tb24 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Should I pursue a potential LDR? I got chatting to a girl from Paris on okcupid... I live in England (near London). She seems fun but honestly I didn't ever expect anything to ever come of it. We've been chatting online for the last 2 weeks and yeah, admittedly, if she lived closer I'd love to date her. We have plenty in common and get on well (online at least ). She's been casually mentioning meeting up (stuff like "You'll have to come and see the Paris nightlife"). I also get the impression she's starting to get a little attached to me, which would normally be fine... However, I'm not really sure I could handle dating someone I couldn't realistically see very often. Although it's really not that difficult to get from London to Paris, it's just the time it would take. I just don't know if I could cope One one hand, I like her. On the other, she's waaay further away than I'd normally consider dating. Part of my thinks I should just see where it goes. Part of me thinks I should back off now because I'll just end up hurting her and/or me. I'm used to relationships where I can go and see her after work, we can do stuff most weekends, etc. I'm just not sure what to do I mean we might meet up and not get on but honestly, if I thought that was the case I wouldn't even have this problem. And I know she's ideally looking for a long term relationship (as am I) so I don't really know how to proceed. She likes me, I like her. The only problem is distance. I do wonder whether I should pursue this or not. I know, I've never even met her and shouldn't be worrying about this yet but, well, I am. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 All your reservations make complete sense. LDRs aren't for everyone. Some might suggest you meet up and decide from there. Yet, I see that as only complicating matters as the distance issue remains the same. If anything, you have clarity right now, as you're not emotionally involved. It'd be muddying the waters to meet her when your concerns about the distance are so valid. Personally, I don't mind LDRs as they suit my lifestyle. However, your preferences for a relationship are at odds with one. That alone leads me to advise you against pursuing it. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 You're not looking for love, you're looking for convenience. LDRs are not for sissies. Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 No, you should not. There's no prospect for a potential end to the long distance relationship. You have never met her in person. You don't know when you would meet her in person. There are most likely plenty of other great matches on OkCupid. You're already having hesitations and doubts about an LDR... those only amplify when you're in an LDR. Date someone local. I haven't seen too many LDR's work unless the distance was required after the couple had spent time together in person. Link to post Share on other sites
torn_curtain Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I would strongly advise against it, unless one of you is planning on moving some time soon. I'm in one now and even though he has plans to move to where I am in a few months, it's still a stressful situation and I can't imagine what it would be like with no end in sight. Link to post Share on other sites
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