Day 31 of no contact...

[LilThalie]

Today is the day we would have said our goodbyes and started long distance had we decided to give it a shot. It feels so weird. I feel sad and free at the same time. I learned some good lessons from this whole story but I'm still missing him when I feel lonely. I now know that our relationship if it even deserves that name didn't do both of us much good. Not because we didn't like each other, in fact, quite the opposite, at least, that's what I thought. It just wasn't the right time, as dump as that might sound.

 

He left for a one month vacation in Brazil today and I will have moved far away when he comes back. Though it somehow feels good that we are no longer in the same area, it made me realize that I might never talk to him again. He didn't bother to contact me before he left the country, so I don't see why he would want to talk to me when he comes back. Maybe it's for the better. But it hurts so much to realize that he might just not care at all. And it makes me wonder if he ever did. I ponder questions such as if he even meant it when he said I'm in love with you..

 

It's time to start a new chapter and I can't wait for September to come around.

[Dblock10]

hey sorry to hear this, its the same story as me, my ex gf didnt want to give LD a try, she is travelling for half a year..

 

so we said our good byes, and ive not heard from her since either

 

also makes me think she didnt care..

 

she never once said she loved me though. so..

 

makes me feel like i wasnt good enough for her when i know if anything i am too good for her.

 

i dont want to loose her from my life, but its looking that way also, in the sense that if she doesnt contact me before she goes why would she once shes back..

 

 

whats your plan? im just staying NC and trying to not think about her. nights are getting easier, but during the day i hits me a lot.

 

and ive got to move to the area where i met her (im still at the uni we met at)

[LilThalie]

I'm definitely going to stay NC. I still think about him a lot but it doesn't make me cry any longer, just a bit sad.

I'll be moving away for a year for study project in mid September. New country, new city, new people, I'm hoping that will keep me distracted and will also offer a lot new opportunities. I'll return to the university we met at in one year's time, so I guess I'll have moved on by then and it won't be much of a problem. Sorry to hear that you'll be reminded of her all the time, that must be hard. Do you have any things to look forward to?

[Dblock10]

I'm definitely going to stay NC. I still think about him a lot but it doesn't make me cry any longer, just a bit sad.

I'll be moving away for a year for study project in mid September. New country, new city, new people, I'm hoping that will keep me distracted and will also offer a lot new opportunities. I'll return to the university we met at in one year's time, so I guess I'll have moved on by then and it won't be much of a problem. Sorry to hear that you'll be reminded of her all the time, that must be hard. Do you have any things to look forward to?

 

so what exactly happened with you, did you guys mutually agree to break up? or did he call it off? did you break up then didnt hear from him for how long before he went?

 

did you break nc before he went and try and reach out to him?

 

how come you think you will never talk to him again? facebook? mobile number?

 

 

yeah you have a great opportunity to move on, much like my ex has. well she's travelling so u never know what she will be up to but i'm sure it wont take her long to start having something intimate with another guy.

 

yeah you will return and wont even think about it much and if you do it wont hurt.

 

how long were you with him for before this.

 

its interesting you say " now know that our relationship if it even deserves that name didn't do both of us much good. Not because we didn't like each other, in fact, quite the opposite, at least, that's what I thought. It just wasn't the right time"

 

 

what do you mean? you made it official but knew it would come down to this separation?

 

 

 

i have uni starting, going to get involved with new activities and such but nothing massive

 

its really hard not hearing from her, makes you think they didnt care. just like what you said, did you not ever want to break nc and ask him stuff? I feel like saying to mine, is this really what you want? i didn't want it to be like this between us but seems like thats what you wanted all along.

Edited August 18, 2011 by Dblock10

[LilThalie]

so what exactly happened with you, did you guys mutually agree to break up? or did he call it off? did you break up then didnt hear from him for how long before he went?

 

Well, he was the one to end it. I didn't beg for him to stay. We saw each other a couple of times after that but it was awkward. Then I saw him with his ex and he ignored me. Later I asked him about it saying that I thought it wasn't fair that he wasn't giving me the true reason for our break up. I said that if he wanted to get back with her he should have told me. He kinda flipped, saying that I was being unfair, that he still liked me and stuff. But my trust in his words had been broken by that time.

 

did you break nc before he went and try and reach out to him?

 

I considered contacting him before he was leaving to wish you a save journey. But I realized that if I reached out and he didn't reply, I would have felt worse. So I didn't.

 

how come you think you will never talk to him again? facebook? mobile number?

 

Because I won't contact him and I doubt he'll contact me. Maybe we'll talk again in a couple of years, you never know what life brings. I just think it's unlikely.

 

 

yeah you have a great opportunity to move on, much like my ex has. well she's travelling so u never know what she will be up to but i'm sure it wont take her long to start having something intimate with another guy.

 

yeah you will return and wont even think about it much and if you do it wont hurt.

 

how long were you with him for before this.

 

Not long, a little over four months.

 

its interesting you say " now know that our relationship if it even deserves that name didn't do both of us much good. Not because we didn't like each other, in fact, quite the opposite, at least, that's what I thought. It just wasn't the right time"

 

 

what do you mean? you made it official but knew it would come down to this separation?

 

When we met, he had just separated from his ex. In fact, now I believe he was still with her when we met but he never admitted to it. It wasn't a good place to start. We did anyway, but I was very distant at times. Not because my heart was not in it, but because I didn't want him to see that it was. I tried to give him space to sort out his issues. His thinking on the other hand was very future-orientated, he wanted something serious and he wanted security, but he never talked to me about it. When he finally did, I was shocked and I literally ran away. He wanted to go long distance for the time we were in different places. I told him that I would be willing to go for it if things were going well up until then, but that I couldn't promise now(that was back in June). I realized, that wasn't enough for him. He wanted me to be sure.

When we had our break up talk, one of the reasons he did not want to try anymore was: "Thalie, if we tried it, maybe it won't work out after a year, just imagine, how much it would hurt then." I was not willing to give him that empty promise that we would stay together forever, maybe that was what he needed to hear.

[Dblock10]

oh i see, thanks for answering those questions for me

 

i am tempted to contact mine, not to get her back per say as i know that would be pointless. but to ask her a few things.

 

i do worry she could just ignore me to, but i think that would be unlikely i hope :S

 

seems like everyones situation is different. maybe i do just need to contact and see what its like.