't, or you won't be able to move on in a healthy way.

 

Just keep on working on yourself and improving your life, which is after all, what matters the most.

[giuliano-3]

Well said.

 

As for the other part... the "she left me for someone else older/fatter/uglier" bla bla. I was there and to be honest I don't feel proud of it, because that's just being shallow.

Whoever she is with now (richer, poorer, fatter, slimmer, society-uglier, society-better-looking, taller, shorter), does it really make a difference? That's just hatred taking part, don't, or you won't be able to move on in a healthy way.

 

Just keep on working on yourself and improving your life, which is after all, what matters the most.

 

Yeah. A bit ashamed over here on that count, fatter/grey-haired/richer shouldn't matter one bit. If you dwell on what the new BF/GF has or doesn't have it will doom the recovery time. They shouldn't even be thought about period. Tough to do. If they were a friend or someone you knew before, I could imagine that being a good deal tougher still.

 

Keep running, W, its a good habit to get into. It being 110 (40) degrees over here for 4 weeks straight, I don't have that luxury.

 

You'll find people along the way to share experiences with. After 8 years, so many shared memories, its gotta be hard to look forward and imagine new people/places/things which have nothing to do with your ex. I really have no clue what that must be like for you. Expand your hobbies, seek new places, try to remember things you thought you might want to do way back when. 2 1/2 months ain't that long, you need to keep the momentum going forward. Do it.

[Wesker]

You guys are prolly right about it shouldn't matter who she left me for. I am above that. I think what makes it hard though is that we all work at the same place, so there's going to be times where I'll catch a glimpse of them together all "lovey dovey"; and think to myself. "You left me for that, really?"

 

But like everyone says, it's all about me. She's the one that quit on me. She's the one that left. If her life goes down the gutter, or not. It's really not my problem anymore. This whole thing could wind up being a blessing in disguise someday down the road.

[antinko]

Yeh, be proud of your achievements. I was tempted to let my ex know about my recent success but came to the conclusion that she didn't deserve to know and it wouldn't have achieved anything anyway.

 

If you want to share your successes, it can be uplifting to do so on this forum. People appreciate seeing the positives which can come out during the coping period and helps motivate them.