Mme. Chaucer Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Well, All your issues about getting married now, or later, or not, aside, I think you have some SERIOUS issues with your anxiety! Don't you think you need to get some help for that, just for your own well-being? Whether you end up marrying your fiance now, or ever? Link to post Share on other sites
dawgfan Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Hey World - I may be in the minority here, but I don't think it's a good idea to move in. I think you owe it to yourself and your fiancee to postpone your wedding and work on your issues and doubts before you take things any further. IMO, moving in at this point communicates one of two things: 1) You're unsure enough about your relationship that you want to take it for a "test drive" or 2) If you do postpone your wedding, your fiancee is in for an indefinite period of living together without a permanent commitment or intent to make a home and family with you. She may not admit it, but deep down, from what you shared about your fiancee, neither of these messages will make her feel loved and respected. This doesn't mean you should ignore your concerns, or your own mental health. Counseling should definitely be the next step. If you do end up making the tough decision to call things off, you'll at least be giving your fiancee the freedom to move on. No offense intended, friend. Just my two cents. dawgfan Link to post Share on other sites
Author World Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Thank you all for your responses. It's rough right now. I told her yesterday I didn't want to get married yet. Yesterday we spent the whole day talking. I still have anxiety that I can't seem to shake off. I'm going back to her house afterwork today to talk more. I am so deep in sadness right now. I don't want to cave but I feel like I might and I'll be right back were I started. I hate that I may have to leave someone who is my best friend and someone I love so much because I can't get comfortable with the idea of being married yet. It's a sad sad World... Link to post Share on other sites
halfblood Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) It's hurting me Edited September 14, 2011 by halfblood Link to post Share on other sites
Lucy88 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 World, I know that this is very difficult for you right now but you need to make a decision and stick with it. From reading your posts, your SO actually sounds to me like a kind, considerate and patient woman. She's prepared to address as many of your anxieties as she can, without having to call off an expensive (and very soon) wedding. I really don't mean to sound harsh, but it's not going to be easy for her to live with someone with mental ill health either. You have to both work on a marriage. Are you prepared to put that work in? If you postpone things, do you really think you would feel any better about marrying her in a year's time? You will be just as much of a mess then if you don't get your anxiety sorted out. It is crippling you. It boils down to either: (a) wanting to spend the rest of your life with her, and being prepared to work through the up's and down's together, or (b) remaining single and happily wallowing in your own unhappiness without her support. Best of luck with it. And whatever happens with the wedding, please do yourself a favour and seek some solid professional help and follow up for your anxiety disorder. Lucy. x Link to post Share on other sites
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