BlindRage Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 It's been nearly a year.. and half a year since we last talked. SHe just randomly e-mailed me today. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm feeling like I'm about to cry my eyes out and I'm trembling. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I remember how hard of a time you were having last year. I felt terribly for you. I know your young and I remember what that was like when I was your age over ten years ago!!! So before you do anything, like respond, what did she email you? Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm not aware of your background but if this in any way will bring back bad memories then I would say delete it without reading, or at least without reading it again. I know that can be hard, almost impossible, but please do what you know is right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 I remember how hard of a time you were having last year. I felt terribly for you. I know your young and I remember what that was like when I was your age over ten years ago!!! So before you do anything, like respond, what did she email you? Hey Poorguy, Yea she and I ended horribly. I don't know why she would even try to contact me again. To me, by now, she was dead (I had in mind that I would never contact her nor attempt to look at ANY information that was of her, heck not even her name was spoken again around here). Then out of the blue she e-mailed me. The e-mail was only asking if it was me. Because a long while ago I e-mailed her with my school e-mail. I don't know what this is suppose to mean. She's -excuse my language- f**cking with me. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hey Poorguy, Yea she and I ended horribly. I don't know why she would even try to contact me again. To me, by now, she was dead (I had in mind that I would never contact her nor attempt to look at ANY information that was of her, heck not even her name was spoken again around here). Then out of the blue she e-mailed me. The e-mail was only asking if it was me. Because a long while ago I e-mailed her with my school e-mail. I don't know what this is suppose to mean. She's -excuse my language- f**cking with me. Was it asking if it was you by name? Or was it her possibly sorting through old emails and wondering if that one belonged to you? Catch my drift? Like shes trying to organize contacts or something? Dont respond at all as of now!! If she wants something else she will say so Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 I responded and she said "I haven't talked to you in a while and was wondering how you're doing". I just put I'm fine and thanks for asking. Also I said, "hope you're doing well and take care ." I'm not logging in my school e-mail for at least a month now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 (edited) She is a horrible person! Why would she even ask me how I'm doing. It's not like she even really cares how I'm doing. This is the same girl that while I was in a hospital bed dying over her, she knowingly didn't call to ask me how I was. She's nothing more than an attention wh0re. Probably the person she left me for is noticing she's worthless and isn't giving her the time of day he used to give her. Now she comes throwing crumbs my way to boost her ego. The hell with her. To me she's dead and she won't receive any further replies to her crumbs. I hope she takes my respond to her e-mail as common curtsey and nothing else. And hopefully she doesn't reply to them. I feel stupid for even responding to her e-mail and screwing my no contact up. Edited August 17, 2011 by BlindRage Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 I told you not to reply yet. Take a breath and relax...not the end of the world. You didnt say anything wrong. Chill out bud, your not dying and you didnt die all those months ago. You just had a setback Link to post Share on other sites
The_Good_Me Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 She is a horrible person! Why would she even ask me how I'm doing. It's not like she even really cares how I'm doing. This is the same girl that while I was in a hospital bed dying over her, she knowingly didn't call to ask me how I was. She's nothing more than an attention wh0re. Probably the person she left me for is noticing she's worthless and isn't giving her the time of day he used to give her. Now she comes throwing crumbs my way to boost her ego. The hell with her. To me she's dead and she won't receive any further replies to her crumbs. I hope she takes my respond to her e-mail as common curtsey and nothing else. And hopefully she doesn't reply to them. I feel stupid for even responding to her e-mail and screwing my no contact up. Don't feel stupid mate. Responding to her in the way you did just goes to show what a nice guy you are. After all she did to you, you are still able to be polite regardless of your feelings on the inside. You being nice is probably more of a kick in the face to her than if you ignored or replied in a bad way! She now gets to see that she gave up one hell of a decent human being! Like you said and feel on the inside "to hell with her!" if she follows up with anything, you can deal with it in whatever way you like. You can ignore her from here on or if she asks to meet, you can start giving her the whole "Sorry, I'm busy" after making her wait for a response for a while. If nothing else follows up then thats fine, you don't have to deal with her again. Don't beat yourself up mate, you've done nothing wrong Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 17, 2011 Author Share Posted August 17, 2011 I told you not to reply yet. Take a breath and relax...not the end of the world. You didnt say anything wrong. Chill out bud, your not dying and you didnt die all those months ago. You just had a setback Haha thanks man. I'm relaxed. She kinda screwed up my school e-mail for me. Now I'm dreading going in it. . It's true, I already survived the worst storm and this is nothing more than a drizzle in my sunny day. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Haha thanks man. I'm relaxed. She kinda screwed up my school e-mail for me. Now I'm dreading going in it. . It's true, I already survived the worst storm and this is nothing more than a drizzle in my sunny day. Excellent...Dude your a stud...you just dont know it yet. Your young. All this pain you went through and a setback here and there is just going to make you better!! Youll see... She doesnt dictate how you feel and neither does any other girl, but that one day is going to happen, when you least expect it and boom!!!...here she comes in your life..be ready for that please Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hey Blind Rage, sorry for that shocker. I can somewhat relate as my ex recently divorced the girl he dumped me for and asked me out again as if nothing was wrong! You are one of many dumpees who will experience an ex extending the proverbial olive branch to get back in your good graces. Be cautious! Don't fall for any "woe is me" e-mails of missing you and the like. Listen to any intuition you have that tells you that she is playing games, you would be right. You will know a sincere motivation from your ex in the core of your gut and even IF your ex misses you and honestly wants another shot, don't jump in with both feet. Baby step and guard your heart with your life. By now, you know red flags when you see them so keep your eyes wide open! Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted August 17, 2011 Share Posted August 17, 2011 Haha thanks man. I'm relaxed. She kinda screwed up my school e-mail for me. Now I'm dreading going in it. . It's true, I already survived the worst storm and this is nothing more than a drizzle in my sunny day. Can't you have her mail redirected to trash or junk...where she belongs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 Don't feel stupid mate. Responding to her in the way you did just goes to show what a nice guy you are. After all she did to you, you are still able to be polite regardless of your feelings on the inside. You being nice is probably more of a kick in the face to her than if you ignored or replied in a bad way! She now gets to see that she gave up one hell of a decent human being! Like you said and feel on the inside "to hell with her!" if she follows up with anything, you can deal with it in whatever way you like. You can ignore her from here on or if she asks to meet, you can start giving her the whole "Sorry, I'm busy" after making her wait for a response for a while. If nothing else follows up then thats fine, you don't have to deal with her again. Don't beat yourself up mate, you've done nothing wrong Thank you. . I really at this point have nothing else to say to her. I'm trying to see it that at least the last thing I said to her wasn't anything negative. She's dead to me though and her friendship is nothing something I want or need (like I once thought). Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 (edited) Antinko, I can't it's a school e-mail address. But I'm just trying to see it as a stone in my way. So far I've been improving and having fun. She just blindsided me today with her "hey how are you". It was unexpected and made me blowup with feelings inside (which I now feel are under control) . lol back to your comment, I don't think I can do that. Lovelydaze, I know what you mean. I can say with honesty that she won't be coming back into my life anytime soon. I was prepared to do whatever for her and she met me with a 'goodbye'. So she won't be luring me back. It's hard to admit but I HAVE become a better person from this experience. My heart is still broken but I've been trying to put the pieces back in place. I have my heart in a safe box. I won't let it get damaged again. Poorguy, what you say is 100 percent accurate. I've grown from this experience and someday I'll find love but it'll be returned not thrown back in my face. I haven't logged into my e-mail as I don't need to for school yet so if she has replied she shouldn't hold her breathe for me(if that was her intention, I'm not sure of what she even wanted). Edited August 18, 2011 by BlindRage Link to post Share on other sites
Diatribes Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 I'm not aware of your background but if this in any way will bring back bad memories then I would say delete it without reading, or at least without reading it again. I know that can be hard, almost impossible, but please do what you know is right. +1 Diatribes Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 blindrage, i havent been on in forever and a day and just logged on and caught this post. you have been doing good for so long. of course this contact can unearth things and feelings you are trying to bury. that is very natural, and happened to me in other ways......along the way of healing. dont let her get the best of you again. i think you handled it well. if you were going to respond...yours was a good one. you didnt disclose anything going on in your life to her, and you sounded like you were just giving her a generic and indifferent answer. i particually like that you said..take care. it actually implies to me, that you dont want to talk further. its like.....good bye so dont sweat it any further. she it as she had to humble herself to get in touch with you by breaking that N/C thing herself. her loss. she was an A$$$. so no worries : ) be well and continue along your way : ) you have come far : ) no matter what you you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Here's the good part! You are sooo much stronger than you think! You realized that what she was doing was nothing more than breadcrumbs. The fact that she made you angry by e-mailing you tells me that you are well on your way to recovery AND that you handled your responses with short and tactful messages with NOTHING in them for her to gage how you really are, but only giving her indifferent response leaving her in the dark and no idea where to "plunge the knife" is really good. You're doing great. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 blindrage, i havent been on in forever and a day and just logged on and caught this post. you have been doing good for so long. of course this contact can unearth things and feelings you are trying to bury. that is very natural, and happened to me in other ways......along the way of healing. dont let her get the best of you again. i think you handled it well. if you were going to respond...yours was a good one. you didnt disclose anything going on in your life to her, and you sounded like you were just giving her a generic and indifferent answer. i particually like that you said..take care. it actually implies to me, that you dont want to talk further. its like.....good bye Thanks for that IfiKnewThen, I do wish I had ignored her e-mail but I'm glad I didn't tell her anything beyond what I posted. She lost the privilege of my compassion and love the second she started loving someone else. I must admit just responding was too tempting not to. I handled it well and I don't want to thinking more into it than a friendly "good bye" as you said. so dont sweat it any further. she it as she had to humble herself to get in touch with you by breaking that N/C thing herself. her loss. she was an A$$$. so no worries : ) I agree. This was totally unexpected of her. She even changed her number, told me not to contact her, threaten me with a restraining order, etc etc... She really swallowed her pride in even just saying hi to me. Which in many ways I appreciate because when she left she made me feel worthless. It just seemed that I'm easily forgettable and nothing. Just her saying how on her own free will shows me that I'm a good person and I'm worth more than I give myself credit for (specially after how she treated me). I'm on a long road to recovery but everything starts one step at a time be well and continue along your way : ) you have come far : ) no matter what you you feel. Thanks for that I feel like I'm improving drastically and becoming a much better person Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 18, 2011 Author Share Posted August 18, 2011 Here's the good part! You are sooo much stronger than you think! You realized that what she was doing was nothing more than breadcrumbs. The fact that she made you angry by e-mailing you tells me that you are well on your way to recovery AND that you handled your responses with short and tactful messages with NOTHING in them for her to gage how you really are, but only giving her indifferent response leaving her in the dark and no idea where to "plunge the knife" is really good. You're doing great. I felt she just wanted me to come running back to her "hello". I've spent so long thinking about what I would say to her if I ever had the chance (I doubted she would ever contact me, the way she acted towards me was as if she had completely forgotten about me). I even went as far as asking her once if she remember my name . I just kept it short and in ways "sweet", I don't want her to think I hate her but I also don't want her to think that I would ever consider her friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 you did good. trust me. short and sweet as you said. and as chi said...nothing she can read into. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) So I initiated contact. We e-mailed pleasantly to one-another(shockingly she replied to my e-mails). The third time I told her that I miss who she was and still cared very much for her, so not to contact me again ever as it throws off balance my healing. She just said bye, I haven't heard from her since (this happened yesterday). Now, I'm feeling used and heartbroken again. I guess I'm more use to it now but it hurts knowing that she can just say 'bye' again to me so easily. I don't know if me telling her that was the right choice. In ways, I wish that we could've kept talking, but I knew that if that were to happen, I would become depressed even more than I am now. I'm weak for her,.... crap Edited August 26, 2011 by BlindRage Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Nobody (not even me!) knows the future. Right now, just from reading your posts, I think you are doing the right thing. You will find someone who appreciates you and who will love you and you will love in return. And then you guys will get on each others' nerves... but somehow you'll stick it out together because that's what it is all about. You handled this like a man should, and for what it's worth I admire you. Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 BR, I think you have done well and had a good learning experience from this. Time to really think about yourself and know that anything from her in the future will not be good for you. Time for real N/C for as long as it takes going forward. You don't need anything more than you got from the last communication. Nothing will make you feel good about this situation so be strong and drop off the face of the earth in her eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlindRage Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 Thank you guys for that. This totally sucks though. I'm just at a lost, I don't even know internally if what I did was right. Link to post Share on other sites
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