Dating girl half my age

[sally4sara]

I don't think a 20 year old makes the OP qualify for almost pedo town. While sure, I wasn't as wise at 20 as I am today I certainly was my own entity and could choose for myself what kind of situations I did and didn't want to be involved in. I really wouldn't have appreciated someone coming along and challenging my choice of whom to be involved with by tossing out serious labels like "pedo". It would have made me feel like they were suggesting no one would want to be with me if not for having some sexual psychosis. And who of us, once we reach an adult age really appreciates someone trying to suggest we should still run every choice we consider by others?

 

Now that said, this is a money for sex situation and all the flowery tongue in cheek ways one can word it won't change the fact that HE sure doesn't see anything real with young chicky to be appropriate with someone his age or he wouldn't feel monetary compensation was necessary. The profit of sex is the pleasure of it and the need for any other compensation is when you have to recognize even the offerer doesn't think this situation is proper. Deep down he feels he needs to make something up to her for the use of her body.

[marlena]

Well said Sally. No matter how you try to embellish it, it is what it is. But this is Gold Pile, remember. Great storyteller (with or without money!)

[Nexus One]

But this is Gold Pile, remember. Great storyteller (with or without money!)

 

I'm not familiar with his reputation. Can you elaborate?

[marlena]

Gold Pile is a great storyteller and writer. Everything he writers is fictitious to me. Oh, he also has a great sense of humour. Interesting fellow!

[ThsAmericanLife]

not so great story teller and nothing funny about the situation he is posing.

 

This kind of story is as old as time... Certainly begs for a bit more creativity, if that is the case.

 

I can think of a few twists...

 

1) maybe she really is (secretly) a trust-fund baby and only lied about her financial disadvantage because she didn't think someone twice her age would be interested in her.

 

2) maybe she isn't really 20, and just looks 20. She's very advanced and graduated high school early. She's actually only 17.

 

3) This young lady is actually one of his daughter's friends.

 

4) He secretly wants to date her mom, and he thinks he'll get some good word of mouth or a kinky threesome if he goes through the daughter first.

 

5) She's actually 30, not 20... and decided to go to school later in life. She is lying about her age so she can find a sugar-daddy.

 

... any other suggestions?

[marlena]

not so great story teller and nothing funny about the situation he is posing.

 

This kind of story is as old as time... Certainly begs for a bit more creativity, if that is the case.

 

I can think of a few twists...

 

1) maybe she really is (secretly) a trust-fund baby and only lied about her financial disadvantage because she didn't think someone twice her age would be interested in her.

 

2) maybe she isn't really 20, and just looks 20. She's very advanced and graduated high school early. She's actually only 17.

 

3) This young lady is actually one of his daughter's friends.

 

4) He secretly wants to date her mom, and he thinks he'll get some good word of mouth or a kinky threesome if he goes through the daughter first.

 

5) She's actually 30, not 20... and decided to go to school later in life. She is lying about her age so she can find a sugar-daddy.

 

... any other suggestions?

 

Actually I do. Totally enamored by his Lolita, he signs over his entire fortune to her. She then finds a sexy, virile lover barely twenty and off they go riding into the sunset. Not very original I know but surely a lesson to be learned.

[PinkInTheLimo]

I don't want it to seem like some sleezy cash for sex deal.

 

But that's what it is, isn't it? So why call it anything else than what it is.

 

Anyhow, what is the best way to present the scenario to her?

 

Djeezes, so you are asking us how you can manipulate her into your scheme ?

 

She's 20 years old for god's sake! If you are 40, you should keep your filthy hands off her. Be a friend for her, a real friend. She's in a dire financial situation, why don't you give her some advice on how she can find a good student job instead of manipulating her in some kind of "prostitute" situation.

 

You clearly have no decency nor morals.

Edited August 16, 2011 by PinkInTheLimo

[marlena]

Hey, Gold Pile, how are you dating her if you are only buying her lunch? Does she know you are dating her?

[ThsAmericanLife]

Actually I do. Totally enamored by his Lolita, he signs over his entire fortune to her. She then finds a sexy, virile lover barely twenty and off they go riding into the sunset. Not very original I know but surely a lesson to be learned.

 

Nice!! and probably pretty close to reality...

[Art_Critic]

you should keep your filthy hands off her.

 

Hey.. no need to start throwing around insults.. this is GP we are talking about..

He may be filthy rich but that doesn't mean his hands are filthy

[Gold Pile]

Except for one twisted poster thinking a 20 (almost 21)year old is jail bait, many good points have been covered here, thank you.

 

As much as I wish she would sleep with me for 100% wholesome reasons, it probably wouldn't happen that way. I urge you to focus on the 30 day emotional relief of having a credit card payment taken care of. Focus more on that and less on the actual cash. A months worth of less stress in exchange for an evening with me, not some hourly romp with an unknown "john".

 

Most women have enjoyed their bedroom time with me, many repeatedly came back for more. So many times I had to juggle dates with 3 women. Our age difference may bother her some but she will get satisfied.

 

I'm not entirely comfortable with parting with my money as I have not in my life "paid for it". I am mature and can work through such issues. I want to find a way to present it to her (the plan, not my tool:p) in a way that will help her fathom the issues with minimal fret.

 

If you can help me with a method that focuses less on the money and more on the comforting friends factor, I'd be most thankful.

PS: Marlena, thank you for the kind words and I like the opera idea. A chance to dress up is indeed near and dear to any young woman

Edited August 16, 2011 by Gold Pile

[Gold Pile]

Hey.. no need to start throwing around insults.. this is GP we are talking about..

He may be filthy rich but that doesn't mean his hands are filthy

Hi Art, thanks for the defense. I am clean as a whistle.

[marlena]

Hi Art, thanks for the defense. I am clean as a whistle.

 

You know we all love you to smithereens! Any chance of you blowing some of that money on an Aegean cruise?

 

And no, you cannot bring your lovely Lolita!!

[Nexus One]

As much as I wish she would sleep with me for 100% wholesome reasons, it probably wouldn't happen that way.

 

I wouldn't want it any other way, the fact that you would tells me something about you.

 

I urge you to focus on the 30 day emotional relief of having a credit card payment taken care of. Focus more on that and less on the actual cash. A months worth of less stress in exchange for an evening with me, not some hourly romp with an unknown "john".

 

That's nothing short of prostitution you're wanting her to perform. You even seem to have thought out the psychology behind it, that's just messed up. Initially I thought you wanted to genuinely help her, but apparently not.

 

If you can help me with a method that focuses less on the money and more on the comforting friends factor, I'd be most thankful.

 

I'm not sure if you're for real here, a troll or like Marlena said "a story teller".

[Gold Pile]

nexus:

"Initially I thought you wanted to genuinely help her, but apparently not."

I really would enjoy helping her, please have zero doubts about that. Just being honest here, we need to be closer b4 I offer that kind of help. You can say I'm being exploitive but she would be the exploitive one if I helped her without us being very close.

 

As evidenced by this thread it is a touchy subject and I don't want it to play out in a bad way. I've already learned a few pitfalls to avoid. For her sake (and even for mine) I'm asking for that elusive, classy way to run this by her, and NOT hurt her.

 

2 people can have a rewarding time, or one or both can get hurt. I just want it to come out good.

 

Marlena, aww shucks:o, If you like....nay....love me:love: as much as I love you, then I only have to win you over with my looks and charm. No cruises.

But you and I alone in a small boat sounds great. To quote Ted Kennedy (about women on boats) "it's good because she has nowhere to run"

[FitChick]

If the two people are upfront about what they want -- the man wants sex, the woman money -- it's nobody's business. I went to college with a woman who dated older men who practically peed in their pants (some were so old they did pee in their pants) that a hot college student "wanted" them. She wanted the finer things in life and got them. She wasn't cruel or anything and both seemed to enjoy their time together, but she was always the one who broke their hearts. I kind of felt sorry for them.

 

I am also in favor of legalizing and taxing prostitution.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Except for one twisted poster thinking a 20 (almost 21)year old is jail bait, many good points have been covered here, thank you.

 

As much as I wish she would sleep with me for 100% wholesome reasons, it probably wouldn't happen that way. I urge you to focus on the 30 day emotional relief of having a credit card payment taken care of. Focus more on that and less on the actual cash. A months worth of less stress in exchange for an evening with me, not some hourly romp with an unknown "john".

 

Most women have enjoyed their bedroom time with me, many repeatedly came back for more. So many times I had to juggle dates with 3 women. Our age difference may bother her some but she will get satisfied.

 

I'm not entirely comfortable with parting with my money as I have not in my life "paid for it". I am mature and can work through such issues. I want to find a way to present it to her (the plan, not my tool:p) in a way that will help her fathom the issues with minimal fret.

 

If you can help me with a method that focuses less on the money and more on the comforting friends factor, I'd be most thankful.

PS: Marlena, thank you for the kind words and I like the opera idea. A chance to dress up is indeed near and dear to any young woman

 

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe for her sex is something that belongs in a real profound relationship? That sex is not an exchange product for her?

 

In any case, seen the age difference and you being the older one of the two, you should have the decency to know that this is not a situation of two consenting adults. Most 20-year old girls are too young and fragile to make the right decisions for themselves. Hence the reason why you should do it and stick to your role as an older, platonic friend.

 

You are an immoral perpetrator. She is in a vulnerable position and you want to take advantage of that.

 

Imagine if you would have a 20 year old daughter, would you want her to meet a guy like you?

[Gold Pile]

pinklimo:

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe for her sex is something that belongs in a real profound relationship? That sex is not an exchange product for her?

You do bring up a good point. I've been assuming that she (like her generation) is less uptight about sex. Its something to do for fun. As much as we've talked, she hasn't mentioned a sex life. I haven't even dreamed that she could be a virgin. I need to explore the subject with her. Thanks for your help.

I disagree that a 20 year old adult isn't capable of making responsible adult choices

[Gold Pile]

If the two people are upfront about what they want -- the man wants sex, the woman money -- it's nobody's business. I went to college with a woman who dated older men who practically peed in their pants (some were so old they did pee in their pants) that a hot college student "wanted" them. She wanted the finer things in life and got them. She wasn't cruel or anything and both seemed to enjoy their time together, but she was always the one who broke their hearts. I kind of felt sorry for them.

I am also in favor of legalizing and taxing prostitution.

aside from the prostitution remark and the broken hearts, I like your take on things.

 

Yes I do want sex and yes she needs money.... both parties understanding this will help. But I don't want it to reek of a cash for sex deal. It should be a very friendly affair. I'm too wise to get a broken heart and I want to be wise enough that she doesn't get hurt either. I don't pee my pants, at least not by accident anyway

[PinkInTheLimo]

But I don't want it to reek of a cash for sex deal.

 

But that clearly is what it is!!!

 

And don't pretend you care one bit about her getting hurt or not, this is just about you wanting to have sex with her.

 

Why don't you go to a prostitute?

[KathyM]

ok, less than half my age.

As some of you know, I've down-sized my life and am prosperous enough to only work the occasional PT job here and there. It keeps me in pocket money and keeps me out there for dating possibilities.

 

A coworker, a 20 year old college girl, is in pretty sad financial shape. The classic story of student loans etc. Once a week I treat her to dinner at a decent chain restaurant, the best meal she has all week. Its a low pressure dinner date because she isn't thinking of me as more than a friendly older guy. She has become very comfortable with me, combined with her financial stress , I think she could be convinced to turn our dates into over-niters , her knowing that I would always help an intimate friend out. (now and then) Her credit card bill is aprox $200 a month. I'd could shoulder that burden. I'd be glad to do it, helping someone out is what I'm all about.

 

Although I think she'd be receptive, I still need to find a classy, delicate way of running it by her. I don't want it to seem like some sleezy cash for sex deal. just two friends sleeping together, a relationship warm enough that the older one is willing to help the younger one out. I don't want to be labeled as a sugardaddy anymore than she'd want to be called a sugarbaby.

 

Anyhow, what is the best way to present the scenario to her?

Don't lower yourself by resorting to buying sex. Have some self respect. You'd probably be insulting her if you offered. Don't put her in the position of being a kept woman. It's not respectful to either party. Don't take advantage of her financial desperation. That would be really low.

[Hot Chick]

There is a website devoted to this, and it's booming. There's an article in the Huffington Post about it. There are young "college babies" who are on the "dating site" to be matched up with "sugar daddies" with the expectation that there will be money given to the young woman for hookups.

Sorry but this is prostitution...however you are serious about this, and if this young woman is going to sell herself, don't you think she is going to hold out for more than a measly $200 a month? I think to make this seriously worth her effort and time, you are going to need to shell out $1000 plus a month. $200 is a joke for what you're expecting of her. At least I would hope if she's willing to go to that level, she would have enough self-value and respect to know that she is worth a lot more than $200 a month....

Edited August 16, 2011 by Hot Chick

[Gold Pile]

This isn't cash for sex!!!! The cash would be my free and generous assistance to a friend in need. Were not close enough friends yet, the relationship needs to be more intimate b4 I'd be comfortable helping her.

 

I'm sure $200 would be most useful to her. Certainly she'd command more as a prostitute but she isn't one and I'm not looking for one.

 

Just saying I would help a CLOSE friend out, and I'd like her to know she could be just such a friend. Yes I want sex, who doesn't ?, but I also don't want anything but the best for her.

[D-Lish]

This isn't cash for sex!!!! The cash would be my free and generous assistance to a friend in need. Were not close enough friends yet, the relationship needs to be more intimate b4 I'd be comfortable helping her.

 

I'm sure $200 would be most useful to her. Certainly she'd command more as a prostitute but she isn't one and I'm not looking for one.

 

Just saying I would help a CLOSE friend out, and I'd like her to know she could be just such a friend. Yes I want sex, who doesn't ?, but I also don't want anything but the best for her.

 

GP, the fact that you want to help out your fellow man (or college girl) makes you a philanthropist, not a John- never let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

 

You're doing good work, keep it up;).

[CarrieT]

This isn't cash for sex!!!! The cash would be my free and generous assistance to a friend in need. Were not close enough friends yet, the relationship needs to be more intimate b4 I'd be comfortable helping her.

 

I'm sure $200 would be most useful to her. Certainly she'd command more as a prostitute but she isn't one and I'm not looking for one.

 

Just saying I would help a CLOSE friend out, and I'd like her to know she could be just such a friend. Yes I want sex, who doesn't ?, but I also don't want anything but the best for her.

 

 

This contradicts what you said in your first post:

"I think she could be convinced to turn our dates into over-niters , her knowing that I would always help an intimate friend out. (now and then)"

You are now trying to rationalize your way out of a circular argument you have created in your mind.

 

If you truly want the best for her, than don't add any form of money to your relationship. It does not teach a struggling, young college student any form of fiscal responsibility to be given cash under any circumstances. The best thing you could do is give her the wisdom of experience and age WITHOUT TRYING TO BED HER.

 

Be a friend, by all means. But you started off the thread combining the concepts of turning your meals into over-night visits AND giving her money. What else are we supposed to think?