j_nelson Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 My girlfriend of nearly 5 years recently broke up with me. The last two years of the relationship were long distance (2000km apart). She said that I wasn't treating her as well as I did earlier in the relationship and our fighting was making her too unhappy. We stopped calling each other and didn't talk for nearly a month... I agree that I didn't treat her as well as I should have and I took her for granted...I have thought long and hard about this and realize I want to be with her and I can change my behavior to make her happy. I have told her this many times expressed my feelings to her...basically I have told her I want her back to prove to her I can change...she told me that she still loves me and cares for me and she still calls and asks me to hang out with her... but right now she can't do it....she said she was hurt too much..... the worst part is even if she did decide that we could give this another chance we aren't even in the same city for the summer (she and her mother don't get along very well so she moved 2 hours outside of town to live with her dad)...the only good thing about that is she has her own car... So really...I don't know what's going on here...I guess I need to back off and let her decide what she wants....but even if she wanted to try this again it kinda sucks since we just spent a school year apart and now a summer only to go away to school again in september.... Should I still hang out with her when she is in town/send e-mails/talk on the phone? Or should I tell her that it is too hard seeing her and hanging out as 'friends' (it really is)...I think I get a false sense of hope when we are together as 'friends'....maybe not talking for a while will be my best chance of getting back together with her...??? If any girls are reading this...what do you think she is thinking right now? Has anyone had a similar situation..if so what happened? I really do care for her and the time apart made me realize this...I just hope she knows I am sincere... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 If someone ran over your foot a couple dozen times, eventually you'd have trouble believing they'd not do it again, no matter how much they swore they changed. The bottom line is that people can take only so much hurt, and then their instincts for self-preservation kick in and say 'enough of this junk and never go near the creature that hurts you again'. It only makes sense. I doubt she'll take you back. You murder love not in one blow, but with a thousand cuts, and that's what you've done. Learn your lesson. If you supposedly love someone, treat that person well and don't take that person for granted. Or els you'll be back here after the next girl dumps you. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Well I'm not a girl but I'll put my 2 cents in anyway ..what do you think she is thinking right now? She is the only person who knows that. Ask her. Has anyone had a similar situation.. I think most people have been in a similar situation at some point in their lives. I just hope she knows I am sincere... She can't read your mind, you'll have to tell her how sincere you are. It seems to me that you know the answer. If continuing contact with this girl is tearing you apart then I suggest you stop, as painful as that may be at first. As you say, even if she did want to reconcile the distance makes it very difficult for you two to have a meaningful relationship. You two are going to school - why have the added complication of trying to get through school and maintaining a long distance relationship? Especially if you are trying to rebuild a relationship - I can see that that would be a very difficult thing to do via long distance. Perhaps she realises this also. There is no reason why you shouldn't be friends, but that can only happen if you let her go and get over your feelings for her, especially if she is not interested in having the kind of relationship you're looking for. Tell her how you feel. Apologise that you screwed up. Say that you wish things could be different. Then tell her that you both need to move on with your lives and if she doesn't feel the same way about the relationship as you do then wish her the best and move out of her life and on with your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author j_nelson Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 I have told her exactly how I feel...I do love her though so I am not going to forget about her...I will however give her space.... "I doubt she'll take you back. You murder love not in one blow, but with a thousand cuts, and that's what you've done. Learn your lesson. If you supposedly love someone, treat that person well and don't take that person for granted. Or els you'll be back here after the next girl dumps you." Wow....you seem to think you know a lot about her...For 4 years and 8 months I treated this girl great...the arguing and bickering in the last 4 months finally caught up to us though......I don't think I am the only one here who has taken someone for granted and been dumped only to realize the mistake you've made.... Link to post Share on other sites
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