faire l'amour Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Okay...I'm not sure of what to do about this, so any suggestions would be great. I'm just really confused right now. I've been with my bf for six months now, and a few weeks ago we had a pregnancy scare. At first he acted like everything was fine...then when I asked him if he would pick up a pregnancy test for me, he flipped. I even said that I would pay for it, but I was at work and I couldn't stop worrying about it. Finally after arguing with him for about an hour, he gave in and came over to pick up some money and got the test. After I took it, I called him and told him the results...an in-betweener. I told him I was going to take the other one in the morning. The entire day was horrible. He told me that if I was pregnant, that he wanted me to give it up for adoption. I told him I couldn't do that, and he told me that we would have to cuz of money issues. I then told him that my family would help us out, and that my mother had told me that if I tried to adopt it out, she would adopt it, cuz it's family. Then he proceeded to say that it didn't matter and that he wouldn't want someone elses help and he refused to live on welfare. Thank god it turned out negative...and it's been about a few weeks or so, and I'm still bothered by the fact that he wanted to give it up for adoption. I have friends and relatives telling me that I should leave him, cuz he's irresponsible and they don't understand why he would say something like that...even after I expressed why I couldn't give it up. So they think he doesn't care about my feelings at all. He's 21 and I'm 20. I know we're both young, but hey...I feel that if you decide to take the risk, if it happens...take responsability for it. ' Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 You two have 2 different opinions of what your responsibility is. There are plenty of wonderful families that would love to adopt a baby. It's hardly irresponsible to put your child up for adoption when you don't feel you can take care of the child as you think it deserves. I'm hearing some alarm bells here, myself. You and your boyfriend have entirely different feelings on the matter of pregnancy that is for sure. You were able to figure out exactly what would happen to you and your baby; before you even knew you were pregnant your own mother knew about it (weird to me) - it sounds like you and your mother pretty much wanted the baby. He clearly does not want a baby - he's not ready for the financial responsibility of supporting it, to say nothing of whether he's prepared emotionally. This doesn't mean he's not able to take responsibility, it means he takes providing for children very seriously. That's not something "your feelings" can make disappear. This can be a big deal, especially later in life. Marriages have broken up over the issue of having children. If you plan to stay together for any length of time and plan to have more of these "accidents" (what's the matter with your birth control? maybe it's time to find a better method.) then you should talk this over. Link to post Share on other sites
AngelicDevl Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 I sounds to me like you and your bf have very differing opinions on pregnancy and children. I would suggest that you sit down and talk about what would happen if there was a real pregnancy. Dont let him ignore you or put you off. It's very important that you know where each other stand with something like this. And dont change your opinion orlet him push you intosomething you dont want to do just to keep him. If he doesnt respect your decision, you dont need to be with him. If he cant deal with the consequences like an adult, he should keep his pants on. Link to post Share on other sites
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