NC whining..lol

[TurningTables]

Hey you....stop that right now (wondering about the missing ring!!!!). He may have taken it off to lure his next victim or he may have forgotten it or he may have purposely not worn it to get YOU wondering!!!!! Stop. Stop. Stop!!

 

Moving forward, not backward, ya hear??

 

 

LOL. FO: Thank you! ((HUGS)) I dont know what it is about week 3/4 of NC with me! Something always happens to break it. I was just thinking about this last night. If I can just get over this small "hump", I know I will be in the clear. It sucks, but Im dealing with it. Im actually looking forward to school starting. I will be graduating in the spring!

[TurningTables]

Amen to this!!

 

Actually, a friend of mine attends and they do sometimes. He said in the heat of the moment, they know each other well, things can get out of hand.

 

I still cant figure out where this is coming from though. lol

[all3sides]

I wondered if my xMM missed me too.

 

But missing me isn't having me.

 

I told him that no one that couldn't be 100% mine never would have me.

 

That's not him and never will be.

 

Makes me sad but that is my choice to make.

[fooled once]

I also hate that questions that nags me! So I seconded your quote Miss Bee! However, I know that I <dont > want him by default, so I am holding my own. Ive put a plan together if I see him at school, I know what I need to do if we should run into each other. I know its going to happen sooner or later, but I am hoping Im strong enough to put everything into action for him to know Im truly done.

 

I know you will get through it. Know how I know? Because I know there is NO WAY you want to go backwards and start all over with the healing! I know that YOU know living this way is NOT really living and you deserve - D-E-S-E-R-V-E so much more. Did you read that? DESERVE so much more!! :)

 

LOL. FO: Thank you! ((HUGS)) I dont know what it is about week 3/4 of NC with me! Something always happens to break it. I was just thinking about this last night. If I can just get over this small "hump", I know I will be in the clear. It sucks, but Im dealing with it. Im actually looking forward to school starting. I will be graduating in the spring!

 

Just like the little engine that could "I think I can, I think I can!!" YOU CAN and YOU WILL!.

 

Congrats to graduating in the spring. Keep your eyes on the prize my friend!!! :bunny:

[SunsetRed]

Excellent post Turning!!

 

I have been NC for 13 years I am doing great. Happily married.

 

I agree, NC should be celebrated; not turned into something negative. I love it when women get to a point where they aren't preoccupied with the # of hours or days it has been -- when they say its been a few months or several week - no specific countdown of time

 

Thanks Fooled Once..I keep forgetting that you're xMM was from years ago and that you're happily married now.

 

Maybe there's hope for me. I want to overcome whatever disfunctional part of me keeps me from finding someone who truly wants me. Its not my xMM's fault, I'm disfunctional enough to allow a lot of crap to happen.

 

I'm giving it up and hope to be in a committed relationship soon..my goal is to be in one by 6 months from now.

[mzdolphin]

Nice thread, simply because most of the messages are positive. I like the vibe.

 

 

I ended things two years ago with XMM, but I haven't gone NC. He lives in another state, so it's not hard to stay away. But I've allowed him to email or call occasionally. We have mutual professional interests and dozens of mutual friends. We've actually collaborated on quite a bit of work.

 

But now reading these posts, I'm thinking I need to even end all contact. Just curious for those who have gone NC. How did you do it? I mean do you just shut it down or do you inform the person that you're going NC?

 

Just wondering which way works best.

[TurningTables]

Excellent post Turning!!

 

I have been NC for 13 years I am doing great. Happily married.

 

I agree, NC should be celebrated; not turned into something negative. I love it when women get to a point where they aren't preoccupied with the # of hours or days it has been -- when they say its been a few months or several week - no specific countdown of time

 

Thanks Fooled Once..I keep forgetting that you're xMM was from years ago and that you're happily married now.

 

Maybe there's hope for me. I want to overcome whatever disfunctional part of me keeps me from finding someone who truly wants me. Its not my xMM's fault, I'm disfunctional enough to allow a lot of crap to happen.

 

I'm giving it up and hope to be in a committed relationship soon..my goal is to be in one by 6 months from now.

 

Wow! 13 years! Congrats! I cannot wait until I get to the point where I just dont care anymore. I know I will get there. lol Sooner or later.

[TurningTables]

Nice thread, simply because most of the messages are positive. I like the vibe.

 

 

I ended things two years ago with XMM, but I haven't gone NC. He lives in another state, so it's not hard to stay away. But I've allowed him to email or call occasionally. We have mutual professional interests and dozens of mutual friends. We've actually collaborated on quite a bit of work.

 

But now reading these posts, I'm thinking I need to even end all contact. Just curious for those who have gone NC. How did you do it? I mean do you just shut it down or do you inform the person that you're going NC?

 

Just wondering which way works best.

 

 

Hi. A little background. Had a EA with my best friend. I actually told my xMM that it was over. I said some pretty nasty things in the end and I knew that wasent me. I told him that I couldnt be his friend anymore as long as he was in limbo about his M and his life. He tried to get me to talk to him about, but I refused. Since that day,(end of May) I broke NC once and then him on Dday. Next Wed will be 4 weeks since Ive talked to him.

 

I dont know how you have moved on with your life and still talked to your xMM. I think that you guys live so far apart has helped therefore, you dont run into one another.In the end, only you can make the decision. I wish you the best. Good Luck.

[mzdolphin]

Hi. A little background. Had a EA with my best friend. I actually told my xMM that it was over. I said some pretty nasty things in the end and I knew that wasent me. I told him that I couldnt be his friend anymore as long as he was in limbo about his M and his life. He tried to get me to talk to him about, but I refused. Since that day,(end of May) I broke NC once and then him on Dday. Next Wed will be 4 weeks since Ive talked to him.

 

I dont know how you have moved on with your life and still talked to your xMM. I think that you guys live so far apart has helped therefore, you dont run into one another.In the end, only you can make the decision. I wish you the best. Good Luck.

 

Thanks for the feedback. I think what makes our situation different is that we had not only a life outside of the affair, meaning we dated 20 years ago when we were both single, but we didn't have a lot of the sneaking, hiding stuff that usually goes with affairs.

 

He of course was lying. But he had been living separately from his wife for five years when we got reacquainted. We did everything out in the open. I could call whenever I wanted. I stayed at his place, he stayed at mine. He was hanging out with my family. We went on trips together. But he lied about being divorced.

 

He had just moved out, taken a job in another state (first Florida, then Virginia) and left the wife in limbo back in Ohio. By the time we met, he had been living apart from her for four years.

 

After I found out and dumped him in 2008, in 2009 he moved back home. We don't talk all the time. He does send emails and calls four to five times a year. It's more like touching base. When he does go into the I miss you and I love you stuff, I do cut him off. As long as he sticks to work, I've been ok with it. But even now, reading these posts, I'm thinking he sticks to the work stuff to leave the door open so he can make his declarations of love.